Family Road Trips
by TheDoctorOrGabriel
Summary: Sam, Dean, Cas, Gabriel, Michael and Lucifer are on their way to Chuck's conventions. What goes on between Angels and Winchesters and the Devil. Later, adventures after convention ends. Sam/Gabriel Eventually Dean/Cas Hilarity ensues. rated M for languag
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own Supernatural, wish I did. . . .

**Gabriel:** "Are we there, yet?"

**Dean:** "No."

**Gabriel:** "What time is it?"

**Dean:** "Two."

**Gabriel:** "What?"

**Dean:** "Two!"

**Gabriel:** "Dean, like in the morning?"

**Dean:** "Shut up."

**Gabriel:** "What time does it start? Coz-"

**Dean:** "Fuck, say another word and I'll put holy oil into your bath and drop a match!"

**Gabriel:** "Calm down, muttonhead. It's not my fault we had to travel by car. It's so slow and confining. One little zap. That's all."

**Dean:** "No! Where I go, the Impala goes. . . .for the fifth time."

**Cas:** "Really?"

**Dean:** "Yes, Cas."

**Cas:** "I believe you said you didn't poop for a week last time."

**Dean:** "Cas!"

**Gabriel:** "pffffttt! Hahahahaha! Aaaahhh, what a loser! Dean-o feeling a little. . . . .? There's a rest stop coming up, you know. . . .if you need to. . . . pfffttt!"

**Sam: **"That's enough Gabriel."

**Gabriel: **"Ruining the fun, Sammy. . . . .There's nothing to do!"

**Dean:** "So leave. Bye."

**Gabriel:** "Sammy, wanna keep me entertained?"

**Sam:** "What?"

**Gabriel:** "You know, entertained!"

**Dean:** "Nuh-uh! No way! Not in my Baby, you don't!"

**Cas:** "It is very unwise, Gabriel. The space is limited back there. It may cause injury."

**Dean:** "Yeah, my ears will bleed!"

**Gabriel:** "So, turn the radio on."

**Dean:** "No fucking way!"

**Gabriel:** "It'll keep me from talking. My lips. . . .and tongue will be busy."

**Dean:** "Or you could just shut up and be patient!"

**Sam:** "Don't I get a say in this?"

**Dean:** "NO!"

**Sam:** "Why not?"

**Dean:** "Coz you will say yes!"

**Sam:** "What?"

**Gabriel:** "Oh, you know you would, Sammy. You never say no to me! Remember?"

**Sam:** "Shut up, Gabe!"

**Gabriel:** "It ended in lots and lots of chocolate and whipped cream. . . .entertain me NOW!"

**Sam:** "Gabriel!"

**Dean:** "Don't you dare touch Sam in my car Gabriel!"

**Gabriel:** "Sammy. . . ."

**Dean:** "Gabriel, no!"

**Gabriel:** "Ouch. That hurt."

**Dean:** "That's what you get for trying to jump Sam! Hitting your head on the bloody window, stupid angel. . . ."

**Cas:** "Are you okay, Gabriel?"

**Gabriel:** "Yup, Cas. Sammy, why'd you duck?"

**Sam:** "I dropped my phone. Are you sure your head's okay?"

**Gabriel:** "Kiss it make it better!"

**Dean:** "Gabriel, shut up! You're a goddamn archangel! Your head isn't broken!"

**Gabriel:** "So? Doesn't mean it didn't sting! Sammy would hate it if my head had a bruise!"

**Dean:** "Not my fault."

**Cas:** "Dean."

**Dean:** "What, Cas?"

**Cas:** "It is important that you remain calm."

**Dean:** "What is it?"

**Cas:** "Serenity is key-"

**Dean:** "Spit it out, Cas!"

**Sam:** "Uh, Dean?"

**Dean:** "What, Sam?"

**Sam:** "Your, uh, the Impala's window is uh, um. . . . "

**Dean:** "It's what!"

**Sam:** ". . . . .broken."

**Dean:** ". . . . . . ."

**Cas:** "I was trying to tell you that, Dean. Gabriel's collision with the window resulted in damaging the Impala."

**Dean:** ". . . . . . ."

**Sam:** "Dean?"

"Dean-o?"

**Dean:** "SON OF A BITCH! Gabriel!"

**Gabriel:** "aaaahhh!"

**Sam:** "aaahhhh!"

**Gabriel:** "Get off me! Dean!"

**Sam:** "Dean! The wheel! The wheel!"

**Dean:** "BASTARD! I'm gonna kill you, you goddamn angel!"

**Sam:** "Cas, grab the wheel!"

**Cas:** "Yes."

**Dean:** "You hurt my baby! Nobody hurts my baby and lives! My fucking window!"

**Sam:** "Dean, stop! There's no room back here for you! Stop!"

**Cas:** "Dean, where am I going?"

**Dean:** "Gabriel, this ain't over! Move over Cas."

**Sam:** "Say 'sorry', Gabriel."

**Gabriel:** "What? Sammy!"

**Sam:** "Do it."

**Gabriel:** "Fine. Sorry, Dean-o."

**Dean:** "No fucking way!"

**Cas:** "Forgiveness is divine, Dean."

**Dean:** "Cas. Shut. Up."

**Sam:** "Just leave it, guys."

**Gabriel:** ". . . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . . . "

**Cas:** ". . . . . "

**Gabriel:** "Oh look a tree."

**Sam:** ". . . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . . . "

**Dean:** ". . . . . "

**Gabriel:** "Oh look a cloud."

**Dean:** "GABRIEL!"

**Gabriel:** "DEAN! See, how do you like it, when I yell at you?"

**Dean:** "Sam, control him."

**Sam:** "Don't you think I've tried?"

**Cas:** ". . . . I wonder what Michael and Lucifer are doing."

**Sam:** "Why's that, Cas?"

**Dean:** "Probably, killing each other."

**Gabriel:** "Hey, kiddo, honk your horn!""

**Dean:** "Fuck you!"

**Gabriel:** "C'mon. Then their honk back! Lucy and Mikey will!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Gabriel:** "Fine. I will."

**Dean:** "NO! You're going to break it!"

**Sam:** "Children, please!"

**Dean:** "Did you just call us 'children', Sam?"

**Sam:** "Yes. Now both of you, get along."

**Gabriel:** "Is Sammy gonna put me in a time out?"

**Sam:** ". . . . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Will there be spanking involved?"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Dean:** "Gabriel, get out of the car now!"

**Gabriel:** "What? You're ditching me on the side of the road?"

**Dean:** "NOW!"

**Sam:** "Dean! Gabe, stay. Dean, look-"

**Gabriel:** "Nah, I'll see what Lucy and Mikey are doing."

**Sam:** "Gabriel!"

**Dean:** "Finally!"

**Cas:** "Goodbye, Gabriel."

**Michael:** "Watch the road!"

**Lucifer:** "Stop trying to smite me then!"

**Michael:** "Lucifer, you suck at driving!"

**Lucifer:** "Hey, it ain't my fault you asshole put me in a cage for fucking eternity and I had no idea what a 'car' was!"

**Michael:** "Then don't drive!"

**Lucifer:** "Shut up!"

**Michael:** ". . . . . "

**Lucifer:** ". . . . . "

**Michael:** "Turn left."

**Lucifer:** ". . . . . "

**Michael:** "Turn left!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . . ."

**Michael:** "Left, Lucifer, Left!"

**Lucifer:** "I know!"

**Michael:** "We're supposed to be following the Winchesters, you dick! When they turn left, we turn left!"

**Lucifer:** "Motherfucker, I know how to turn left! FUCK!"

**Michael:** "NOT RIGHT! NOT RIGHT! You idiot!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . . .my bad."

**Michael:** "Great. Fucking great."

**Lucifer:** "Now, what?"

**Michael:** "Dad's not going to be happy. Now, we're going to be late."

**Lucifer:** "Call them. Ask for directions."

**Michael:** "Lucifer, you know what Gabriel's going to say."

**Lucifer:** "Lil bro ain't that stupid, to insult me!"

**Michael:** "He's Gabriel."

**Gabriel:** "Who is?"

**Lucifer:** "aaaahhh!"

**Michael:** "aaaahhh!"

**Gabriel:** "Hiya, brothers!"

**Michael:** "Gabriel."

**Lucifer:** "Idiot!"

**Gabriel:** "So, a shortcut? I like it!"

**Lucifer:** "Shut up. Minor setback. It's okay, I got."

**Gabriel:** "Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. How come you're so feared but yet so stupid?"

**Michael:** "Gabriel, watch your mouth. Even if it is true."

**Lucifer:** "I'll kill both of you!"

**Michael:** "Yeah? And, I'll just dump you in the Pit again."

**Lucifer:** "It wasn't my fault! I slipped! Who the fuck leaves a banana peel in the middle of the fucking desert?"

**Michael:** "Watch the road!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . . .my bad."

**Gabriel:** "You almost hit a pole. A fucking pole."

**Lucifer:** "Why are you here again, Gabriel?"

**Gabriel:** "I missed you, Lucy!"

**Lucifer:** "Leave. Now."

**Michael:** "Gabe, you pissed off the Winchesters didn't you?"

**Gabriel: **"Let's just say Team Freewill isn't that exciting."

**Lucifer:** "Couldn't of Castiel come instead? I missed him."

**Michael:** "Me too."

**Gabriel: **"Guys! You guys suck! Last time I ever visit. Meanies."

**Michael:** "Lucifer! You're still going the wrong way! Turn around!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . . .my bad. Gabriel, here, is distracting."

**Gabriel: **"I wasn't the one who fucked up in the first place, Lucy."

**Lucifer:** "Fuck this! I hate cars! We're zapping!"

**Michael:** "No. We're driving. We promised Dad, we'd drive."

**Lucifer:** "I don't wanna, anymore! Michael, you can drive."

**Michael:** "Don't let go of the wheel!"

**Gabriel: **"Grab it! Grab it!"

**Lucifer:** "I got an idea!"

**Michael:** "Lucifer. . . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . . What the hell?"

**Gabriel: **". . . . Bobby?"

**Bobby:** "Where the hell am I? Gabriel!"

**Gabriel: **"Nope. Not me. Guess again!"

**Michael:** "Bobby, we need your assistance."

**Bobby:** "LUCIFER, YA DAMN IDJIT!"

**Lucifer:** "Just drive, old man."

**Michael:** "Bobby, take us to the 'Supernatural Convention'. I assume you know the coordinates."

**Bobby:** "Fine. Where's Sam and Dean and Cas?"

**Michael:** "In the other car."

**Lucifer:** "We decided to go on our own."

**Gabriel: **"I migrated. Mikey and Lucy are more fun."

**Bobby:** ". . . . .Y'all are idjits."

**Lucifer:** "What the fuck is an 'idjit'?"

**Gabriel: **"Lucifer, he means 'idiot'."

**Lucifer:** "Oh. Did he get dropped on his head and now he's some sort of retard?"

**Michael:** "I don't think so."

**Gabriel:** "I think so."

**Bobby:** "I can hear you!"

**Lucifer:** "Don't care."

**Gabriel:** "That's Lucy, for ya! Hey! It's the Impala! Ooooh, look at the convention!"

**Michael:** "Good, we caught up. Thank you, Bobby."

**Gabriel:** "Lucifer, open the door! It's hot in here!"

**Lucifer:** "I don't wanna go to some stupid convention! Michael, Gabriel, it is beneath us!"

**Michael: **"Lucifer-"

**Lucifer:** "Fucking posers! We're the real deal! I mean c'mon!"

**Michael:** "Don't make me smite you!"

**Gabriel:** "They have chocolate, Lucifer! And lots and lots of liquor!"

**Bobby:**"Get out of the damn car, idjits!"

**Dean:** "Bobby? The hell are you doin' here?"

**Bobby: **"Lucifer, zapped me into the driver's seat. I had to sit through annoying crap, while I drove their lazy asses here! Idjits!

**Lucifer:** "I hate that word! It's not even real!"

**Sam: **"Gabriel."

**Gabriel:** "I missed you, too, Sammy! My idiot brothers got lost. Good thing I came along!"

**Michael:** "It was Lucifer's fault. Dumbass."

**Dean:** "I know, I saw you idiots turn the wrong way. How hard is it to follow us?"

**Lucifer:** "Shut up, Dean! Your Impala is too ugly to follow!"

**Dean:** "What? Get your smited-ass over here and say it to my face, damnit!"

**Lucifer:** "What? Deanie thinks he can take on the Big Bad Devil?"

**Michael:** "Enough. Shut your damn mouths and behave. Or I will smite both of you."

**Lucifer:** "Get over yourself, Michael! If it weren't for that banana peel, I would've owned your white ass!"

**Michael:** "What'd you say, you bratty child?"

**Lucifer:** "I said-"

**Gabriel:** "Oooh, this is gonna be a good show!"

**Sam:** "Quiet! Don't encourage them, Gabe!"

**Gabriel:** "You know, you've done nothing but ruin my fun today!"

**Sam:** "Bite me."

**Gabriel:** "Love to!"

**Dean:** "Fuck! Gabriel, back the fuck away!"

**Gabriel:** "Shut up, Dean! Sammy get over here- Cas!"

**Cas:** "Chuck is coming."

**Lucifer:** "Castiel!"

**Michael:** "Little brother!"

**Lucifer:** "Why didn't you visit earlier, huh?"

**Michael:** "Sorry, I left you with the idiot Winchesters."

**Cas:** "It's alright, Michael. I missed you too, brothers. Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "Cassie, who the fuck is that? He looks like a hobo."

Chuck: "Did he just call me a hobo?"

**Dean:** "Chuck! Hey!"

**Chuck:** "Hey, guys."

**Sam:** "Been a while!"

**Chuck:** "Glad you could come."

**Dean:** "Chuck, this is-the strangest people you will ever meet. You already know Cas and Bobby, that tall guy with in all white, is Michael; the oompa-loompa thing over there is Gabriel; and that big, bag of dicks is Lucifer."

**Chuck:** "As-as-in the ar-arch-archangels?"

**Sam:** "Yup."

**Chuck:** "Three archangels here. . . ."

**Michael:** "Hello, Prophet Chuck. Nice to finally meet you. I'm Michael."

**Gabriel: **"Yo, Chucky, they call me Gabriel."

**Lucifer:** "Yup, you just got called a hobo by the Devil. Not many people can say that. Call me Lucy and I'll burn your dick off."

**Chuck:** "They came with you?"

**Sam:** "Yeah, but not in the same car. Thank God. Only Bobby got to ride with them."

**Bobby:** "Yeah, lucky me."

Dean: "So, we're here. Let's get our convention on!"

**Chuck:** "I'm just going to go drink some more. Angels. . . .here. . . .didn't see this. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "I think we just scared the Prophet."

**Michael:** "I think we intimidated him too much."

**Gabriel:** "Was your clue the 'dick burning'? Oooh, chocolate!"

**Sam:** "Really?"

**Gabriel:** "Hey! I was promised chocolate!"

**Lucifer:** "Doesn't chocolate stunt your growth? Oh, too late."

**Gabriel:** "That's coffee you overgrown fuckball. Guess who put the banana peel there anyway? Oh, light bulb!"

**Lucifer:** "Assbutt!"

**Michael: **"NO! Don't throw the bottle! LUCIFER!"

**Cas:** "Dean. Forgiveness is-"

**Dean:** "IMPALA NOOO! FUCKING ANGELS RUINED MY CAR! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU BROKE BOTH MY WINDOWS, YOU STUPID BUTTWIPES! MOTHER FUCKERS! GET OVER HERE SO I RIP YOUR DICKS OFF! GABRIEL! LUCIFER! I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOU!"

**Bobby** "Idjits!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . . my bad."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still don't own Supernatural

**Lucifer:** "Look, one snap and no more brokey window! I swear! Or I have insurance. . . ."

**Dean:** "Insurance! Insurance! I don't trust you using your mojo to fix my Baby!"

**Sam:** "Settled. Come on let's go in, it's starting!"

**Dean:** "Fine. Let's go Cas."

**Michael:** "You know what insurance is? You didn't know what a car was two hours ago."

**Lucifer:** "Shut up! Not so loud! Insurance is like porn right? If Dean likes porn, he'll love insurance! See, I know things."

**Gabriel: **"That's exactly right, Lucy! Your prize, a brain the size of a walnut!"

**Lucifer:** "Says the Smurf!"

**Bobby:** "C'mon, idjits!"

**Lucifer:** "You're lucky you ain't crippled no more! I'd smack you in the face with your wheel chair!"

**Michael:** "Lucifer. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "You know, what? I'll call you 'Booby'!"

**Bobby:** "What?"

**Lucifer:** "Yeah! Call me 'idjit', I call you 'Booby'!"

**Michael:** "We're missing Chuck's speech. Get your dumbasses in here!"

**Chuck:** ". . . . .So, yeah. Thank you all for coming. Uh, pay no attention to the um, archang-I-I mean, uh, intimidating people over there! They are uh, my, uhhh, number 1 fans!

**Bobby:** "What?"

**Dean: **"Fuck that!"

**Gabriel:** "Wooh! Yeah, Chuck's number 1!"

**Lucifer:** "Alright, Hobo!"

**Michael:** "Shut up!"

**Chuck: **". . . . .Right. . . .Yeah! And, they're gonna, um, uh, put on a show later on! Right! A 'Supernatural' show!"

**Sam:** "We are?"

**Dean:** "No we fucking ain't!

**Chuck:** It's going to be awesome!"

**Dean:** "I'll show you awesome when you get off the stage!"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Any questions?. . . . . Anybody? . . . . .Please?"

**Gabriel:** "I have a question!"

**Michael:** "Gabriel. . ."

**Gabriel:** "What? It's just a question. I'm curious!"

**Dean:** "Hurry up, Gabriel. I wanna talk to Chuck!"

**Gabriel:** "Wait your turn, Dean-o."

**Cas:** "I believe Gabriel was talking Dean. Don't be impolite."

**Gabriel:** "Listen to Cas, kiddo! Right, my question is: do you think Richard Speight Jr. is sexy?"

**Chuck:** ". . . . . What?"

**Bobby:** "Idjit."

**Lucifer:** "Booby."

**Chuck:** "Well, I guess. . . .Yeah, sure!"

**Sam:** "What about Jared Padaleki?

**Dean:** "Or Jensen Ackles?"

**Cas:** "Are you a MishaMinion?"

**Michael:** "You should ask Chuck in private. Everyone is staring at us."

**Lucifer:** "Hi, I'm Lucif-"

**Michael:** "Shut up!"

**Gabriel:** "And Chuck is the Prophet of the Lord! You people are going to be mentioned in the 'Winchester Gospel'!"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Cas:** "That was very unwise, Gabriel."

**Michael:** "Oh, he fainted."

**Dean:** "Look what you did!"

**Lucifer:** "The Hobo fell off the stage! Wahahahahaha!"

. . . . . . .

**Chuck:** "What happened?"

**Lucifer:** "You fainted!"

**Dean:** "Bobby and Cas are out there, taking care of everyone."

**Sam:** "Are you okay?"

**Chuck:** "I'm-"

**Dean:** "DEAD! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT UP THERE? I AIN'T YOUR NUMBER 1 FAN! FUCK YOU! I HATE THAT YOU PUBLISHED OUR LIVES! THERE IS NO CHANCE IN HELL THAT I'M GONNA ACT FOR YOU!"

**Chuck:** "But-"

**DEAN:** "WE AIN'T NO 'JARED PADALEKI, JENSEN ACKLES OR MISHA COLLINS'!"

**Sam:** "Quit it, Dean! Is that the reason you invited us here?"

**Chuck: **". . . . . . .It was all Becky's idea!"

**Sam:** "BECKY?"

**Dean:** "Wow. You're still with her? Never would've thought it!"

**Gabriel:** "Who's Becky?"

**Sam:** "GUYS! WE GOTTA LEAVE NOW! WE GOTTA LEAVE, WE GOTTA LEAVE!"

**Lucifer:** "We just got here. . . . ."

**Sam:** "You don't understand! If she didn't love Chuck, we'd still be 'together!'"

**Dean:** "Hahahahaha! Yeah, that's right! She stalked us everywhere!"

**Gabriel:** "WHAT? SAMMY!"

**Sam:** "Later! I'll explain everything later! But, we got to go, NOW!"

**Chuck:** "She's in the other room, somewhere. . . ."

**Sam:** "Now's my chance to escape! Quick, to the Batmobile!"

**Dean:** "Hey! I'm Batman!. . . .bitch."

**Sam:** "Jerk."

**Michael:** "I love it when they do that."

**Lucifer:** "I know!"

**Bobby: **"Hey, fellas. Look at this young lady I just met! She's so sweet!"

**Sam:** "NOOO!"

**Dean:** "Crap."

**Chuck:** "Hi, Becky!"

**Becky:** "SAM? Aaaaaaaaahhhhh! You came, you came, you came!"

**Gabriel:** "This is her?"

**Becky:** "I missed you sooooooo much! Give me a hug!"

**Sam:** "Nononononono. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "She's so. . . .perky."

**Dean:** "Like my nipples!"

**Chuck:** "So, Becky-"

**Becky:** "Were you thinking about me. Sam? I was thinking about you the whole time you were gone!"

**Chuck:** "You were?"

**Becky:** "I was thinking about how you and I were so great together. Why'd I ever break up with you?"

**Chuck:** "Because we love each other?"

**Becky:** "I'll always love you Sam!"

**Sam:** "I won't ever love you."

**Chuck:** "I'll always love you!"

**Gabriel:** "Okay, okay, okay. Enough. Sam's with me. I OWN him, little girl."

**Sam:** "Kinda harsh, Gabe. But, yeah, it's true."

**Becky:** "But, we're a match made in heaven! You're nobody to him! I'm his soul-mate!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . . . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Ooooohhh, look how mad Gaby's getting! I've never seen a dwarf explode!"

**Sam:** "Now, Gabe-"

**Michael:** "Gabriel. . . ."  
**Gabriel:** "Okay, I'm sick of this shit! I was made in heaven, I'm the Archangel Gabriel and Sam is MINE. So back the fuck off you, little bitch. Or I will snap you somewhere where there are no doors or time."

**Becky:** ". . . . . .Chucky, you know I like, love you, right?"

**Chuck:** ". . . . . . .Fine. Whatever."

**Bobby:** "So who do you all know each other?"

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "This convention sucks, Hobo!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, this chocolate is so cheap, it's disgusting!"

**Lucifer:** "And, the beers are warm too!"

**Gabriel:** "Are there any strippers coming?"

**Michael:** "Shut up, assholes!"

**Cas:** "I doubt there are strippers attending the convention. . . . .are there?"

**Chuck:** "Of course not!"

**Gabriel:** "Sammy can strip for us!"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Dean:** "Shut your fucking mouth, you dick!"

**Bobby:** "I think I went to the idjit convention."

**Lucifer:** "Sam, can strip, but not Booby! Yuuuck! I mean the 'Jim Beaver'? C'mon!"

**Bobby:** "He's okay. . . . . what? Well, he's always forgotten when the other three are around. . . ."

**Sam:** "I like Jensen."

**Dean:** "Jared."

**Michael: **"Jake Abel, for me."

**Gabriel:** "All of them, except Jim. No-just-NO. I'd have lots and lots of kinky se-"

**Michael:** "Enough!"

**Sam:** "Thanks, Gabe."

**Lucifer:** "Soooo, are you gonna strip, or what?"


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Gabriel:** "Sam only strips for me! My own private stripper! No sharing!"

**Sam:** "You're so embarrassing! Plus, it's all lies!"

**Dean:** "Yeah, right. Like I don't hear the music blasting from your room."  
**Sam:** "You could hear it?"

**Gabriel:** "What about the OTHER sounds? Turns you on, huh, Dean-o?"

**Dean:** "Shut up, Gabriel! What kind of angel are you? A fucking Archangel too! . . . . .Ohhhh, I get it! Daddy kicked you out of Heaven for being a perverted sex monkey! All that Loki crap is bullshit!"

**Gabriel:** "What?"

**Michael: **"Half of that is true."  
**Gabriel:** "LIAR!"

**Lucifer:** "Never mind, I take that back. This ain't so boring anymore."

**Bobby:** "I'm soooo happy for you. . . . .idjit."

**Lucifer:** "Booby, no one was talking to you. Mind your own business!"

**Chuck: **"I made the Devil enjoy a 'Supernatural' convention. . . . .I feel so proud!"

**Gabriel: **"Don't be! He could watch an apple all day long!"

**Cas:** "He's like a stoner who can watch his hand move for hours."

**Dean: **". . . . . ."

**Chuck: **". . . . . ."

**Gabriel: **". . . . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . . . ."

**Bobby: **". . . . . ."

**Michael: **". . . . . ."

**Sam: **". . . . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . . . .What?"

**Dean:** "Wow, Cas, that was actually funny!"

**Lucifer:** "You're first joke! Where's my baby book?"

**Michael:** "Still ain't as funny as Uriel!"

**Gabriel:** "Fuck Uriel. 800 years ago, he dropped my lollipop! He still owes me one!"

**Michael:** "Which reminds me, Lucifer?"

**Lucifer:** "What?"

**Michael:** "I found your pitchfork."

**Gabriel:** "You mean he doesn't, know? Oh, he's gonna love this."  
**Lucifer:** "Where is it? Gimme it! I looked for it for ages!"

**Michael:** "Well. . . . He threw it into the 'the Little Mermaid'. That trident? Look familiar?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . . . "

**Sam:** "What a cliché."

**Dean:** "I love 'the Little Mermaid'!"

**Gabriel: **"Uh-oh. Big brother Devil is starting to steam. . . . someone's getting grouchy!"

**Cas:** "Anyone who isn't an angel or a prophet, please do so to back away, immediately."

**Dean:** "What?"

**Lucifer:** "HOLY FUCK! I'M GONNA BURN URIEL'S DICK OFF SO BAD, HE'S GONNA THINK HE WAS BORN A GIRL! I'LL KILL HIM! MY FUCKING TRIDENT, IN THE FUCKING 'THE LITTLTE MERMAID'? WHAT THE FUCK? HOLY SWEET JESUS MOTHER OF FUCK! URIEL! I'M GONNA TEAR YOUR ASS UP, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! I SWEAR TO DAD, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

**Bobby:** "Good thing I backed away. He started to catch fire!. . . . .Dean? Your jacket's on fire. . . . ."

**Dean:** "Aaaaahhhh!"

**Sam:** "I think he just broke several commandments."

**Chuck:** "Good thing I had earplugs. I saw this coming."

**Michael:** "I meant to tell you that. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Wooh! That was awesome!"

**Dean:** "I'm on fire! I'm on fire!"

**Gabriel:** "Stop, drop and roll, Dean! Stop, drop and roll!"

**Cas:** "Dean, you're making it worse."

**Dean:** "Put me out! Put me out!"

**Michael:** "Hold still. . . . .Castiel told you to back away. This could have been avoided Dean."

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, act professional!"

**Dean:**"I'm sorry, but I was on FIRE, Lucifer!"

**Chuck:** "I didn't see that, I swear!"

**Bobby: **"Wait-you love 'the Little Mermaid' Dean?"

**Dean:** ". . .Who said that?"

**Lucifer:** "YOU!"

**Chuck:** "But it's a Disney movie!"

**Lucifer:** "I was defeated by him? I'm so ashamed!"

**Gabriel:** "Well, the chick was naked except for her sexy seashells. But she didn't even have a pus-"

**Sam:** "Gabriel!"

**Lucifer:** "You're making Sam all jealous! You don't swing that way anymore, Gaby!"

**Gabriel:** "I know! I put Sammy in seashells before!"

**Dean:** "WHAT? You made my little brother dress up as Ariel? Man, you are kinky!"

**Sam:** "It wasn't that bad. . . .it was a hot day. . . ."

**Bobby:** "Stop right there, Samuel."

**Chuck:** "I had to watch that. . . ."

**Michael:** "Why are we talking about this again?"

**Lucifer:** "Back to the convention, then?. . . . .So what about angel and devil strippers, then? If Sammy doesn't want to play. . . ."

**Chuck:** "How's about no strippers?"

**Gabriel:** "There's still that show."

**Dean:** "I ain't performing! I'm not Jensen Ackels, Sam's not Jared Padaleki and Cas is not Misha Collins! How many times do I have to say that?"

**Sam: **"I kinda wanna. . . ."

**Dean:** "No, you don't!"

**Bobby:** "Sam can if he wants."

**Cas:** "I'm a MishaMinion and I would be honored to play."

**Dean:** "You're playing yourself, Cas! That's pointless!"

**Michael:** "Me and Lucifer will participate."

**Chuck:** "Yay!"

**Lucifer:** "What? Lucifer will not!"

**Michael:** "Yes. You. Will."

**Dean: **"Sam! It's humiliating! Us playing us! How weird is that?"

**Sam:** "C'mon it'll be fun. Normal."

**Bobby:** "I might. . . . ."

**Sam:** "See? Bobby will!"

**Dean:** "Well, Bobby doesn't count! He's a strange hunter!"

**Bobby:** "Hey! Idjit, what'd you say?"

**Lucifer:** "I will not give into peer pressure, Michael! No! Get away! The Devil says NO!"

**Gabriel:** "1, 2, 3, eyes on me!"

**Dean: **". . . . . ."

**Chuck: **". . . . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . . . ."

**Bobby: **". . . . . ."

**Michael: **". . . . . ."

**Sam: **". . . . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . . ."

**Dean:** "What the fuck?"

**Gabriel:** "Now listen up, we are all gonna be in the show. So suck it up or I will spill all your secrets!"

**Lucifer:** "You wouldn't!"

**Gabriel:** "Oh, I would!"

**Dean:** "Try me!"

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, I ain't afraid of you!"

**Gabriel:** "FINE! DEAN! YOU'RE AFRAID TO KISS CAS, SO YOU MAKE OUT WITH A PIECE OF BREAD! MICHAEL! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PUT LUCIFER'S TRIDENT IN THE LITTLE MERMAID! LUCIFER! IT WAS YOU WHO MADE MICHAEL VOMIT WHEN YOU SWITCHED HIS MILK WITH WATER AND WHITE PAINT! SAM! YOU WATCH PORN ON YOUR LAPTOP UNTIL YOUR COMPUTER FREEZES AND CLAIM YOU DID RESEARCH! BOBBY! YOU SECRETLY SLEEP WITH A TEDDY BEAR AND A NIGHTLIGHT! CAS! YOU ACTAULLY WENT TO NEW MEXICO AND CHECKED EVERY FLATBREAD FOR GOD! CHUCK! YOU LOVE WATCHING ALL THE SEX IN YOUR VISIONS!"

**Dean:** "Oh. . . .my. . . . .God. . . . ."

**Lucifer:** "MICHAEL! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

**Michael:** "HEY! YOU MADE ME THROW UP FOR HOURS, YOU FUCKING COCK!"

**Sam:** "How could you?"

**Bobby:** "I sleep with a gun! A gun! The light is on, so I can see when I shoot!"

**Cas:** "I like flatbread. It seemed relevant at the time."

**Chuck:** "Is it wrong to like it? It's free porn!. . . . . .I said that out loud."

**Gabriel:** "Want me to say more? Or are we all ready to cooperate and be in the show?"

**Dean:** "NO! It's fine. I'll do it!"

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, me too! Just shut up!"

**Gabriel:** "Goody! I wanna be 'Sam'!"

**Sam:** "What? I'm Sam!"

**Lucifer:** "Ooh! Ooh! I wanna be 'Booby'!"

**Dean: **"Why?"

**Lucifer:** "So I can sit in a wheelchair and act like a retard! I can do it really well! Idjit, idjit, idjit! See?"

**Gabriel:** "Lucy, you don't need to act to be a retard."

**Dean:** "This is so stupid! Why don't we just play ourselves?"

**Michael:** "It would be fun, I would like to play 'Lucifer'."

**Lucifer:** "Huh? Really?"

**Michael:** "I always wanted to be an overgrown child."

**Chuck:** "Dibs on 'Gabriel'!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Really?"

**Cas: **"I would like to play 'Dean'. He's my favorite."

**Dean:** "Aaaawww! I get to be 'Cas', then!"

**Bobby:** "I'm gonna be 'Michael', then."

**Sam:** "1. . .2. . .3. . .4. . .Gabe! Quit moving!. . .5. . .6. . .7. . .so who am I?"

**Dean:** "Chuck."

**Sam:** "What? No! I don't wanna be 'Chuck'!"

**Chuck:** "Thanks, Sam."

**Sam:** "Dean. . . .Gabe. . . .trade! C'mon! Please?"

**Dean:** "Nope."

**Gabriel:** "Uh-uh, Sammy!"

**Sam:** ". . . . . .damnit!'

**Chuck:** "Thanks, Sam."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Don't own the rights to Supernatural. . . . .

**Chuck:** "This show better be good! It's the big finale!"

**Michael:** "Relax. Nothing will go wrong, Prophet Chuck. I will make sure of it. Have faith."

**Lucifer:** "Booby, you better sound like him, or you're going to be a crap 'Michael'!"

**Bobby:** "Shut the hell up! Don't worry."

**Dean:** "This is so stupid, I swear!"

**Gabriel:** "Dean likes to wear double shirts and a jacket to make him look bigger because he thinks he's short next to Sammy."

**Dean:** "Shut up! I said I'll play along!"

**Gabriel:** "So, quit complaining!"

**Lucifer:** "I changed my mind. I don't wanna do it anymore!"

**Michael:** "If you don't Gabriel will say embarrassing things about you."

**Lucifer: **"I don't care!"

**Gabriel:** "You're real name is Cosmo."

**Bobby:** "Ahahahahahahaha!"

**Sam: **"Cosmo? Like the 'Fairly Oddparent'?"

**Dean:** "What a loser! You went from a weird name to a crappy name!

**Lucifer:** "Sticks and stones, Dean! I still ain't doing it!"

**Gabriel:** "While stuck in the Pit, he listened to 'Wind Beneath My Wings' every two minutes."

**Dean:** "Lucifer's gay right?"

**Michael:** "Sometimes."

**Lucifer:** "Nope. Doesn't matter."

**Gabriel:** "Lucifer jerks off to a picture of Justin Beiber every night."

**Lucifer:** "So? Tons of girls do!"

**Gabriel:** "You're Team Edward."

**Sam:** "You're joking, right?"

**Dean:** "Wow. I mean, C'mon! Team Jacob forever!"

**Gabriel:** "Don't make me say the next one."

**Lucifer:** "Give it your best shot, Gaby!"

**Gabriel:** "Uriel called you a girl once and you thought you had a vagina for a century-"

**Lucifer:** "NO! SHUT UP! I'LL DO IT! I'LL DO IT! JUST STOP! NO MORE, NO MORE, NO MORE!"

**Gabriel:** "-and insisted Dad and everyone else call you 'Sandy'."

**Dean:** "Jesus."

**Michael: **"I watched Dad sigh."

**Sam:** "Lucifer, it's hard to respect you anymore.

**Lucifer:** "THAT'S IT GABRIEL! NOW IT'S YOUR TURN!"

**Bobby:** "Ya'll are just proving that your idjits!"

**Michael:** "This never ends!"

**Lucifer:** "Gabriel, you were afraid of rain for a ten years because you thought it was animal pee!"

**Gabriel:** "That's not true!"

**Dean:** "Aaaawww, someone's afraid of a little water?"

**Gabriel** "Lucy thought dicks were detachable and found out they weren't when you tried to pull his off!"

**Lucifer: **". . . . ."

**Michael:** "I remember that! Man, I felt that when you tried. Ouch."

**Sam:** "Quit you guys! This is getting us nowhere!"

**Cas:** "Sam is right. Lucifer, you said you would participate SO DO IT. Gabriel, JUST SHUT UP."

**Lucifer:** "Fine. . . . if I don't get to have a wheel chair, then it won't be authentic!"

**Bobby: **"I'm not even in a wheel chair anymore!"

**Lucifer:** "Too bad, you should be."

**Cas:** "I will try my best to sound like Dean."  
**Lucifer:** "So don't talk like that!"

**Cas:** "It is hard for me not to so. . . . .this will be quite a challenge."

**Lucifer:** "Not doing any better!"

**Sam: **"I forgot. Who was I again?"

**Gabriel:** "Nice try. You're still Chuck."

**Sam:** "Damn."

**Chuck:** "Thanks again, Sam."

**Lucifer:** "Who was I again?"

**Chuck:** "Two minutes, guys!"

**Dean:** "Wait! We don't have a script!"

**Chuck:** "Wing it! I gotta go get the audience ready."

**Dean:** "Chuck!"

**Lucifer:** "This is gonna be so sad. . . ."

**Michael:** "We will try our hardest to be entertaining."

**Sam:** "Where'd Gabriel go?"

**Chuck:** "One minute!"

**Dean:** "Fuck!"

**Bobby:** "Gabriel's playing a main character. We can't have only 'Dean'."

**Dean:** "I'm gonna kick his ass!"

**Lucifer:** "Who was I playing again?"  
**Cas:** "'Bobby'."

**Dean:** "Damnit, Lucifer! You're playing 'Bobby'! 'BOBBY'!"

**Lucifer:** "Okay, okay, Mr- Grumpy! Geez, time of the month for yah? Hold on, let me zap in a wheel chair. . . ."

**Chuck:** "Showtime!"

. . . . . . . .

**Dean:** "What do I do? What do I do?"

**Sam:** "Smile! Smile!"

**Michael:** (as Lucifer) "Fear me! I'm the Devil Lucifer! Satan with his big, scary pitchfork!"

**Lucifer:** (as Bobby) "Idjit, idjit, idjit! Look at my wheel chair! I put hot pink rims on it! Oh, look it's Lucifer! C'mon Dean we gotta kill him! . . . .idjit!"

**Cas:** (as Dean) "Yes. We shall."

**Lucifer:** "Do it better! Do it better!"

**Cas:** (as Dean) "We are gonna kick his ass back to hell. . . .damnit."

**Lucifer:** (as Bobby) "Idjit. Dean, where's Sam? Is he off making out with Gabriel? Idjit."

**Cas:** (as Dean): "I believe so. . . .sonofabitch."

**Sam:** "No! Why do you always pick on me?"

**Michael:** (as Lucifer) "Oh, look. I see a hunter. I'm going to kill him. For fun. And, to prove that I'm so badass. Grrrrrrr."

**Lucifer:** "You're such an ass!"

**Michael:** (as Lucifer) "I'm so evil, I kill even the handicapped. I'll just push you off the stage, uh, I mean hill. Die!"

**Lucifer:** "No, no, no! Don't! Aaaaaaaaahhh! Oh, it's going really fast! Aaaaahhh! This is fun! Aaaaah. . . . .ooooowwww."

**Michael:** "Oh, I pushed him too hard."

**Cas:** (as Dean) "Oh, no, Bobby!"

**Michael:** (as Lucifer) "I killed a hunter. Now for the Winchesters."

**Cas:** (as Dean) "I hope Sam comes here soon. I can't beat Lucifer without him."

**Dean:** "Yes, I could!"

**Sam:** "Dean! Quiet!"

**Cas:** (as Dean) "Cas. I need you."

**Dean:** (as Cas) "Did you call for me? It's Lucifer and he killed Bobby."

**Lucifer:** "Too much emotion!"

**Cas:** (as Dean) "Where is Sam and Gabriel?"

**Chuck:** (as Gabriel) "I'm here. I was eating chocolate until I died and came back to life. But, I'm here now."

**Michael:** (as Lucifer) "Prepare to die with my pointy stick!"

**Lucifer:** "I hate you!"

**Bobby:** (as Michael) "I'm here to throw you into the Pit. I have faith."

**Michael:** (as Lucifer) "Oh, no. With all of you here, I can't win. I must retreat."

**Gabriel:** (as Sam) "Oh, look we won. Yaaaay! Go team go!"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Dean:** "Where the hell have you been?. . . .uhhh, Sam?"

**Gabriel:** (as Sam) "Hi, Cas. Why, making out with Gabriel, of course!"

**Cas:** (as Dean) "Oh. Okay."

**Dean:** "What?"

**Bobby:** (as Michael) "Gabriel said he was eating chocolate."

**Gabriel:** (as Sam) "Oh, Gabriel's such a trickster! . . . .and that's all folks! Drive carefully!"

**Audience:** ". . . . . . . . . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Pssst! Encore! Encore!"

**Dean:** "Shut up!"

. . . . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Well, there went my career as a writer. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Good thing you're a prophet!"

**Dean:** "That was so humiliating."

**Cas:** "Did I do well, Dean?"

**Dean:** "Uhhhhh, yeeaahhh. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "I think that went pretty well!"

**Dean:** "Uhhhh, were you even paying attention?"

**Lucifer:** "Hey, just be happy I remembered who I was!"

**Michael:** "Too bad, you're still you."

**Sam:** "Where'd you go, Gabriel?"

**Gabriel:** "Shhhh! It's a secret!"

**Dean:** "Cut the crap! Where'd you go?"

**Lucifer:** "You know, Michael you jerkoff, that really hurt! Could you push any harder?"

**Michael: **"Quit whining. You're not even bruised."

**Lucifer:** "If you just wanted to push me from behind you could've just asked. . . . .so I could say NO!"

**Michael:** "Lucfier, don't make me take that wheel chair and smash it on your dick."

**Gabriel:** "I wanna do another show!"

**Lucifer:** "Go back to Munchkin land!"

**Chuck:** "Overall, I think we make a great team, excluding the show. We're like the Power Rangers!"

**Sam:** ". . . . . "

**Dean:** ". . . . . "

**Cas:** ". . . . . "

**Gabriel:** ". . . . . "

**Bobby:** ". . . . . "

**Michael:** ". . . . . "

**Lucifer:** ". . . . . "

**Chuck:** "Or not."

**Lucifer:** "And that Becky chick fell for him?"

**Gabriel:** "Now I know why you didn't want to play 'Chuck'."

**Chuck:** "Even Ninja Turtles. . . ."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Nope still not yet, no right. . . .

**Dean:** "At least the convention is over."

**Chuck:** "Uhhhh. . . . .wellllll. . . ."

**Dean:** "Please, don't say it."

**Gabriel:** "Say it! Say it!"

**Lucifer:** "Huh? I'm confused. . . ."

**Michael:** "Maybe I did push you too hard and lost what little brain you had left."

**Chuck: **"This convention is three days."

**Dean:** "FUCK! Well, I signed up for only one day. So, see yah."

**Sam:** "Dean."

**Dean:** "I can't take this anymore!"

**Cas:** "We came all the way out here."

**Gabriel:** "Yeah. And, I'm enjoying family time!"

**Lucifer:** "This is family?"

**Gabriel:** "One fucked up one."

**Michael:** "Lucifer, Gabriel, Cas and I will stay."

**Bobby:** "I'm kinda stuck here without a car. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "I could give you one really hard push in the wheel chair!"

**Gabriel:** "If I stay, Sammy stays!"

**Dean:** "No fucking way! He's leaving with me!"

**Sam:** "I could use a vacation, Dean. We both could."

**Dean:** "The world could go to hell without us!"

**Lucifer:** "Ahem. Helllllooo? Devil! Hell's already here. Nothings gonna happen."

**Cas:** "I want to stay in the company of my brothers, Dean. Join us."

**Gabriel:** "That sounded like you joined a cult, Cas."

**Lucifer:** "I like the Hobo. Two more days of playtime!"

**Chuck:** "I had to make it three days. . . .stupid!"

**Dean:** "FINE! Whatever!"

**Michael:** "It's settled. We're all staying."

**Chuck:** "Great! So, where are you guys staying?"

**Gabriel:** "Awww! You're so kind!"

**Chuck:** ". . . . .Great."

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "But, I'm staying at a motel!. . . .And, I already booked you guys rooms. Uhhh, just in case, you decided to stay!""

**Sam: **"Great."

**Dean:** "You knew we would stay! You planned this! This is fixed! Fixed!"

**Chuck:** "Most of the convention goers are staying there."

**Lucifer:** "So, I'm going to be staying at a motel full of fake me's?"

**Gabriel:** "Don't worry, Lucy! I like your Devil costume the bestest!"

**Lucifer:** "Shut up!. . . .What costume?"

**Dean:** "Well, I'm hungry! Let's go eat."

**Gabriel:** "Me too, I'm starving!"

**Sam:** "You ate like a gazillion chocolates."

**Gabriel:** "That's not what I'm hungry for, Sammy!"

**Lucifer:** "I don't get it. What are you hungry for?"

**Bobby:** "How thick are you?"

**Michael:** "Let's just go to a diner."

**Cas:** "Then to the motel."

**Sam:** "Fine."

**Bobby:** "Are we driving or zapping?"

**Lucifer:** "Za-"

**Dean:** "DRIVING! I'm not leaving the Impala here!"

**Chuck:** "Can I get a ride? Becky took the car to go to the mall with a fake 'Sam'."

**Dean:** "It's me, Sam, Cas and Bobby in the Impala. The rest of you can ride with Lucifer."

**Gabriel:** "I wanna ride with Sammy, Dean-o!"

**Dean:** "No fucking way! We got no room!"

**Michael:** "We'll trade you Gabriel for Castiel, Dean."

**Lucifer:** "Yeah! Yeah!"

**Dean:** "NO! I don't want Gabriel in my Baby ever again!"

. . . . .

**Gabriel:** "Your window won't go down, Dean!"

**Dean: **"You broke my window?. . . .again!"

**Gabriel:** "It ain't my fault! Your Impala is very shitty. Take better care of it! Or you got a crap-ass deal on it. What'd you pay for it, a quarter?"

**Dean:** "SHUT UP!"

**Sam:** "Gabriel, you're supposed to keep quiet. That was the deal. And, NO, I will not kiss you to keep you quiet."

. . . . .

**Lucifer:** "Play 'Wind Beneath My Wings'!"

**Michael:** "It's a radio."

**Lucifer:** "Play it!"

**Michael:** "It's an old song, the radio won't play it!"

**Lucifer:** "Then sing it!"

**Michael:** "NO."

**Chuck: **"I can see why Bobby didn't like driving with them."

**Cas:** "Try living with them."

**Lucifer:** "Yaayy! Another joke! Funny stuff Cassie, gonna be the funniest in the Garrison, soon!"

**Michael:** "You make a better Gabriel."

**Gabriel:** "I heard that!"

**Lucifer:** "Hey! Go back to your own car!'

**Gabriel:** Fine. Don't talk about me!"

**Michael:** "He's such a weirdo."

. . . . .

**Gabriel: **"Hey! I heard that too! Stop it!"

**Dean: **"Quit yelling!"

**Sam:** "Where'd you go?"

**Gabriel:** "To the other car.

**Dean:** "Why didn't you stay there?"

**Gabriel:** "Sammy's gonna die without me!"

**Bobby:** "I should've taken up Lucifer's offer and just wheel myself home."

**Dean:** "You're keeping me sane, Bobby."

**Gabriel:** "He ain't doing a good job, then. . . .I think I broke your window more."

. . . . .

**Michael:** "Why are you driving again? You suck!"

**Lucifer:** "How am I supposed to get better, if I don't practice? I think I'm doing a lot better now!"

**Chuck:** "We're going 20 mph, the speed limits 25."

**Michael:** "Drive faster, or we're gonna lose them and get lost. . . . .again!"

**Lucifer:** "Your panicking is making me panic!"

**Cas:** "Serenity is key-"

**Michael:** "Don't even start."

**Lucifer:** "You just took ten steps back. Bring the funny Cas back!"

**Chuck:** "Can I put all this banter into my book?"  
**Lucifer:** "Nah, I think you need to put more sex in it. Other than that, it's like reading the damn dictionary!"

**Michael:** "You can't even spell 'dictionary'."

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "Those dumbasses are going so slow!"

**Gabriel:** "It's coz Lucy's driving. He needed 10 training wheels for his tricycle and Daddy had to hold him!"

**Sam:** "I can see the Diner."

**Bobby:** "Thank God."

**Gabriel:** "It's only going to get better! We still have the rest of the weekend for fun-car-time!"

**Dean:** ". . . . .Crap."

**Sam:** "It's your own personal monster, Dean."

**Dean:** "In the form of stupid angels. . . . . am I being punished for something?"

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Do you hear humming?"

**Michael:** "It's Lucifer."

**Cas:** "Lucifer, I think I see the Diner."

**Michael:** "You can slow down, now."

**Lucifer:** ". . . . ."

**Chuck:** "Uhhh, Lucifer?"

**Michael:** "SLOW DOWN!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "LUCIFER!"

**Cas:** "I'm going to duck now.'

**Chuck:** "Aaaaahhhhh!"

**Michael:** "STOP!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . . Didja say something?"

**Michael:** "BRAKE! BRAKE!"

**Lucifer:** "Break, what?"

. . . . .

**Lucifer:** "Ooooooohhhhh, you meant 'brake' as in stop the car."

**Michael:** "Dumbass!"

**Dean:** "NOOOOOO!"

**Gabriel:** "Now the window seems like nothing!"

**Bobby:** "Now, THAT'S a dent."

**Chuck:** "How come I never see these kinds of things coming?"

**Gabriel:** "Maybe you got fired from your job, coz you served Archangels warm beer and shit chocolate."

**Dean:** "MY BABY! MY FUCKING BABY! WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS DID THIS?"

**Michael:** "Lucifer, Lucifer did it! All Lucifer!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Tattletale."

**Dean:** "LUCIFER!"

**Lucifer:** "My bad! I was humming 'Wind Beneath My Wings' and I didn't know! Michael confused me with his words! Plus, it's dark and the Impala blends in!"

**Dean:** "LUCIFER YOU FUCKING BUTTHOLE! YOU WON'T FEEL ANY WIND BENEATH YOUR WINGS COZ I'M GONNA RIP THEM THE FUCK OFF! I AM PERSONALLY GONNA JUMP INTO THE OCEAN STEAL THE MERMAID'S TRIDENT AND STAB YOU WITH IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN UNITL YOU LOOK LIKE CHEESE!"

**Gabriel:** "Technically, it isn't Ariel's trident. Shouldn't you know the movie? It's your favorite."

**Lucifer:** ". . . . .Would you like more insurance?"

. . . . .

**Gabriel:** "Cake!"

**Dean:** "Pie!"

**Gabriel:** "Cake!"

**Dean:** "Pie!"

**Gabriel:** "Cake!"

**Dean:** "No, pie!"

**Gabriel:** "No, cake!"

**Dean:** "Pie!"

**Gabriel:** "I want cake!"

**Dean:** "Fuck you! We're ordering pie!"

**Sam:** "Why not chocolate cream pie?"

**Gabriel:** "Oooohhh, that sounds good! Okie-dokie."

**Dean:** "No! We're getting apple."

**Gabriel:** "No! Chocolate cream!"

**Dean:** "Apple!"

**Sam:** "Well, I tried."

**Lucifer:** "I want ice cream!"

**Bobby:** "I can't believe what I'm hearing."

**Gabriel:** "Why are you being so difficult?"  
**Dean:** "You're the one being so stubborn!"

**Cas:** "They've been going at it for ten minutes."

**Michael:** "There should be a kids table here."

**Lucifer:** "Hellloo! I want ice cream!"

**Chuck:** "Okay, okay, we'll get you ice cream."

**Dean:** "If we get apple pie, I'll let you and Sam share a room."

**Gabriel:** "No deal! I was gonna have one with Sammy, anyway!"

**Dean:** "What? No way!"

**Gabriel:** "Yes, we are!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Gabriel:** "Yes!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Gabriel:** "Yes!"

**Dean:** "NO!"

**Gabriel:** "YES!"

**Cas:** "At least they stopped arguing over desert."

**Sam:** "Shh! You might remind them."

**Michael:** "ENOUGH."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Uh-oh, someone's in trouble!"

**Michael:** "We are going to get one apple and one chocolate cream. Now let's go. We'll decide on rooms when we get to the motel. Now, MOVE YOUR ASSES."

**Sam:** "Wow. Now I know why he's President Angel."

**Cas:** "Yes. He is the right hand of God."

**Sam:** "He's scarier than Bobby."

**Bobby:** "Not by much!"

**Chuck:** "I'm tired."

**Lucifer:** "Heeeyyy! What about me? I never got any ice cream!"


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Wish I owned the rights to Supernatural. . . .

**Dean:** "I can't believe Gabriel is in my fucking car again."

**Gabriel:** "You know, yah love me! Dean-on we're practically family!"

**Sam:** "Family is nice to each other, you know."

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, yeah. Sammy, you know why I got the pie, right?"

**Sam:** "Uhh. . . .to eat it?"  
**Gabriel:** "Off you! Mmmmmhhh. . . ."

**Sam:** "Oh, that's fine. I thought you were gonna throw it at Lucifer or Dean."

**Dean:** "No that's not fine, Sam! As the older brother, I say you're not sharing a room with him! Much less a bed!"

**Gabriel:** "What am I 200? I know how to use protection, Dean! I'm a big kid!"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Dean:** "GABRIEL!"

**Bobby:** "Dean, be happy he uses protection."

**Gabriel:** "Eeewww, Bobby doesn't use protection?. . . .Or even gets some? At his age?"

**Bobby:** "I ain't that old!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, coz you get carded at the clubs, right?"

. . . . .

**Michael:** "Damnit, Lucifer drive better!"

**Lucifer:** "Shut up! I still never got my ice cream!"

**Michael:** "Quit being such a kid!"

**Chuck:** "We can stop for ice cream. . . ."

**Michael:** "NO."

**Lucifer:** "Why not? Gabriel got his pie!"

**Michael:** ". . . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Arrgghh! You're such a dick to me! What is this racism?"

**Michael: **". . . . ."

**Lucifer:** "You like me, right?"  
**Chuck:** "If I don't die in this car in the next five minutes, I fucking love you!"

**Lucifer:** "Good enough for me!"

**Cas:** "I like you Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "Even when I killed you?"

**Cas:** ". . . . .never mind."

. . . . .

**Gabriel:** "Sammy, wanna be eaten or you want me to go first?"

**Dean:** "Damnit, Gabriel, talk about his in private!"  
**Gabriel:** "Not with you!"

**Dean:** "IKNOW!"

**Sam:** "We're talk about this later."

**Gabriel:** "Yes. When we're in OUR room."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Dean-o needs his Bobby to keep him sane, and Bobby needs someone to be there to turn on his nightlight and tuck him into bed."

**Bobby:** "Shut up."

**Sam: **"Leave it, Gabe."

**Gabriel:** "Honesty is the best policy!"

**Dean:** "Fuck my life."

. . . .

**Michael:** "I get to room with Castiel!"

**Lucifer:** "WHAT? No! I get Cassie!"

**Michael:** "You may room with Chuck. You said you like him."

**Lucifer:** "But he might smell like a Hobo!"

**Chuck:** "I'm not a Hobo!"

**Lucifer:** "You look like a Hobo who went to the Soup Kitchen."

**Michael:** "Cas wants to room with me."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "No he doesn't, don't give into peer pressure, man!"

**Michael:** "He doesn't want to room with you!"

**Lucifer:** "He doesn't want to room with you or Chuck, so that leaves me! Plus, I'm his favorite brother!"

**Michael:** "You killed him!"

**Lucifer:** "He's fine! Cas is one tough lil' cookie! He's here, ain't he?"

**Cas:** "I would like to room with Dean."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "That was the funniest joke, yet! Hahahaha!"

**Michael:** "He isn't joking, you cunt."

**Lucifer:** "Oh."

. . . . .

**Sam:** "You only booked four rooms? Chuck!"

**Chuck:** "I didn't know you brought three extra angels and Bobby!"

**Dean:** "You booked a room for each of us?"

**Chuck:** "Weeeellll. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Dude! Check it out! This room is missing a bed!"

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, this one too! Someone stole the other bed."

**Gabriel:** "Missing one."

**Lucifer:** "The thief struck again in this room! You think it was a demon that did this?"

**Bobby:** "Why don't you go and hunt it, yah idjit?"

**Dean:** "So there are eight of us and four beds."

**Michael:** "Three beds. Cas and Dean will share one."

**Dean:** ". . . .I will?"

**Gabriel:** "Bow-chika-wow-wow!"

**Dean:** "Yeah, okay, fine. You're okay with that, Cas?"

**Cas:** "Yes. Very much so."

**Sam:** "I think Bobby needs a bed."

**Bobby:** "A bed. No sharing."

**Michael:** "Two beds left."

**Gabriel:** "I think the hotter looking couple should get a bed."

**Sam:** ". . . .me too. But not the hotter part."

**Lucifer:** "I get the last bed!"

**Michael:** "I'm older."

**Chuck:** "Hey! It's my convention, I should have a bed!"

**Lucifer:** "You're just some dumb mudmonkey."

**Dean:** "C'mon, Cas, we'll leave them to it."

**Gabriel:** "Let's stay, Sammy! I wanna see who gets knocked out first!"

. . . . .

**Dean:** "So, what side do you want?"

**Cas:** "I have no preference. It's a bed. It's the same on each side."

**Dean:** ". . . . ."

**Cas:** "What is it, Dean?"

**Dean:** "I can sleep on the floor or chair, if you want me to."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Lemme just grab a blanket. . . ."

**Cas:** "I wanna. . . .share a bed with. . . .you."

**Dean:** ". . . . .Me too."

. . . .

**Gabriel:** "Are you hearing this? It's so mushy, yet, sweet! Aaawww, I'm so proud of Cas."

**Sam:** "Gabe, stop eavesdropping."

**Gabriel:** "What? No mints on the pillows?. . . .There. That's better."

**Sam:** "Gabe. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Mmmmm. Minty. You want yours?"

**Sam:** "Go for it."

**Gabriel:** "'kay. Enough foreplay. Where' my pie?"

. . . .

**Michael:** "Get off the bed, Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "It's mine! No! Get away! Get off the bed!"

**Chuck: **"Don't make me bring Raphael to kick your asses off the bed!"

**Michael:** "Ow! Lucifer get off me!"

**Chuck:** "Michael, stop pushing!"

**Lucifer:** "Hobo, quit it!"

**Chuck:** "Lucifer, you're hurting my leg!"

**Michael:** "Chuck stop squeezing me!"

**Lucifer:** "Let go of me! Ow!"

**Michael:** "Stop biting! Lucifer!"

**Lucifer:** "Not the hair! Not the hair!"

**Chuck:** "OW, guys! This face is money!"

**Lucifer: **"Chuck, your banging my head! Stop!

**Michael:** "Whose foot is that in my side?"

**Chuck:** "Who just kicked my ass?"  
**Hostess:** "I'm getting complaints about loud noises. . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Hostess:** "Uhhh, never mind!"

**Chuck:** "No wait! It's not what it looks like!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Fuck."

**Michael:** "You guys have the bed. I don't want it anymore."

**Chuck:** "I don't wanna sleep in a bed that she thinks we had a threesome in!"

**Lucifer:** "'Kay! Lucifer gets the bed!"

**Michael:** ". . . Gabriel better not find out."

. . . . .

**Gabriel:** "Sooooo, I heard you had a massive orgy, last night!"

**Michael:** "Eat shit and die."

**Gabriel:** "Why didn't you invite us? I could've brought the pie."

**Lucifer:** "NOTHING HAPPENED!"

**Sam:** "We could hear you through the wall."

**Gabriel:** "Like it rough, don't yah?"

**Chuck:** "Mornin', guys.. . .Man, my butt still hurts, thanks for that, guys."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . . .Uh-huh, nothin' happened!"

**Michael:** ". . . .FUCK."

**Lucifer:** "Worst timin, Hobo."

**Bobby:** "Heard y'all idjits, last night. Sure lot of banging and yelling."

**Gabriel:** "WAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**Dean:** "Mornin', Sammy, Bobby and. . . .you people."

**Cas:** "Good morning."

**Gabriel:** "More like, good night, huh, Cassie?"

**Dean:** "Damn. Ya'll look like shit. How was the room?"

**Michael: **". . . .Just peachy."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural. . . .

**Dean:** "So, Chuck, Lucifer and Michael all had massive sex together last night?"

**Gabriel:** "Yup. . . .I think Chuck finally isn't a virgin anymore."

**Sam:** "We could hear through the wall. Couldn't you?"  
**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "He was busy, Sammy!"

**Sam:** ". . . .Sleeping?"

**Gabriel:** "With Cas!"

**Sam:** "Well, yah, they shared the bed. . . .oooohhh."

**Gabriel:** "Special Ed gets it!"

**Sam:** "Don't be mean. . . .How was it?"

**Bobby:** "You're asking about your brother having sex with an angel? Really?"

**Gabriel:** "Well, we're not asking you. I know you never got any last night."

**Dean:** "It was awesome. . . .I'm awesome!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Probably got off from listening to the orgy next door."

**Sam:** "Gabe! Mental picture!"

**Gabriel:** "I know! I love it, don't you?"

**Dean:** "Thank God, Cas is my angel and not you."

. . . .

**Lucifer:** "FOR THE LAST TIME, WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX!"

**Michael:** "Don't yell. It's too early."

**Cas:** "I did not say anything."

**Chuck:** "But we didn't!"

**Lucifer:** "Whatever GAYbriel says, it's all lies!"

**Michael:** "I couldn't sleep. The floor was too hard."

**Chuck:** "No one told you to sleep on the floor!"

**Michael:** "Well, SOMEONE took the chair!"

**Chuck:** "What part of 'my convention' don't you understand?"

**Lucifer:** "Guys, I'm tired."

**Michael:** "We're almost there."

**Cas:** "What are we doing today, Chuck?"

**Chuck:** "Not having sex. . . .uhhhh, I don't know."

**Michael:** "You don't know? How is it your convention?"

**Lucifer:** "I'm. . . .tired. . . ."

**Chuck:** "I let Becky choose what was planned for today."

**Michael:** "Soooo, it's 'her convention'?"

**Chuck:** "NO!"

**Cas:** "Lucifer?"

**Chuck:** "It's MY convention and you can't have it!"

**Michael:** "I never said I wanted it!"

Cas: "I think Lucifer died."

**Michael:** "Nah, he's just sleeping-"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Shit."

**Michael:** "AAAAHHHH!"

**Chuck:** "AAAAAHHH!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "Grab the wheel! CHUCK!"

**Chuck:** "His fat head's on it! It's fucking heavy!"

**Michael:** "HOW? HE HAS NO BRAINS!"

**Chuck:** "AAAAAHHH!"

**Michael:** "AAAAAHHH!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Dean:** "Today's the day!"

**Sam:** "Huh? What do you mean?"

**Dean:** "Today's the day my Impala will not get hit!"

**Gabriel:** "Hehehehe. It's been through hell."

**Bobby:** "And you try to take care of that car so hard."

**Sam:** "And it gets ruined multiple times in one day, then in the whole time we've had it."

**Gabriel:** "Wonder how it'll get ruined today. . . ."

**Dean:** "NO! Shut up! Don't jinx it!"

**Bobby:** ". . . .Do you hear screaming?"

**Sam:** ". . . .Wind?"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .More like idiots."

. . . .

**Michael: **"AAAAHHH!"

**Chuck:** "AAAAHHH!"

**Michael: **"AAAAHHH!"

**Chuck:** "AAAAHHH!"

. . . .

**Dean:** "It's okay! I moved the Impala!"

. . . .

**Cas:** "Lucifer, ice cream!"

**Lucifer:** "Ooooo, gimme!"

**Michael:** "DON'T LOOK BACK AT US! TURN AROUND! TURN AROUND!"

**Lucifer:** "Huh? AAAAHHH!"

. . . .

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Lame."

**Dean:** ". . . . My Baby. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I was hoping would've blown up!"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Dean:** "But. . .but. . .I moved it. . ."

**Bobby:** "I guess he jinxed it."

**Michael:** "If Dean doesn't kill you, I WILL!"

**Chuck: **"I'm alive! I'm alive! Ground!"

**Lucifer:** "Dean-"

**Dean:** "aw. . . . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Whoa, he fainted."

**Cas: **"Dean!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Am I off the hook?"

**Michael:** "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

**Bobby:** "Guess not."

**Lucifer:** "My bad! I didn't know I fell asleep!"

**Sam:** "You fell asleep?"

**Gabriel:** "He's tired from all the sex he had last night."

**Lucifer:** "SHUT UP! I DIDN'T HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT!"

**Michael:** "AND YOU WON'T EVER HAVE SEX AGAIN, BECAUSE I'M GONNA RIP YOUR DICK OFF!"

**Lucifer:** "Wait! Can't I kill Gabriel, first?"

**Cas:** "Dean's waking up."

**Dean:** "What happened? . . . .My Impala!. . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . .Never mind."

**Gabriel:** "One look at the car and he's out again!"

**Michael:** "LUCIFER! GET YOUR DUMBASS OVER HERE!. . . .QUIT RUNNING, YOU PUSSY! I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE THEN KILL YOU AGAIN!"

**Lucifer: **"I rather have Dean! Wake him up! Wake him up!"

**Michael:** "LUCIFER!"

**Gabriel:** "My brothers are such dorks."

**Bobby:** "You are too."

**Sam:** "Dean! Wake up!"

**Dean:** ". . . .Huh?"

**Sam:** "No! Don't look at the car, look at me! Dean!"

**Dean:** "MY CAR!"

**Gabriel:** "It was Lucifer! Lucifer did it!"

**Dean:** "LUCIFER!"

**Lucifer:** "Dean! Yes, thank you, thank you! Fuck off, Michael!"

**Michael:** "I'M STILL GONNA RIP YOUR DICK OFF!"

**Dean:** "I'll help!"

**Lucifer:** "Aaaahhh! No! Get away!"

**Gabriel:** "'Run, Forrest, run!'"

**Bobby:** "Oh, I love that movie!"

**Gabriel: **"I know, kicks 'the Little Mermaids' ass!"

**Sam:** "Dean! Gabe, do something!"

**Gabriel:** "No! This is why I didn't want to get between them in the first place!"

**Cas:** "Chuck is gone."

**Sam:** "He ran into the convention. He said if he was killed, he'd have witnesses."

**Gabriel:** "Let's go in."

**Sam:** "But what about-"

**Gabriel:** "Don't worry! Lucy can run! He's like a fangirl who'll chase after fucking Robert Pattinson. Ew! The other two will give up. Eventually."

**Cas:** "Dean-"

**Dean:** "I'm gonna fucking kill you, you sick sonofabitch!"

**Gabriel:** "No worries! You'll still have sex with him tonight. C'mon, I smell coffee in there."

**Sam:** "But-coffee? Okay!"

**Cas: **". . . .Fine."

. . . .

**Dean:** "Get back here, moron! I'm gonna—where'd everybody go?"

**Michael:** ". . . .Ah."

**Lucifer:** "Faster! Faster!"

**Dean:** "Cas? Sam?"

**Michael:** "Gabriel? Bobby?"

**Lucifer:** "Faster! Faster!"

**Dean:** "I. . .can't. . .run. . .anymore. . ."

**Michael:** "Me. . .too. . ."

**Lucifer:** "Faster! Faster!"

**Dean:** "Let's. . .go. . .in. . .Michael. . .water. . ."

**Michael:** "Okay. . .we'll. . .finish. . .this. . .later. . .jackass. . ."

**Lucifer:** "Faster! Faster!—Hey, where'd yah go?"

. . . .

**Lucifer:** "Ah! I found yah!"

**Dean:** "Lucifer!"

**Sam:** "Dean! No! We're in public!"

**Michael:** "Water. . . ."

**Chuck:** "It's heaven in here."

**Gabriel:** "It's hell with us!"

**Bobby:** "All the fucking time."

**Lucifer:** "Why's it so quiet in here?"

**Cas:** "Everyone is staring at us. . . ."

**Fan 1:** "Yeah, that's them."

**Fan 2:** "I could hear them from across the hall."

**Lucifer:** "Why are they whispering?"

**Michael:** "More importantly, why are they staring at us and whispering?"

**Fan 3:** "I don't know which ones, though."

**Fan 4:** "Maybe all of them?"

**Fan 5:** "Except the old looking guy."

**Fan 6:** "Nah, I bet he was in on it too!"

**Dean:** "I can't hear what they're saying!"

**Sam:** "Do we wanna?"

**Gabriel:** "Wahahahahaha!"

**Fan 7:** "Yeah, I remember them from that show, yesterday."

**Fan 8:** "Oh, yeah! The number 1 fans. . ."

**Fan 9:** ". . . .You think they got Chuck to join in?"

**Fan 10:** "Well, he is standing with them. . . .And I saw them leave the motel together."

**Michael:** ". . . .FUCK."

**Lucifer:** "What? What? What are they saying?"

**Dean:** "You can hear them?"

**Cas:** "Only Michael and Gabriel can. They have the best hearing in Heaven."

**Sam:** "What are they saying, Gabe?"

**Gabriel:** "Take a wild guess! Hahahahaha!"

**Lucifer:** "Heeeyy, I saw that poser me at the motel. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "C'mon, almost there. . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Ah!"

**Gabriel:** "'Brain blast!'"

**Lucifer:** "WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT!"

**Audience:** ". . . . . ."

**Michael:** "Idiot!"

. . . . .

**Becky:** "And now Chuck and his number 1 fans. . . .Sammy. . .

**Sam:** "Man. . ."

**Becky:** ". . .Will come on stage and take questions."

**Dean:** "Uh-oh."

**Gabriel:** "They're all gonna have the same questions."

**Chuck:** "This is gonna suck."

**Lucifer:** "Can't I just kill them all?"

**Michael:** "Can't I just kill you?"

**Bobby:** "Let's get up there, idjits."

**Cas:** "How long is this gonna take?"

**Sam:** "Probably all day."

**Chuck:** "Hi. . . ."

**Dean:** "Umm. . . questions?"

**Gabriel:** "Every hand went up. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "That was pretty cool!"

**Michael:** "Shut up!"

**Dean:** "Uhhh. . . .you?"

**Fan 1:** "Hi, So, did you-"

**Lucifer:** "WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT!"

**Fan 1:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

**Audience:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . .Oops."

**Fan 1:** "Riiight. . .anyway, what make you so special that you're the number 1 fans?"

**Dean:** "Oh! That's an easy one!"

**Sam:** "This might not be so terrible. . ."

**Gabriel:** "This isn't going to be fun anymore. . ."

**Lucifer:** "Coz we're the real deal, you fucking poser. I'm the Devil."

**Chuck:** "It's because they never stop LARPing. EVER."

**Dean:** "Next question. . . .uhh, you."

**Fan 2:** "How come-"

**Lucifer:** "WE NEVER HAD SEX LAST NIGHT!"

**Michael:** "BE QUIET!"

**Fan 2:** "—the Devil doesn't have a pitchfork?"

**Lucifer:** "Coz that dick over there threw it into 'the Little Mermaid'!"

**Michael:** "Stop whining!"

**Sam:** "At least it's not about last night. . ."

**Gabriel:** "I know, what a drag. . ."

**Chuck:** "How come Lucifer gets all the questions?"

**Lucifer:** "Coz you look like a Hobo! Don't be jealous!"

**Fan 3:** "Is Cas and Dean ever going to get together?"

Dean: ". . . .Uhhhh. . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .Chuck?"

**Gabriel:** "HELL YES! They got together last night!"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Dean:** "GABRIEL!"

**Gabriel:** "What? It's true!"

**Cas:** "It's a possibility."

**Dean:** ". . . .Cas?"

**Audience:** "Aaaawwww!"

**Lucifer:** "BORING! Next question! Ummm, that poser 'Michael'. No the other one. Not you either! No, the uglier one! Yeah you!"

**Fan 4:** "Did you guys have a massive orgy last night?"

**Fan 5:** "Did Chuck join you?"

**Fan 6:** "And the old guy?"

**Bobby:** "Hey!"

**Chuck: **"Of course I didn't join! . . .oops."

**Audience:** ". . . ."

**Fan 4:** "So you did!"

**Fan 6:** "The old guy too?"

**Michael:** "Look what you did, Chuck!"

**Lucifer**: "Now it looks like we did!"

**Gabriel:** "Yes, people, they did have sex last night!"

**Sam:** "GABE!"

**Lucifer:** "GABRIEL!"

**Michael:** "WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT! DON'T MAKE ME SMITE THE ENTIRE CONVENTION!"

**Lucifer:** "I'M GOING TO STEP ON YOU, GAYBRIEL!"

**Michael:** "GABRIEL, YOU DIPSHIT! I'M GONNA FUCKING CASTRATE YOU!"

**Gabriel:** "No! Sammy would hate that!'

**Dean:** "Okay, that's all the time we have for questions!"

**Lucifer:** "GET BACK HERE, YOU OVERGROWN POKEMON!"


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Will someone please give me the rights to Supernatural? Oh, and a small reference to 'Scary Movie'! I was watching it, I'll give you a hug if you find it!

**Becky:** "You were great up there, Sammy!"

**Sam:** "I didn't say anything. . . .Gabriel?"

**Becky:** "But you looked soooooo hot up there!"

**Sam:** "Uhhhh, thanks. . . .Chuck?"  
**Becky:** "I never got to ask my question. . . ."

**Sam:** "Oh, well, too bad. . . .anyone. . . ."

. . . . .

**Gabriel:** "What time is it?"

**Dean:** "Nine."

**Gabriel:** "Eight?"

**Dean:** "Nine!"

**Gabriel:** "Ten?"

**Dean:** ". . .I'm. . .not. . .going. . .to. . .hit. . . you. . .for. . . your. . .stupidity. . ."

**Gabriel: **"If you talk like that any longer, you're gonna become a moron like Lucy!"

**Dean:** "Cas said serenity is key. . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .You're boring when you're peaceful."

**Lucifer:** "Oi! What time is it?"

**Gabriel:** "Ten!"

. . . .

**Michael: **"So, what are we doing today?"

**Chuck:** "I told you, I don't know! Becky's in charge today!"

**Michael: **"And, aren't you in charge of Becky and the whole convention?"

**Chuck:** "Well, yeah. . . ."

**Michael:** "Chuck, it's a simple question. What. . .are. . .we. . .doing. . .today?"

**Chuck:** "You don't need to spell it out for me! I ain't that dumb!"

**Michael:** ". . . .I give up."

**Chuck: **"No! Wait, come back here!"

. . . .

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Lucifer:** "Only ten?"

**Gabriel:** "Yup."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "What are we doing today?"

**Gabriel:** "Mikey's trying to get it out Chuck."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . .What's up with you?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Helloo in there?. . .He dead?"

**Gabriel:** "Nah, Mr. Buzzkill should go stand by his boy toy, instead."

**Lucifer:** "Dead. . .stead. . . Hahahahahaha! That rhymed!"

. . . .

**Sam:** "I uhhh, I-"

**Becky:** "Aaaawwww! You're sooooo cute when you're nervous!. . . . I'm making you all hot and bothered!"

**Sam:** "NO!. . . .SOS! SOS!"

**Becky:** "Why didn'tcha call me last night? I would've brought toys!"

**Sam:** "Ohmygod. . . . Wait, I wasn't with them last night!"

**Becky:** "I know! You should've been with me! Instead of Fraggle and the rest of them!"

**Sam:** "WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT!. . . .Oh, wait, I did."

. . . .

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . .Hey."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Hey."

**Cas:** ". . . .Hi."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Lucifer:** "Look at them partyin' over there."

**Gabriel:** "Sure is a wild bunch."

**Lucifer:** "Party animals."

**Gabriel:** "Hey, three stooges! Do something!"

**Lucifer:** "I think Booby, is just old and deaf, Cas is always quiet, and Dean is just. . .I don't know."

**Gabriel:** "What time is it now?"

**Lucifer:** "Don't know. . .HEY, WHAT TIME IS IT?"

**Fan 1:** "Look at the clock!"

**Lucifer:** "Screw you! And, your costume's ugly! And, your—that's right! Walk away! Keep walking!. . . . Nine fifteen. "

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Thanks."

**Lucifer:** "Wait—what?"

**Gabriel:** "Hahahahaha!"

. . . .

**Chuck:** "I take that back!. . .Michael!"

. . . .

**Sam:** "Listen, Becky-"

**Becky:** "I'm not afraid of that midget! 'Archangel Gabriel', puhleeze! We're at a convention!"

**Sam:** "But—"

**Becky:** "I'm the real deal! I'm sane!"

**Sam:** "No. . .no, you aren't. DOES EVERYONE NOT KNOW WHAT 'SOS' MEANS!"

**Becky: **". . . .'Sam On Sexy. . .Becky'?"

**Sam:** ". . . .I literally think I'm dying."

**Chuck:** "MICHAEL! Oh, hi, Sam."

**Sam:** ". . . .GOD! YOU SENT ME CHUCK?"

**Chuck:** "Thanks, Sam."

. . . .

**Gabriel:** "Wahahaha! Oh, man! Hahahaha!"

**Lucifer:** "Fucking Gabriel!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .But, no really it is ten, well, ten fifteen."

**Lucifer:** "No it ain't!. . .Is it?"

**Gabriel:** "Chuck's clock is broken."

**Lucifer:** ". . . . .Well, a Hobo's things are always broken. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Hehehehehhe."

**Lucifer:** "Why are you always laughin' at me, chuckles?"

**Gabriel:** "Lucy, I'm laughing with you, but you ain't laughing!. . . .Wait—I didn't know you could tell time!"

. . . .

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . .'Kay. I'm calm now. Later."

. . . .

**Becky:** "Soooo, Chuck, I was thinking that WE should have a party, tonight!"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Yeeeaa—NO."

**Becky:** "Not a big one! Just you know, the three of us!"

**Chuck:** "Look, Becks, the past two days felt like a wild, crazy-ass party and I'm tired—"

**Sam:** ". . . .My life is one big party—"

**Chuck:** "and I'm sure everyone else is tired too."

**Sam:** "—a fun, never ending party. . . ."

. . . .

**Lucifer:** "I can tell time!"

**Gabriel:** "Since when?"

**Lucifer:** "When I was little and still growing, when I was, like your height!"

**Gabriel:** "I'm not that short!"

**Lucifer:** "Have you seen yourself next to that gigantic sasquatch?"

**Gabriel:** "I'm not that short, yah douche!"

**Lucifer:** "You're so short you smoke weed to make you feel HIGH!"

**Gabriel:** "You're so dumb you stick a battery up your ass to say 'I got the power'!"

**Lucifer:** "You're so short you hang with the 'Seven Dwarfs'!"

**Gabriel:** "You're so dumb you think Justin Beiber's a boy!"

**Lucifer:** "You're so short—wait, he's not?"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .I don't know!"

. . . .

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Idjits."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Becky:** "You're not getting it Chuck!"

**Chuck:** "No! You're not getting it! I don't want to party!"

**Sam:** "I want Gabriel. . . ."

**Becky:** "Just the THREE of us, Chuck!"

**Chuck:** "Three, eight, it doesn't matter!"

**Becky:** "Just, you, me and Sam!"

**Chuck:** "Well, that sounds boring! And, awkward! What are we gonna do? Play Pictionary?"

**Sam:** "I like Pictionary. . . ."

**Becky: **"I mean a party in the bed, Chuck!"

**Chuck:** "What? You mean like. . . .chess?"

**Sam:** "SHE MEANS A THREESOME!"

**Chuck:** "Ooooohhh! Well, in that case yeeeaa-NO!"

. . . .

**Gabriel:** "You're so dumb you believe everything I say! Helllooo, Trickster!"

**Lucifer:** "You're momma!"

**Gabriel:** "IS YOUR MOMMA TOO, YOU DUMBASS!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Oh, yeah."

**Michael:** "Hi, guys."

**Gabriel:** "Where'd you go? Chuck's lookin' for you."

**Michael:** "I went to go bang my head outside."

. . . .

**Dean:** "Hey, Sam."

**Sam:** "DEAN! Oh, man I missed you! Look who it is, guys! It's Dean!"

**Chuck:** "Hi, Dean."

**Becky:** "He can come too!"

**Chuck:** "NO!"

**Dean:** "Where?"

**Sam:** "Let's just walk away, slowly."

. . . .

**Michael:** "What time is it?"

**Lucifer:** "I DON'T KNOW!"

. . . .

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "And, I can't handle another minute here, Dean! I'm going crazy!"

**Dean:** "Calm down, Sammy."

**Sam:** "No I can't stay calm! A freakin' psycho chick is trying to rape me every second and it's too early! I think Gabriel died! Where is he? Can't he hear me calling for him?"

**Dean:** "SAMMY!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Good. Now just stay like that."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Gabriel:** "This mingling, break time, thingy is waaayy too long."

**Lucifer:** "I know."

**Michael:** "I think it's because we keep to ourselves too much. . . .I mean just look at those four over there. They're not even talking. They're just staring. . . .are those statues?"

**Gabriel:** "Nah, they move once in a while."

**Lucifer:** "I wanna poke them."

**Gabriel:** "Go for it."

. . . .

**Dean:** ". . . .STOP POKING ME!"

**Gabriel:** "He went for it."

**Sam:** "GABE!"

**Gabriel:** "What, Sammy?"

**Sam:** "Where the hell were you? I was calling for you!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Oh."

**Sam:** "OH? Becky was trying to rape me five minutes ago, and all you can say is 'oh'?"

**Gabriel:** "What? That little whore!"

**Sam:** "Where were you? It better be good!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Fighting with Lucifer?"

**Michael:** ". . . .Are these two statues?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas: **". . . .Please refrain from poking me, Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "Nope Cas is alive! Now for Booby. . . ."

**Bobby:** "Touch me and I'll shoot your balls off."

**Becky:** "Can I have everyone's attention? The main event is gonna start soon! Would you like to say a few words before we start, Chuck?"

**Chuck:** "WE'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE A THREESOME TONIGHT!"


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Supernatural rights will be the bestest Halloween treat ever!. . . .please? I used a line from the 'Vampire Diaries', hugs to whoever finds it!

**Dean:** "Chuck is the smoothest guy in the world."

**Gabriel:** "She wanted you to have sex with them, Sammy?"

**Sam:** "Yes."

**Lucifer:** "Eeeewww! Sam was gonna have sex with a stinky Hobo!"

**Sam:** "I wasn't gonna have sex with them! I was calling for SOMEONE to help me out! But noooooo! Fighting with Lucifer is more important, when you fight with Lucifer every damn second!"

**Dean:** "If you're not calm again, I'm gonna make you stand in between Cas and Bobby for the rest of the convention!"

**Gabriel:** "This angry you is really turning me on. . . . .Can that be the main event?"

**Sam:** "WHAT? I'm not gonna have sex with you now or tonight when you just brushed me off for Lucifer!"

**Gabriel: **"What? Sammy, no! I can't live without you! And I can't live without sex for 48 hours!"

**Sam:** "You're also going to have to find a different room tonight!"

**Gabriel:** "Noooo! Don't make me room with Chuck them! That's worst than hell!"

**Lucifer:** "No it ain't! I rather have hell than that room! Hell is like Heaven then in that motel room!"

**Dean:** "Well, you're not rooming with me and Cas!"

**Gabriel:** "Like I wanna sleep on the chair three feet away from you guys having sex!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "Forget about me. . . .Forget about me. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "FINE! Just know this hurts, Sammy! Michael, I'm movin' in!"

**Michael:** "Good thing there's a mini bar. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Well, whatever, I still get the bed."

**Bobby:** "FREEDOM!"

. . . . .

**Lucifer:** "Why the fuck. . . .was a fucking hike. . . .the main. . . .fucking event?"

**Dean:** "What. . .is. . . this. . .camp?"

**Michael:** "Water. . . ."

**Dean:** "It. . . .wasn't that. . . .bad. . . ."

**Sam:** "It was. . . .six miles. . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Uphill. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Well, it's not fair Booby got to sit out. . ."

**Gabriel:** "I know! The second she said 'hike' I saw him run his old ass to get the wheel chair!"

**Michael:** "If Chuck just told me sooner, we wouldn't have done this in the first place!"

**Chuck:** "Becky. . . .didn't. . . .tell. . . .me. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Another reason for me to kill her."

**Becky:** "Wasn't that the best hike ever?"

**Gabriel:** "Aaaaahhh! Sneaky little thing!"

**Cas:** "She's like a ninja."

**Gabriel:** "Aaaaahhh! So are you! When'd you get here?"

**Cas:** "Now."

**Sam:** "That was the worst hike ever."

**Becky: **"No, it wasn't! It was fun!"

**Lucifer:** "Why the fuck was there a hike in the beginning? This is a convention!"

**Becky:** "I know. It's called 'changing it up'.

**Gabriel:** "I'm gonna change you up alright!"

**Chuck:** "Serenity is key-"

**Cas:** "Hey. That's my line."

**Becky:** "Now's break time."

**Gabriel:** "Can I break you?"

**Dean:** "Well, I need water before I faint, soooo. . . ."

**Michael:** "Yes, I need water."

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, I'm gonna go punch Booby's face in. . . .cheater."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Yeah, I'm getting eaten to death by mosquitoes."

**Gabriel:** "Great! With all of you gone, I can kill her without witnesses!"

**Sam: **"Get your dumbass inside!"

**Gabriel:** "Ooooh! Feisty! I like it!"

. . . . .

**Chuck:** "If you guys were payin' attention Becky on stage-"

**Gabriel:** "I hate her!"

**Chuck:** "—you would've known there was a hike."

**Sam:** "We were busy discussing matters."

**Michael:** "Yes. Motel arrangements."

**Lucifer:** "Oh, yeah, the Hobo doesn't know. Gabriel's gonna be our new bunkmate."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Why?"

**Lucifer:** "Coz Sam kicked him out."

**Gabriel:** "Only for one night!. . . .Right?"

**Chuck:** "That's cool. Whatever."

**Gabriel:** "Right, Sammy? Right? One night?

**Sam:** "Where'd Dean go?"

**Gabriel:** "SAMMY!"

. . . . .

**Fan 7:** "You make a hot Dean."

**Dean:** "I know. Yeah, well you make a hot Lilith."

**Fan 7:** "Nah, Lilith's supposed to be a little girl."

**Dean: **"Easy. You could've worn skimpy clothes or a short dress."

**Fan 7:** "I guess."

**Dean:** "Why don't you change?"

**Fan 7:** ". . . .What? Are you trying to get with me or something?"

**Dean:** ". . . .What?"

**Fan 7:** "You're disgusting! Lilith's a little girl, you pedophile!"

**Dean:** "WHAT?"

**Fan 7:** "Why would you wanna get with a little girl?"

**Dean:** "No! Wait!"

**Fan 7:** "I'm leaving."

**Dean:** "I didn't mean it like that!"

. . . . .

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Sammy! You can't just walk away! Don't leave me hangin'! Oh, hey."

**Cas:** "Hello, Gabriel."

**Bobby:** "What?"

**Cas:** "You seemed distressed."

**Gabriel:** "Thanks for pointing that out, Captain Obvious! . . .I'm sorry. It's just Sammy's mad at me and he's never been angry before. What should I do?"

**Cas:** "Well, you can-"

**Gabriel:** "I mean he won't listen to me! What if I shout 'I'm sorry' really, really loud? Or I could get him chocolates! Lots and lots of chocolates that say 'I'm sorry' on them!"

**Cas:** "That sounds-"

**Gabriel:** "Nah! I'll just end up eating them all. What about flowers? I'll get him dozens and dozens of flowers! That's what a good boyfriend does to try and make up! How's about roses?"

**Cas:** "Okay, that's—"

**Gabriel:** "Red or white? What about both? Yeah! I'll give him both! WAIT! Don't roses have thorns? What if Sammy hurts himself? Then it would be my entire fault and he'll be even angrier! No! No, roses! Bad idea, Cas!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I could give him a bear! A nice, big teddy bear! Oh, but he told me about that bear that was all moody and pissed off. Well, my bear won't be alive and swearing all the time. Nah, that'll just remind him of Lucifer. . . .What do you think, Cas?"

**Cas:** "IT DOESN'T MATTER!. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Great! Now, Cas is mad at me!"

**Bobby:** "Idjit."

**Gabriel:** "What should I do, Bobby? Should I get him-"

**Bobby:** "Get me some beer and I won't be mad and yell at you for cutting me off."

. . . . .

**Sam:** "Did Gabriel leave?"

**Michael:** "Yes."

**Sam:** "Good."

**Chuck: **"Are you really that mad at him?"

**Sam:** "Yes."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "What? Stop looking at me!"

**Michael:** "You are only kicking him out for only one night right?"

**Sam:** "I don't know."

**Michael:** "You better! I don't think I could take him and Lucifer in the same room."

**Sam:** "You took them both for centuries! How bad is one night?"

**Michael:** "How bad was the apocalypse?"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . .That bad!"

**Chuck:** "Dude, I think I need a shower from that hike. Don't say it!"

**Sam:** "Say, what?"

**Chuck:** "Coz I'm a Hobo I need a shower!"

**Sam:** "Do I look like Lucifer?"

Chuck: ". . . .Well, you're tall like him."

. . . . .

**Cas:** "DEAN."

**Dean:** "You call, I come. I'm easy like that!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .What?"

**Cas:** "I did not like what you did, Dean."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Care to elaborate?"

**Cas:** "I saw you with the 'Lilith' girl."

**Dean:** "You did?"

**Cas:** "That was very wrong, Dean."

**Dean:** "I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH A LITTLE GIRL!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Wow, Dean-o."

**Dean:** "Fuck off, Gabriel!"

**Cas:** "Dean. I saw you FLIRTING with her."

**Dean:** ". . . .What? I wasn't! I don't like her like that, I swear!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Cas don't be mad. . . ."

**Cas:** "I'm not mad, Dean. I'm heartbroken."

**Dean:** "C'mon, Cas! You're the only one!"

**Cas:** "I'm not sure, Dean. Maybe you shouldn't sleep with me tonight."

**Dean:** ". . . .What?"


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Supernatural rights don't belong to me

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Lucifer:** "No! The motel is this way!"

**Michael:** "No! Just follow the Winchesters!"

**Lucifer:** "Fine! But, I'm telling you, it's THIS way!"

**Bobby:** "Why am I in this car, again?"

**Chuck:** "At least you weren't in it this morning."

**Lucifer:** "Stop complainin', Hobo! You're still alive!"

**Michael:** "You won't be if you go the wrong way!"

**Chuck:** ". . . .I bet it's awkward in the other car."

**Bobby:** "They all hate each other in there."

. . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Michael:** "Lucifer, if you get any close to the Impala, you're gonna hit it!"

**Lucifer:** "Why can't we be all mad at each other so it'll be quiet?"

**Michael:** "Coz we're already all mad at each other and we yell to express ourselves!"

**Lucifer:** "Well, stop expressing yourself! I don't mind if you're mad at me!"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Are you mad at me?"

**Bobby:** ". . . .Not yet."

. . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Is anyone else tired?"

**Dean:** "Of you?"

**Gabriel:** "Why do you have to be like that all the time, Dean? I was just asking a question!"

**Dean:** "No! You're instigating something!"

**Sam:** "Leave it, guys."

**Gabriel:** "No, Sammy. I wanna set this straight. And you!"

**Dean:** "He ain't straight if he's sleeping with you!"

**Cas:** "Dean!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah? And, you're as straight as a rainbow sleeping with Cas!"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Gabriel:** "That's right; you only slept with him once, so you're like half a semi-circle!"

**Cas:** "Walk away, Dean. This is pointless."

**Dean:** "Shut up! It's not like you're getting' any tonight!"

**Sam:** "None of your business, Dean!"

**Cas:** "You too, Dean!"

**Gabriel:** "Aaawww, little Dean-o's been put in a time out!"

**Dean:** "Screw you."

**Gabriel:** "I'd rather Sam."

**Sam:** "Gabriel, can you please be quiet?"

**Gabriel:** "So we could talk?"

**Sam:** "No."

**Cas:** "Dean that was very rude."

**Dean:** "Um, hello! Did you not hear your dick brother?"

**Cas:** "I thought you'd take the high road and be above it."

**Dean:** "Well, sorry! Guess the low road's more my style."

**Cas:** "Do you really want to argue?"

**Dean:** "Well, it would be your first official argue, and you WILL LOSE."

**Sam:** "I said 'no', Gabriel!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "'Did you ever know that you're my hero, and everything I would like to be?'"

**Bobby:** "What is he doing?"

**Michael:** "SHUT UP! STOP SINGING!"

**Lucifer:** "'I CAN FLY HIGHER THAN AN EAGLE, 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS!'"

**Michael:** "I. . .hate. . .you. . .so. . .much. . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . . 'It might have appeared to go unnoticed, but I've got it all here in my heart.'"

**Bobby:** "NOW, I hate you."

**Lucifer:** "Wooh! Chuck! You're my new BFF! 'I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.  
I would be nothing without you.'"

**Michael:** "You'll always be my BFH, 'Bitch From Hell'!"

. . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Y'all had a good ride?"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Spec-fucking-tacular."

**Gabriel:** "The best ride of my fucking life, Lucy."

**Lucifer:** "Wow, just asking, my ride was awesome!"

**Michael:** "Forget your dick, I'm gonna rip your tongue out."

**Lucifer:** "Then who'll be Chuck's singing partner?"

**Sam:** ". . . .Well, I'm gonna go in my room now."

**Gabriel:** "Okay! I'll come with-"

**Sam:** "Alone."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Nah! That's cool! I'll just wait out here. . . ."

**Cas:** "Give me the room key, Dean."

**Dean:** "Can't we talk about this?"

**Cas:** "Now. Key."

**Lucifer:** "Dibs on the shower!"

**Michael:** "No way! I'm going first!"

**Lucifer: **"Too late, I called it!"

**Chuck:** "Hey! It's my convention!"

**Michael:** "Stop saying that!"

**Lucifer:** "I'm gonna take over the world and take over the convention, just so Chuck can't say that anymore!"

**Chuck:** "Hey!"

**Gabriel:** "DON'T LEAVE ME WITH THEM! SAMMY!"

**Dean:** "Welcome to 'Casa Erotica', Gabriel."

**Gabriel:** "Where are you sleeping?"

**Dean:** "With Sam."

**Gabriel:** "YOU BETTER NOT DO ANYTHING KINKY WITH HIM!"

**Dean:** "WHAT? Shut up! He's my brother!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .What are they starin' at?"

. . . .

**Fan 1:** "There they are!"

**Fan 2:** "Oooooo! Look!"

**Fan 3:** "'Gabriel' joined the orgy now!"

**Fan 4:** "So, 'Lucifer', "Michael', 'Chuck' and 'Gabriel'. . . ."

**Fan 5:** "Kinky."

. . . .

**Dean:** "I can't believe Cas kicked me out."

**Sam:** "What'd you do?"

**Dean:** "I never do nothin'! He said he saw me flirting with some 'Lilith' girl."

**Sam:** "Ew, Dean. Lilith's a little girl."

**Dean:** "I didn't mean it like that!"

. . . .

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Lucifer:** "Hey! I called dibs on the shower! Who's in there?"

**Gabriel:** "I didn't know he was calling me!"

**Michael:** "Well, you-"

**Gabriel:** "So this is basically all Lucifer's fault!"

**Lucifer:** "What?"

**Gabriel:** "If Lucifer wasn't pissing me off, I'd be with Sam right now!"

**Michael:** "Uhhh, noooo-"

**Gabriel:** "I should go over there and tell him!"

**Michael:** "No!"

**Gabriel: **"Great advice, Mikey! Thanks!"

**Michael:** ". . . .Your funeral."

**Lucifer:** "Who the fuck is that in there? Who's missing?. . . .CHUCK!"

**Chuck:** "Aaaaahh! What? You almost made me slip and die!"

. . . .

**Cas:** ". . . ."

. . . . .

**Dean:** "And I—what's that sound?"

**Sam:** ". . . .The shower?"

**Dean:** "1. . .2. . .who is that?"

**Sam:** "Really? You had to count us? WE'RE THE ONLY ONES IN HERE!"

**Dean:** ". . . .No, but really. Who is that?"

**Sam:** ". . .Not Gabriel."

**Dean:** "Or Cas."

**Sam:** ". . . .Ready?"

**Dean:** "Do it. . . . ."

**Sam:** "Aaaaaahhh!

**Dean:** "What the fuck?"


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own the right to Supernatural FOR NOW . . .just kidding

**Becky:** "Oh, hi guys. . . .can someone pass me a towel?"

**Dean:** ". . ."

**Sam:** ". . ."

**Becky:** ". . .I'm naked because I was taking a shower."

**Dean:** "Yeah, no shit!"

**Becky:** "What are you boys doing in my room?"

**Dean:** "What?"  
**Sam:** "Your room?"

**Becky:** "Yeah, this is my room. Hence me naked. . . .and in the shower."

**Dean:** "Are you high?"

**Sam:** "Or drunk?"

**Dean:** "Or high and drunk?"

**Becky:** ". . . .Are you guys?"

**Sam:** "This is mine and Dean's room, Becky."

**Becky:** "I love the sound of your voice!"

**Dean:** "So get out! Can't you see all of our stuff lyin'-"

**Becky:** "Yours not so much. It's too gruff and manly."

**Sam:** "So you're saying mine's is girly?"

**Dean:** ". . . .Where'd all our stuff go?"

**Becky:** "I threw it out."

**Dean:** "WHAT?"

**Sam:** "Why?"

**Becky:** "Because it's my room and there was random shit everywhere."

**Dean:** "My stuff. . . ."

**Sam:** "I think I left my laptop in here. . . ."

**Dean:** "I don't care that it's almost midnight, I will run out to the Impala, grab my gun and shoot you."

. . . . .

**Chuck:** "Man that was an awesome shower."

**Lucifer:** "I'm so happy for you. Not. My turn."

**Michael:** "You better not start singing!"

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, yeah, whatever."

**Michael:** "I mean it!"

**Gabriel:** "I don't get it Mikey! How is that not a good plan?"

**Michael:** "Because Gabriel, if you zap into his room, Sam will shoot you."

**Lucifer:** "Aaaaahhh! Cold! Cold! Damnit, Hobo! You used up all the hot water!"

**Chuck:** "It was awesome for a reason!. . .You're the Devil! Get angry! It'll get hot."

**Gabriel:** "Then what do I do, Mikey?"

**Michael:** "Who do I look like? Dr. Phil?"

**Gabriel:** "I was thinking Oprah."

**Chuck:** "Nah, we need Jerry Springer."

**Gabriel: **"Fine Chucky, you can be Jerry Springer. What do I do?"

**Chuck:** "I don't know!. . . Let Sam come to you?"

**Michael:** "That's horrible advice. Sam will shoot him."

**Chuck:** "Hey, prophet. I know things."

**Michael:** "You see things happen. You don't create miracles."

**Sam:** "Hey, guys."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Sammy!"

**Michael:** "Holy shit. . . ."

**Chuck:** "OhmyGod. . . .I must be God!"

**Gabriel:** "Sammy!"

**Sam:** "Not now. Chuck."

**Gabriel:** "Chuck?"

**Chuck:** "Chuck?"

**Gabriel:** "Not Gabriel?"

**Chuck: **"Why do you look like you wanna hit me?"

**Gabriel:** "Can't you look like you wanna kiss me?"

**Lucifer:** "Hey, who's out there?"

**Sam:** "Chuck, why'd you book four rooms again?"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, I miss you too, Sammy!"

**Chuck:** "Coz it was you, Dean, Cas and Beck—Oh. Shit. Me and her were gonna share."

**Sam:** "And you just forgot?"

**Chuck:** "I must've been high. Or drunk. Or both."

**Sam:** "Well, she was in the room taking a shower when we walked in. And she threw out all of our stuff. Including my laptop."

**Chuck:** "Oh. Sorry?"

**Gabriel:** "Wait, wait, wait. That psycho chick is in your room right now?"

**Sam:** "Yeah. I came over here to kill Chuck."

**Chuck:** "But you can't kill God!"

**Michael:** "You're not God! I'm not gonna call you Daddy!"  
**Sam:** "How do you plan on fixing this, Chuck?"

. . . . .

**Becky:** "Is Sam gonna be back soon?"

**Dean:** "Just shut up and watch TV."

**Becky:** "I miss him. What're you doing?"

**Dean:** "Shut up. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Castiel to come and bring his sexy ass over here. We have a, uh, a major problem. Could be an end of the world like situation."

**Becky:** "You're lame."

**Dean:** "You're lame."

. . . . .

"_Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to Castiel to come and bring his sexy ass over here. We have a, uh, a major problem. Could be an end of the world like situation."_

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Nah, I got it Cassie. You just be a good little angel and keep sleeping."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Good boy."

. . . . .

**Dean:** "No, you're lame."

**Becky:** "No, you're lame."

**Gabriel:** "You're both lame."

**Dean:** "You ain't Cas!"

**Gabriel:** "No shit, Sherlock. It's the better angel to the rescue. I answered your prayer. It was a shit prayer, by the way."

**Dean:** "I was praying to Cas. And that was an awesome prayer."

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, well, little bro sent me. So I rushed my little sexy ass over."

**Becky:** "Who are you?"

**Gabriel:** "Didn't I already tell you?"

**Becky:** "I must've been too busy not caring.

**Gabriel:** "You don't wanna piss off an Archangel, bitch."

**Dean:** "Or he'll turn you into KITT from 'Knight Rider'. . . .wait. Time-out. Gabriel."

**Gabriel:** "What? Why are you whispering?"

**Dean:** "I've got an idea. Just go along with it."

**Becky:** "Hey, lovebirds."

**Dean:** "Sam pissed off Gabriel once and now he has genital herpes."

**Becky:** ". . . .What?"  
**Gabriel:** "Yeah. I gave it to him for life."

**Becky:** "Sam has. . . .genital herpes?"

**Dean:** "Yup! So next time you want to jump Sam, remember what I told you! He's a little shy about it."

**Becky: **"OhmyGod. . . .I need to go. . . ."

**Dean:** "Ha. She's so lame."

. . . .

**Chuck:** "What do you want me to do about it, Sam?"

**Sam:** "Just make her get out!"

**Michael:** "We have no more room space."

**Lucifer:** "You better not kick me out and make me sleep with Booby."

**Chuck:** "Let's see. . . .Room number one has Lucifer, Michael, Gabriel and me; Room number two is Cas; Room number three is Bobby; Room number four has you and Dean. . . .and Becky."

**Lucifer:** "Why don't Cas and me and Becky share a room?"

**Sam:** "Why you three?"

**Lucifer:** "Coz we're the only ones who don't hate each other."

**Sam:** "So it would be. . . .Room 1 is Michael, Gabriel and Chuck; Room 2 is Bobby; Room 3 would be Dean and me; Room 4 would be Lucifer, Cas and Becky. . . .Yeah, that could work."

**Michael: **"Now, Becky has to agree. Castiel probably will."

**Chuck:** "You know, I had this crazy idea that Becky and I would room together. Wait. I can create miracles! Becky will come to me!"

**Michael:** "That was all luck."

**Becky:** "I'm here!"

**Michael:** ". . . .WHAT THE FUCK?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .I wanna be a millionaire!"

**Becky:** "Sam! I'm sorry I didn't know!"

**Sam:** "Huh?"

**Becky:** "It's going to be okay, Sam! We're gonna get through this!"

**Sam:** "What are you talking about?"

**Lucifer:** "I see 'Gabriel' written all over this crap."

**Becky:** "It doesn't matter, Sam! True love conquers all!"

**Sam:** "Forgot to take your meds this morning or something?"

**Chuck:** "I love how she just ignores me."

**Becky:** "It's okay. I accept that you have genital herpes, Sam! I really do!"

**Sam: **"WHAT?"

**Lucifer:** "HAHAHAHAHA! Genital Herpes? Sam? HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**Becky:** "It's okay, Sam!"

**Michael:** "Who told you he had genital herpes?"

**Becky: **"Dean and Frodo in the other room."

**Sam:** "DEAN!"

. . . .

**Dean:** ". . . .Didja hear something?"

**Gabriel:** "I heard everything! And the Incredible Hulk will smash through in 5. . .4. . ."

**Dean:** "I get to be Batman!"

**Gabriel:** "3. . .2. . .1. . ."

**Sam:** "DEAN! GABRIEL!"

**Gabriel:** "Hi, Sammy! Look at you, comin' up in here like the Hulk! You wanna talk now?. . . .Oh. I think we woke Bobby up."

**Bobby:** "QUIT YELLING! IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN NIGHT YAH IDJITS! GET YOUR ASSES TO SLEEP!"

**Sam:** "I DO NOT HAVE GENITAL HERPES!"


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural

**Sam:** "I don't have genital herpes! Dean, say something!"

**Dean:** "Yeah, he only had it for like five minutes. . . ."

**Sam:** "Not helping!"

**Dean:** "The point is, Becky, leave Sam the fuck alone! I mean show some dignity!"

**Lucifer:** "I think you should chase after your dreams, human girl!"

**Michael:** "Don't encourage her, Lucifer! This isn't our business, anyway."

**Lucifer:** "Well, it should be! Talk to Chuck, he's Jerry Springer!. . . .Who is Jerry Springer?"

**Sam:** "Chuck! Yeah, Chuck! Chuck's your boyfriend! Shouldn't you be with him?"

**Becky: **"We broke up."

**Sam:** "You did?"  
**Chuck:** "We did?"

**Lucifer:** "Is Jerry Springer someone you worship?"

**Chuck:** "Nah, I'm fine with it. She drives me crazy anyway."

**Dean:** "Cool. So, Becky, get the fuck out!"

**Becky:** "But—"

**Sam:** "Hey, she's gone!"

**Gabriel:** "I took the trash out."

. . . . .

**Dean:** "It's the middle of the night, why am I not asleep?"

**Lucifer:** "Because Sam and Gabriel are in your room talking things out. Duh!"

**Dean:** "Thanks, for explaining it for me. I get it now."

**Lucifer:** "Are you sure? I can draw you pictures."

**Dean:** "Draw me a picture I'm gonna staple it to your forehead."

**Michael:** "Thank Dad, there's only one more day left of this damn convention."  
**Chuck: **"I thought this one was the best one yet!"

**Dean:** "This is only the second convention ever."

**Chuck:** "Well, yeah, but I never had angels attend!"

**Michael:** "And you never will again."

**Lucifer:** "What? I wanna come back again!"

**Michael:** "NO."

**Dean:** "Ugh. Can you hear them? They're really going at it. I guess they love each other again."

**Lucifer:** "Is someone knocking?"

**Michael:** "It's kind of weird knowing that it's my brother and your brother."

**Lucifer:** "No, really, is anybody gonna answer that?"

**Dean:** "Ah! Michael, you're making me picture it!"

**Lucifer: **"Guys! Someone's at the door knocking!"

**Dean:** "Damnit, Lucifer! Sam and Gabriel are having make-up sex next door!"

**Lucifer:** "Oooohhh. How come you and Cas aren't?"  
**Dean:** "Don't remind me."

**Michael:** "You know what I just realized? Chuck was probably jacking off to those sex visions."

**Chuck:** "I WAS NOT!"

**Bobby:** "Damnit, guys open the damn door!"

**Lucifer:** "See Booby was knocking!"

**Bobby:** "You idjits don't know how a door works? Anyways, Cas wants to see you, Dean."

**Lucifer:** "Yay! Time for Dean to have make-up sex!"

. . . . . . .

**Cas: "**Dean."

**Dean:** "You wanted to talk?"

**Cas:** "Yes. I did not like the way you hit on that girl, when you're with me."

**Dean:** "I wasn't hittin—you know, what fine. Okay, I'm sorry."

**Cas:** "You are my property. I left my mark on you."

**Dean:** "Like the whole 'made in Japan' kind mark?"

**Cas:** ". . . .I don't get it."

**Dean:** "Never mind. I know, your handprint."

**Cas:** "Yes. It is not something that can be washed, burned or cut off. We are bound, Dean."

**Dean:** "And, we bonded last night, too."

**Cas:** "That was. . . .special for me, Dean."

**Dean:** "I know. Me too. I promise not to speak to another girl the rest of the convention, okay Cas?"

**Cas:** ". . . .Okay. That is acceptable."

**Dean:** "Soooo, can I stay in your room?"

**Cas:** "You're only allowed in my room, Dean."

**Dean:** "You know, this whole jealous, possessive thing you've got going on, I like it. It's kind of hot."

**Cas:** "I don't get it. Is my vessel too hot for you to touch?"

. . . . . . .

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel: **". . . .Can I-"

**Sam:** "Quiet."

**Gabriel: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel: **". . . .Is it over-"

**Sam: **"Quiet. Your time-out is not over."

**Gabriel:** "But-"

**Sam:** "Turn back around, face the wall."

**Gabriel: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

. . . . . . . . .

**Bobby:** "It's almost one in the morning."

**Lucifer:** "Well, go back to your room. An old man needs his rest."

**Bobby:** "Technically, you're older than me, by like a couple centuries."

**Lucifer:** "Then shut up and respect your elders."

**Chuck:** "Why don't you go back to your room, Bobby?"

**Bobby:** "There are a couple idjit fans out in the hall watching the room. They're expectin' some massive orgy. If I leave, they're gonna talk. And, Cas is usin' my room."

**Michael:** "Dean and Cas made up."

**Lucifer:** "Hey! Don't eavesdrop!"

**Michael:** "So what. I'm Gabriel's big brother, I have the right."

**Chuck:** "Can't we all just go to sleep? Why are we up, anyway?"

**Lucifer:** "Because we're big boys and we don't have a bedtime."

**Chuck:** "Well, I'm gonna go to sleep."

**Lucifer:**"Good luck."

**Chuck:** ". . . . .Turn off the TV!"

**Lucifer:** "I'm watchin' here!"

**Michael:** ". . . .Is that coffee, Bobby?"

**Bobby:** "Yeah."

**Michael:** "I want some."

**Bobby:** "Get your own!"

**Chuck: **"At least turn the volume down!"

**Lucifer:** "No. You don't hear them complainin'!"

**Bobby:** "You're a damn angel! Get your own!"

**Michael:** "You're right. I am an angel, so give me yours."

**Bobby:** "It ain't hard to make coffee!"

**Michael:** "You're right. Drinking yours is easier."

**Chuck:** "I'm trying to sleep!"

**Lucifer:** "Want me to stab you so you'll fall asleep quick?"

**Michael:** "How? You have no pitchfork."

**Lucifer:** "That's right! Fucking dick, it still ain't over."

**Michael:** "Whoa! Don't throw the remote at me!"

**Chuck:** "Wha? Hey!"

**Michael:** "Aaaahhh! Don't throw Chuck at me!"

. . . . . .

**Gabriel:** ". . . .What's that noise?"

**Sam:** "Quiet."

**Gabriel: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .I'll be right back."

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "Cas, are you awake?"

**Cas:** "Unfortunately, yes. It seems like there is a fight going on."

**Dean:** "I'll go see-"

**Cas:** "No. Stay."

**Dean:** ". . . .Make me."

**Cas:** ". . . .Do you want me tie you up?"

**Dean:** "Maybe."

. . . . . . .

**Michael:** "Honestly, I'm surrounded by adolescence. No. Lucifer. I'm warning you. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "With what? You're scary Pit threat? Been there, done that. You wanted coffee, right!"

**Michael:** "Lucifer! NO! DON'T! HAHA! YOU MISSED!

**Sam:** "What's goin on in he—aaahhhh! HOT! HOT!"

**Michael:** "Shit."

**Lucifer:** "Oops."

**Chuck:** "Sam, he threw me!"

**Lucifer:** "Only coz all you do is whine and complain!"

**Chuck:** "All you had to do was turn the volume down!"

**Lucifer:** "See how selfish he is?"

**Bobby:** "Look what you guys did!"

**Michael:** "It's not exactly not your fault either."

**Bobby:** "What did I do? Nothing!"

**Michael:** "My thinking was affected with the lack of caffeine you failed to provide me with. Thus, making my judgment wrong."

**Bobby:** "WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT!"

**Michael:** "A simple cup of coffee would have sufficed."

**Sam:** ". . . . ."

. . . . . . .

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .I thought you guys were having make-up sex! This is what you were doing?"

**Sam:** "Lucifer, you're in a time-out. Quiet."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Haha! Sam put you all in a time-out, too!"

**Sam:** "Quiet. Time isn't up, yet."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . . ."

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "Mmmmm. . . . .It's finally quiet."

**Cas:** "See? They didn't need you."

**Dean:** "You did."

**Cas:** "Let's go to sleep. It's really late."

. . . . . .

**Gabriel:** ". . . .My legs hurt."

**Sam:** "Quiet."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . .I'm the fucking devil. . . ."

**Sam:** "Quiet."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . .I'm a grown man. . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . .How could you not see this?"

**Chuck:** "Sorry."

**Gabriel:** "Sammy, my legs hurt!"

**Sam:** "That's it! You're all starting over!"

**Gabriel:** "Aw, man!"

**Lucifer:** "Fuck!"

**Sam:** "Starting over!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I thought time-outs included spanking!"

**Sam:** "Starting over!"


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I don't own the right to Supernatural, maybe in a different dimension I do. . . . does anybody have a TARDIS I can borrow?

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . . . Okay, you guys are done."

**Gabriel:** "Thank Dad! I need to sit before my legs break."

**Michael:** "Me too. . . .I don't see why we had to do it as well, Sam."

**Sam:** "Because you were acting like little kids."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "You made us stand there for two freakin' hours Sam! I need my wheelchair tomorrow. . . .or today. It's two thirty in the morning."

**Chuck:** "Even sitting down, I can't feel my legs guys!"

**Gabriel:** "Are we good now? Sam? Are we good? Even?"

**Sam:** ". . . .Yes. Like Dean, I don't do chick flick moments. Everytime, Gabriel, this will be the argument, the punishment and the make-up sex."

**Gabriel:** "What? Aw, man! There's never gonna be make-up sex? But that's the best part!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "All because of one stupid cup of coffee. . . .geez. . . ."

**Chuck:** "My legs are so numb. I don't think I can move. I don't think I can walk!"

**Sam:** "Lucifer, you can sit now. Time-out is over. . . .Lucifer?"

**Bobby:** "I think he fell asleep."

**Chuck:** "Standing straight up?"

**Michael:** "No, his forehead's leaning against the wall."

**Gabriel:** "Hey! No fair! HE CHEATED!"

**Michael:** "Uh-oh. Gabriel's a stickler for rules. He doesn't like it when someone breaks the rules. He punishes them for it."

**Bobby:** "But he breaks them all the time!"

**Michael:** "Well, he's Gabriel. He's not going to punish himself."

**Sam:** "Man, Lucifer's a heavy sleeper."

**Michael:** "Dad had to clap thunder in his ears to wake him. It takes a lot to wake baby Lucifer up."

**Gabriel:** "Don't worry! I'll wake him up!"

. . . . .

**Dean: **". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean: **". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean: **". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean: **". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean: **". . . .AAAAAAHHH! HUH? WHAT THE FUCK? CAS!"

**Cas:** "Good mor- oh, there's a whole in the wall."

**Dean: **"WHAT THE FUCK? LUCIFER, YOU SONOFABITCH! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BREAKING THROUGH OUR FUCKING WALL? ARE YOU INSANE? WHAT IF YOU LANDED ON US? YOU COULD OF FUCKING DIED, YOU FUCKING MORON!"

**Lucifer:** "I don't know. . . .I don't remember. I think I was in a time-out. . . ."

**Dean:** "OH, I'M GONNA PUT YOU IN A TIME OUT! WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?"

**Cas:** "I can see the others through the hole. Good morning."

**Sam:** "Uhh, hey, Dean. GABRIEL! WHY'D YOU KICK LUCIFER THROUGH THE WALL? WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?"

**Gabriel:** "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to kick him that hard! I was waking him up!"

**Michael:** "Yes you did."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Yeah, I know."

**Chuck:** "Holy shit, that's a big hole. . . ."

**Sam:** "YOU ARE GOING TO FIX THIS WITHOUT YOUR MOJO!"

**Gabriel:** "What? How am I supposed to do that?"

**Sam:** "Figure it out."

**Gabriel:** "Okay, I'm gonna need like ten bottles of glue. Make that super glue."

**Lucifer:** "My bad! Dean! I said, my bad! No! No! Stop throwing oil on me!"

**Dean:** "YOU COULD OF KILLED CAS AND ME YOU IDIOT! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BREAK EVERYTHING?"

**Lucifer: **"No! Not the match! Not the match!"

**Chuck:** "Wow, look how fast Dean is killing the Devil. How come you couldn't have done this before?"

**Bobby:** "Because Dean only gets mad if it's his car, Sam or Cas is in danger. In this case, the danger of stupid ass angels."

**Dean:** "I DON'T THINK YOU GET IT, LUCIFER! YOU JUST SMASHED THROUGH A FUCKING WALL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STAY CALM?"

**Cas:** "Dean, we are waking everybody up."

**Dean:** "Count your blessings, Lucifer. Coz one day, I'm going to chop your dick off and smash you with it until you die. Then everyone is hell will know that the great Devil died by being beaten by his own cock!"

**Michael:** "Help Gabriel fix the wall."

. . . . .

**Sam:** "Where are you going, Dean?"

**Dean:** "Outside. I'm sleeping in the Impala."

**Cas:** "It's better to sleep in a bed, Dean."

**Dean:** "There is no freakin' way in hell I'm stayin' in a motel with those two idiots!"

**Sam:** "There's still room. . . .I think. We can figure it out."

**Dean:** "It's three in the morning, Sam. I can't think straight right now! We're all gonna get like, four hours of sleep. That's pointless. I can handle the Impala. Done it all my life.

**Sam:** "You better not drive off!. . . .'night."

**Dean:** "I won't."

**Cas:** "Will we both be able to fit in the backseat?"

**Dean:** "Oh, I thought you were gonna stay in the motel."

**Cas:** "I'd rather be with you."

**Dean:** "Thanks. . . .And, for your safety, I don't want you staying with 'Beavis and Butthead' in there."

**. . . . . **

**Gabriel:** "Okay, I'm looking for a piece that looks like a llama."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .What about this one?"

**Gabriel:** "No, no, that's a square."

**Lucifer:** "Oh. Do llama's not look like squares?"

**Gabriel:** "NO. Never mind."

**Lucifer:** "What about this one?"

**Gabriel: **"I said never mind! Pass me the glue. What the fuck is that, Lucifer?"

**Lucifer:** "I'm fixing the wall, what does it look like I'm doing?"

**Gabriel:** "A baby trying to fit triangle into a circle! Give me that! Don't just randomly put stuff together!"

**Lucifer:** "Stop being such a control freak! Here's the damn glue!"

**Gabriel:** "Don't throw it! Look what you did! It spilled everywhere!"

**Lucifer:** "Well catch better!"

**Gabriel:** "Didn't you make sure the cap was closed?"

**Lucifer:** "You caught the bottle didn't you?"

. . . . . .

**Bobby:** "Those idjits are never gonna fix the wall."

**Chuck:** "I can tell their trying really hard."

**Sam:** "They better."

**Michael:** "They make a crap team."

**Sam:** "I'll call someone in the morning."

**Chuck:** "Shit, they're probably going to make me pay for it coz the room's under my name. Unless—"

**Michael:** "Lucifer has jack-shit."

**Sam:** "I'm not paying for Gabriel's stupidity. But it feels like it everyday."

**Bobby:** "I don't do donations for hopeless idiots."

**Chuck:** "I don't know about you people, but I'm gonna go sleep. . . . . . . . . . I can't."

**Bobby:** "Dumb and dumber are too loud. I already tried."

**Sam:** "They'll give up sooner or later. Then it'll be quiet."

**Michael:** "They're so loud; it's probably even keeping Dean and Cas awake."

. . . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . .Are you asleep?"

**Cas:** ". . . .No. I can hear talking. . . .or yelling."

**Dean:** "Damnit! I need to sleep!"

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "Hey! I think I found your llama piece!"

**Gabriel:** "That's the same one you picked up the last three times!"

**Lucifer:** "Oh. . . .Is the wall done yet?"

**Gabriel:** "DOES IT LOOK LIKE IT'S DONE YET? NOOO! IT'S NOT!"

**Lucifer:** "Man, someone's grouchy in the morning."

**Gabriel:** "I'm sorry, but, I'm fixing a wall piece by fucking piece instead of sleeping!"

**Lucifer:** "Hey! It wasn't my fault I fell asleep! It made the time pass!"

**Gabriel:** "That's cheating! I hate cheating! I kill—I mean I used to kill people who cheated! So, what I kicked you through a wall! Big deal! You kicked Raphael off a cloud coz he called you a dick!"

**Lucifer:** "Shut up, Gaby!"

**Gabriel:** "Don't call me that!"

**Lucifer:** "Then don't call me Lucy!"

**Gabriel:** "Just fix the damn wall!"

**Lucifer: **"Why? You're the one that broke it!"

**Gabriel:** "You fell through it!"

**Lucifer:** "Coz you kicked me!"

**Gabriel:** "Coz you fell asleep!"

**Lucifer:** "Coz I was bored!"

**Gabriel:** "JUST LEAVE IT!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Is this the llama?"

**Gabriel:** "NO!"

. . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . .I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL THEM!"

**Cas:** ". . . .Back of the line. No cutting."

. . . . . .

**Gabriel:** "You spilled the glue everywhere! No! Don't touch it! Are you that stupid?"

**Lucifer:** "What?"

**Gabriel:** "It's fucking super glue. It'll be stuck to you for life."

**Lucifer:** "But, you're touching it."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .What?"  
**Lucifer:** "It's all over the bottle your holding. . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . . .WORDS CAN EXPRESS HOW MUCH I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW."

**Lucifer: **". . . .my bad."


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural, but you gotta admit I write it very good!

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Heh."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Hehehehe."

**Gabriel:** "What?"

**Lucifer:** "Hahahahaha!"

**Gabriel:** "What?"

**Lucifer:** "HAHAHAHA!"

**Gabriel:** "WHAT? WHAT'S SO FUNNY?"

**Lucifer:** "Hehehehe. Hey, Gaby can you give me a hand?"

**Gabriel:** "SHUT UP."

**Lucifer:** "It's just so funny! You have a glue bottle glued to your hand! Hahaha!"

**Gabriel: **"It's all your damn fault! Everything is always your fault because you are the stupidest angel ever created."

. . . . . .

**Sam:** "It's practically seven in the morning and I never got any sleep."

**Chuck:** "Lucifer and Gabriel are so loud!"

**Michael:** "I hate them so much."

**Bobby:** "Today's gonna suck without any sleep."

**Sam:** "I know. Dean is extra cranky if he doesn't get any sleep."

. . . . . .

**Cas: **"Dean, stay in the car."

**Dean:** "NO. I'm just gonna go talk with them!"

**Cas:** "Talk with your fists, you mean."

**Dean:** "What? I ain't gonna shoot 'em!. . . .That much."

**Cas:** "Dean—"

**Dean:** "Cas, they kept me up all freakin' night with their constant shouting! I even heard them break the wall again! Cas, without any sleep, I cannot function correctly. If I had to shoot you're, and your three inches away, I will still miss!"

. . . . .

**Gabriel:** "SHUT THE FUCK UP! STOP FUCKING LAUGHING!"

**Lucifer:** "No! It's too funny! The great trickster has a bottle stuck to his hand forever!"

**Gabriel:** "You know, what?"

**Lucifer:** "What are you doing? NO! GET AWAY!"

**Sam:** "Guys, you can stop now, we gotta get to the convention—what are you guys doing?"

**Gabriel:** "WAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!"

**Lucifer:** "Gabriel, you asshole! SAM! He glued a llama to my hand!"

**Gabriel:** "Only because he made me glue a bottle to my hand!"

**Lucifer:** "Two wrongs don't make a right, Gabriel!"

**Gabriel:** "What? Don't talk down to me you dick!"

**Lucifer:** "If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say it at all!"

**Sam:** "GET THE FUCK IN THE CAR, YOU FUCKING KIDS!"

. . . . . . .

**Dean:** "You. . . .made. . . .me. . . .lose. . . .sleep. . . .last. . . .night. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Sorry."

**Dean:** "I want to run you over until you are a pancake of a pancake. I'll call it an 'angel cake'."

**Gabriel:** "It's all Lucifer's fault!"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Gabriel:** "It is!"

**Cas: **"You have a bottle stuck to your hand, Gabriel."

**Gabriel:** "Yes, Cas, thank you for pointing that out, I haven't noticed!"

**Sam:** "Don't be a dick to Cas."

**Gabriel:** "Why the fuck is everyone getting mad at me for? I didn't do anything! It's all fucking Lucifer's fault! Everything is! Unleashing demons, starting the apocalypse, killing Cas, fucking 'Jersey Shore' is his fault too! SO WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE ALWAYS MAD AT ME?"

**Dean:** "Shut up, Gabriel. Don't be such a baby."

**Gabriel:** "You know, what? I'm sick of this shit! This is me putting my hand down! . . . . .Ow! Oops."

**Dean:** "DID YOU JUST FUCKING SLAM THAT BOTTLE INTO THE SEAT OF THE IMPALA? OH NO THE FUCK YOU DIDN'T! YOU JUST SPILLED FUCKING GLASS ALL OVER!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .At least it came off."

. . . . . .

**Michael:** "So, let me get this straight. The reason you can't drive, is because Gabriel glued a llama to your hand and you can't take it off?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Yes."

**Chuck:** "Wow, it's pretty on there. Glued on nice and tight."

**Lucifer: **"FUCK!"

**Michael:** "I must be an adopted Angel."

**Chuck:** "How does this look like a llama? It's too square-ish."

**Lucifer:** "No! It's a llama!"

**Bobby:** "You're the biggest idjit I ever met."

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, well, you're the oldest booby I ever saw! And, I've seen a number of boobies!"

**Michael:** "Have you tried burning it off?"

**Lucifer:** "Yeah! Fucking HellFire did shit! I am not going to put fucking HolyFire on my hand! I ain't that dumb!"

**Michael :** "And, you are pretty dumb."

**Chuck:** "This is pretty funny. I mean, the timing's just too perfect."

**Bobby:** "Whaddya mean?"

**Chuck:** "I was able to get guest stars to come to the convention. And, now you're gonna meet them with a square glued to your hand!"

**Michael:** "Like who?"

**Chuck:** "Just wait and see?"

**Lucifer:** "Ooh! Ooh! Is it a llama?"

. . . . . . .

**Sam:** "Hey, did Chuck tell you, he was able to book like important, famous guests for today?"

**Dean:** "Nope. Who?"

**Sam:** "He wouldn't say, but he was so excited. Looked like he was going to pee himself."

**Gabriel:** ". . . . ."

**Cas:** "I wonder who it could be."

**Dean:** "I hope she's hot—I mean, I mean! Cas, no! Redo! Redo! I mean—I hate girls! Yuck."

**Sam:** "You got him on a tight leash, Cas."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "It was an accident! I swear! It's because I'm tired! It won't slip again!"

**Sam:** "I never got any sleep, too."

**Dean:** "Yeah, I know, dumbass here, kept me up all friggin' night."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "I'm so out of it. Gabe?"

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Next time, Dean, don't punch Gabe in the nuts. 'Kay? You knocked him out."

**Dean:** "What can I say? I'm cranky in the morning."

. . . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Hey, guys! Didja see what Gabriel did to Lucifer's hand?"

**Dean:** "He glued a square to it."

**Lucifer:** "LLAMA! It's a llama!"

**Michael:** "It's a fucking square, Lucifer!"

**Bobby:** "Guys, if we stand any longer outside, I'm gonna pass out. I need to sit and sleep."

**Chuck:** "No! You can't sleep! People will think the convention is boring!"  
**Sam:** "So, who are the special people coming?"

**Cas:** "I'm very curious as well."

**Chuck:** "Be patient, they're arriving soon! Uhhh, why is Gabriel standing funny?"

**Sam:** "Because Dean punched him down below."

**Bobby:** "Ouch."

**Dean:** "He broke the bottle in my Impala."

**Lucifer:** "What? He got the bottle unglued? That's not fair! I don't want to be the only one with something glued to his hand! As much as I love the llama-"

**Michael:** "IT'S NOT A LLAMA!"

**Bobby:** "IT'S A SQUARE YAH DAMN IDJIT!"

**Lucifer:** "Whatever! Llama, square same thing! As much as I love it, I hate it on my hand sooo—I'm just gonna smash it-"

**Dean:** "NOOOO! GET AWAY FROM THE IMPA-"

**Lucifer: **"Yay! I can see the palm of my hand again! Oooohh, look how red it got!"

**Cas:** "Serenity is key—"

**Dean:** "AAAAAHHHH!"

**Lucifer:** "It's sooo pretty-aaahhhh!"

**Sam:** "Dean! Get off of him!"

**Gabriel:** "Hit him in the nuts! Hit him in the nuts! Coz that hurts like a bitch!"

**Dean:** "HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES HAVE YOU HURT MY BABY? I'M GONNA STAB YOU, SHOOT YOU, BURN YOU, DROWN YOU, PUNCH YOU, KICK YOU, RIP YOU THE FUCK APART!"

**Sam:** "Dean! Stop strangling him! Leggo!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah! 'Leggo my eggo!'"

**Michael:** "Dean, would you like me to get his pitchfork?"

**Lucifer:** "Ouch, Dean! That really hurts! Why the fuck is no one calling 911? EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!"

**Cas:** "People are starting to watch."

**Chuck:** "What? No, people this isn't part of the show!"

**Dean:** "YOU FUCKING HURT MY BABY EVERY SECOND YOU'RE AROUND!"

**Lucifer:** "Dean! Stop shooting me! It doesn't kill me but it really stings! Oww!"

**Sam:** "Dean! Stop!"

**Lucifer:** "My bad! My bad! EMERGENCY! EMERGENCY!"

**Chuck:** "Oh, hey! Guys! Meet our special guests for today!"

**Dean:** "I'M GONNA FUCKING TEAR YOUR ASS UP, NO WAY GOD AIN'T EVER GONNA FIX YOU! YOU STUPID, MOTHERFUC—oh. . . .my. . . .god."

**Lucifer:** "EMERGENCY! EMERGEN—it's you!"

**Sam:** "Holy shit. . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Jesus. . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . . ."

**Bobby:** "Daaammmnnn. . . ."

**Chuck:** "Say 'hi', guys!"


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Well don't just stand there staring at them with your mouths open! Say something!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Okay, don't then. We'll just meet you guys inside."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

. . . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Sorry about them, guys. I don't know what's wrong with them. Well, what else is what wrong with them besides, like, everything.

**Jensen Ackles:** "It's cool. They're just a little starstuck."

**Jared Padaleki:** "Yeah. We have that kind of effect on people. Especially girls."

**Misha Collins:** "And some guys."

**Jim Beaver:** "We convert them."

**Chuck:** "You mean those three convert them, right?"

**Jim Beaver:** "Excuse me?"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Never mind. Glad you're all here!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Honor is all ours! We're big fans of the books! They're the reason we became part of the show!"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Yeah! Really, inspiring. Better than 'Twilight'!"

**Misha Collins:** "What is 'Twilight'? Nah, nah, just kidding! Hey, are those people outside going to be alright?"

. . . . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Don't worry about them; they've through hell and back!"

**Jensen Ackles: **"Well, I'm gonna go check on them."

. . . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Was that-"

**Sam:** "It looked like them-"

**Lucifer:** "But it can't be-"

**Gabriel:** "Chuck isn't that cool to know them-"

**Michael:** "But it is them-"

**Cas:** "I'm amazed."

**Bobby:** "Hell yeah, I second that."

**Dean:** "Why would they be here?"

**Gabriel:** "Well, duh! It's a 'Supernatural' convention! Guess who they play?"

**Dean:** "No shit!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Hey guys, are you guys oka-"

**Sam:** "Aaahh! I freakin' love you, man! You're such an awesome actor!"

**Jensen Ackels:** "Uh, thanks. You're so kind!"

**Gabriel:** "How do you know Chuck?"

**Jensen Ackles:** "He created 'Supernatual', I wouldn't have a day job if it weren't for him and his books! I guess I owe him a few things."

**Lucifer:** "But, you're too cool for him!"

**Michael:** "Lucifer!"

**Gabriel:** "Hey, how come Richard Speight Jr. wasn't with you guys?"

**Jensen Ackels:** "Oh, he's on his way. He wanted to roll up in a limo. Guy likes to make it big!"

**Gabriel:** "I knew there was a reason I liked him!"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Hi."

**Dean:** "Aaahh! Jared Padaleki! You're my favorite out of everybody!"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Thanks. I try hard to play 'Sam'."

**Dean:** "Well you're the best 'Sam' ever!"

**Sam:** "What? Dean!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Whoa, your name is 'Dean'?"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Like the character? Freaky!"

**Cas:** "Is Misha Collins going to come out?"

**Lucifer:** "He's Cas' favorite!"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Your name is 'Cas', too? Wow."

**Michael:** "Uh, it's short for uh, Cas—tor. Castor. His name is Castor. We call him Cas."

**Jensen Ackles:** "Oh. Well, I'll go get him and Jim."

**Jared Padaleki:** "So, what're the rest of your guys' names?"

**Lucifer:** "I'm Lucif-"

**Sam:** "Lucas! His name is Lucas. And, I'm Sam."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "What? 'Sam' is a very common name!"

**Michael:** "My name is. . . .Mitchell."

**Bobby:** "Rob."

**Gabriel:** "I'm-"

**Lucifer:** "His name is Stanley!"

**Sam:** "What?"

**Gabriel:** "WHAT? Fine! Whatever! I mean—call me Stanley."

**Jared Padaleki:** "Nice to meet you all!"

. . . . .

**Misha Collins:** "Yeah, and there was this psycho chick tryin' to jump me onstage!"

**Chuck:** "Yeah, I crazy fans like that, too!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Hey Mish, Jim, they want to meet you guys outside."  
**Misha Collins:** "Do any of them seem creepy?"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Nope."

**Chuck:** "You're totally wrong!"

**Jim Beaver:** "Huh?"

**Chuck: **"Never mind!"

**Jim Beaver:** "I'm gonna stay and chat with Chuck a little while more."

. . . . .

**Dean:** "Really?"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Yeah. We're shooting season 7 right now."

**Sam:** "That's great!"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "How does season 6 end?"

**Jared Padaleki:** "You know I can't tell you that!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Please? Just a tiny hint?"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "No! Don't spoil it!"

**Jared Padaleki:** "See? Be like Lucas here, he's patient!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Who's Lucas?"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "YOU ARE!"

**Lucifer:** (as Stanley) "Oh, yeah."

**Dean:** "You're so dumb Luc-"

**Cas:** (as Castor) "Aaaahhh! It's Micha Collins!"

**Misha Collins:** "I'm Misha Collins. And, you're not! Nice to meet you. . . .?"

**Cas:** (as Castor) "Cas!—tor. Castor. I'm Castor."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . .Are you sure?"

**Jensen Ackles:** "So, how are you guys?"

**Sam:** "Tired."

**Dean:** "We never got any sleep last night."

**Jensen Ackles:** "Oh. Why not?"

**Misha Collins:** "Probably too excited to see us!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Because dumbass over there fell through a wall."

**Jared Padaleki:** "A wall? Really? How?"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Only because moron over there kicked me through!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Because you fell asleep!"

**Lucifer: **(as Lucas) "What's wrong with that?"  
**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "You cheated! You can't cheat!"  
**Jensen Ackles:** "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Guys, take it easy!"

**Jared Padaleki:** ". . . .You guys remind me of someone. . . .Oh! Stanley, you remind me of Richard's character, 'Gabriel'!"

**Misha Collins:** "Yeah, he does!"

**Lucifer:** (as Stanley) "Well, duh! He is!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Huh? 'Gabriel' is a fictional character, Lucas."

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "Yeah, don't be an idiot!"

**Bobby: **(as Rob) "Lucas here, is a bit of an idiot."

**Misha Collins:** "Hahaha! You guys are so funny!"

**Cas:** (as Castor) "Hey, look. A limo."

**Jared Padaleki:** "That's probably Richard right now."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Aaahh! I can't wait to meet him!"

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Hi, sorry I'm late. Hey, who're your friends—oof! Someone's eager to meet me!"

**Sam:** "Stanley! Get off of him!"

**Gabriel: **(as Stanley) "Aaahhh! I love you so, so SO MUCH! You're like my idol, man!"

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Uh, thanks. Who are you?"

**Dean:** "His name's Stanley. . . .pfft! 'Stanley' what a weird name!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "I heard that! Besides, what kind of name is 'Dean'?"

**Jensen Ackles:** "A cool one."

**Jared Padaleki:** "Nah, 'Sam' is a much better name."

**Sam:** "I know, right?"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "I think 'Lucifer' is the best name of all."

**Bobby:** (as Rob) "Ignore him."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Yeah, Lucas is into the whole 'Satanic' thing."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Who's Lucas?"  
**Dean:** "YOU ARE!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Right."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . .Are YOU sure?"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Dude, you keep like, forgetting your name. . . ."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . .What?"

**Cas: **(as Castor) ". . . ."

**Jensen Ackles:** "Well, I think Jared, Misha, Richard and me should go in now. See you guys later."

**Sam:** "Bye Jensen!"

**Dean:** "Bye Jared!"

**Cas: **(as Castor) "Bye Misha!"

**Gabriel: **(as Stanley) "Bye Richard! You're so sexy!"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Bye."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "See yah."

. . . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Hey, guys."

**Dean:** "Chuck, how the fuck did you get them here?"

**Gabriel:** "Does it matter? They're fucking here!"

**Chuck:** "I met them before. When the show was picking up, I was invited on set multiple times."

**Sam:** "It's like a dream come true!"

**Cas:** "To my leader! THE Misha Collins met me a MishaMinion!"

**Lucifer:** "My name is so hard to remember."

**Bobby:** "NO IT AIN'T!"

**Lucifer:** "I need to write it down somewhere. I NEED A NAME TAG!"

**Chuck:** "I hope you guys didn't embarrass yourselves in front of them!"

**Dean:** "No worries! We we're so smooth! We kept our cool."

. . . . .

**Jensen Ackles:** "Didja hear them scream?"

**Jared Padaleki:** "I know! They're just like every other fangirl!"

**Misha Collins:** "I thought they were! I thought you said they weren't creepy. That Castor guy kept staring at me like how 'Cas' does!"

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "What was up with that guy? He kept forgetting his name."

**Jared Padaleki:** "I don't know. He's a weirdo."

**Jensen Ackles:** "Let's try to avoid them."

**Jared Padaleki:** "Yeah."

**Misha Collins:** "We better tell Jim."

**Richard Speight Jr.: **"Hey, Jim. Beware! There's a bunch of manly fangirls outside!"


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: If I owned the rights to Supernatural, I'd die happy

**Chuck:** ". . . . .So, not only do we have my number 1 fans here-"

**Dean:** "We're not your number 1 fans!"

**Chuck:** "—We have some very special guests here today!"

**Lucifer:** "Oh! Who is it?"  
**Bobby:** "Who do you think, yah damn idjit?"

**Michael:** "Who did we just meet outside?"  
**Lucifer:** "Jared, Jensen—Oooh."

**Chuck:** "We've got the stars of the show 'Supernatural' attending today! They'll be available for autographs and pictures!"

**Sam:** "I'm gonna get Jensen's autograph!"

**Dean:** "Well, I'm gonna get Jared to sign the Impala!"

**Cas:** "But the Impala is black."

**Gabriel:** "I'm gonna get Richard to sign my chest!"

**Sam:** "Really? I don't think he will."

**Bobby:** "Jim's gonna sign my wheel chair."

**Lucifer:** "You don't even use it!"

**Bobby:** "I'm gonna sell it on Ebay."

**Cas:** "Why?"

**Bobby:** "Does it look like hunting has good pay?"

**Chuck:** "—The main event will start in one hour!"

**Sam:** "An hour? What are we supposed to do then?"  
**Chuck:** "Get in line. Before the fangirls rush them."

**Lucifer: **"Do the number 1 fans get to go first?"

**Chuck:** "No! Anyway, I gotta go. I'm signing also."

**Lucifer:** "I don't want your autograph!"

**Cas:** "We better get in line then."

**Michael:** "The line is already out the door."

**Bobby:** "Hey, where are Dean and Gabriel?"

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "Woohoo! Only fifth in line, baby!"  
**Gabriel: **"I think Sam and the others are all the way in the back!"

**Dean:** "They're not smart like us to run in line!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah! I think I pushed some girl to the floor! She was in my way."

**Dean:** "Hey! Zap in a camera!"

**Gabriel:** "Best idea you had all weekend!"

**Dean:** "Take my picture with Jared!"

**Gabriel:** "Only if you take one of me and Richard!"

**Dean:** "Deal!"

. . . . . .

**Bobby: **". . . .How the hell is Dean gonna get Jared to sign the Impala?"

**Sam: **"I see them! They're all the way at the front of the line!"

**Lucifer:** "No fair! No fair!"

**Michael:** "How did they get up there so fast?"

**Sam:** "Coz Dean is the biggest fangirl in the world."

**Lucifer:** "You think they'll let us cut?"

**Michael:** "You know Gabriel hates cheating, Lucifer. Cutting is no different."

**Cas:** "Besides, if Gabriel doesn't kill you for cutting, the other couple hundred fangirls will."

. . . . . .

**Gabriel: **"Yay! Only two more people in front of us! I can them! I can see them! He's soooo sexy!"

**Dean:** ". . . .What are you lookin' at?"

**Fan 3:** "Dunno. You just look a lot like Jensen Ackles."

**Dean:** "Aaaww! That's so sweet! But, I don't think I look anything like him!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, Jensen's waaaay better lookin' than ugly over here."

**Dean:** "Who you callin' ugly, shrimp?"

**Gabriel:** "Who you callin' shrimp, Quasimodo?"

**Dean:** "Shut up!"

**Gabriel:** "Hey! Don't shove me, Chubaca!"

**Dean:** "Don't hit me, Yoda!"

**Gabriel:** "That's it!"

**Dean:** "What you think you can take me?"

**Gabriel:** "Bring it on, bitch!"

. . . . . .

**Sam:** "Yeah, I brought a camera."

**Lucifer:** "You brought a camera to the 'Supernatural ' convention?"

**Sam:** ". . . .So?"

**Lucifer:** "Someone's sooo prepared!"

**Michael:** "At least, he's able to take a picture with Jensen."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Can I borrow the camera?"

**Bobby:** "Here. I got you a name tag from Chuck."

**Lucifer:** "Good. How do you spell 'Lucas'?"

**Bobby:** "The first two letters of your name, then 'cas', idjit!"

**Lucifer:** "Okay. . . . there!"

**Michael: **"I bet Dean and Gabriel got their autographs by now. We're still at the back of the line."

**Sam:**"Nah, there's a dozen people behind us."

**Bobby:** "LUCIFER! Why'd you write 'LUCIFER CAS' on your name tag?"

**Lucifer:** "You said so! You said my name then Cas! I did it."

**Bobby:** "I said the first two letters of your name! NOT YOUR WHOLE NAME! SUPER IDJIT!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .My bad. Can you get me another name tag?"

**Cas:** "Oh, there's Dean and Gabriel now."

**Sam:** "Hey guys! You got your auto-"

**Bobby:** "What's with the security escorts?"

**Dean:** "We got sent to the back of the line. Fucking Frodo here, started a fight!"

**Gabriel:** "You too, Ugly Betty! We were at the front of the fucking line! Now we're all the way at the end!"

**Lucifer:** "Nah-ha! You can't cut, Gaby! That would be cheating!"

**Gabriel:** "Shut up! Go spell your name right!"  
**Lucifer:** "Fuck you!"

**Security Guard:** "Keep it moving guys, back of the line!"  
**Dean:** "We're goin' , we're goin'!"

. . . . . . .

**Jensen Ackles:** "Hey, wasn't that your friends?"

**Chuck:** "NOPE."

. . . . . . .

**Sam:** "Finally! It took freakin' fifty minutes to get to the front!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Oh, hey. It's you guys!"

**Misha Collins:** "Yeah! The crazy fangirls!"

**Sam:** "Can you sign this?"  
**Jensen Ackles:** "Yeah, sure!"

**Bobby:** (as Rob) "Can you sign my wheel chair?"

**Jim Beaver:** "Why do you have a wheel chair if you're standing and walking? You're not gonna sell this, are you?"

**Bobby:** (as Rob) ". . . .Noooo. Wha-What makes you think that?"

**Misha Collins:** "Hey! The guy who stares a lot! What can I do for yah?"

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . . ."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . .Hello?"

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . ."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . .Okkaaayyy. I'll just sign 'to my MishaMinion,'."

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . ."

**Misha Collins:** "Are you that starstruck?"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "Lucas, take our picture."

**Lucifer: **(as Lucas) "Stand close together!. . . . Great! Now, 1. . .2. . .4. . .CHEESE!"

**Sam:** "Thanks!"

**Chuck:** "Dean and Gabriel's gonna be soooo jealous!"

**Sam:** "I should get Dean an autograph. . . ."

**Jared Padaleki:** "Sure, I'll sign something for him."

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "Yes. Maybe I should get Richard to sign something for him too."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Okay! Is this for the guy who got sent to the back of the line?"

**Sam:** "Unfortunately, yes."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Here, 'to my craziest fan'!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "We gotta get going for the main event. Bye guys."

**Chuck:** "Sam, wait for me, I'll be back in a minute. I need to tell you guys something."

**Michael:** "LUCIFER! YOU HAD YOUR THUMB COVERING THE LENSE!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .My bad."

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "WHAT? They stopped signing? Damnit!"

**Gabriel:** "Nooo! I didn't even get to get my chest signed!"

**Dean:** "Don't be an idiot! The second you lift up your shirt, he'll put a restraining order on you!"

**Gabriel:** "Yes, but you need Richard's signature on the paper, which I would have!"

**Dean:** "YOU'RE A DAMN IDIOT!"

**Gabriel:** "What you wanna go again?"

**Dean:** "That wasn't even a fight for me! It was like fighting with a stuffed animal!"

**Gabriel: **"I couldn't even hit straight, your ugliness was blinding!"

**Dean:** "LET'S GO RIGHT NOW!"

**Gabriel:** "Do you want us to get thrown out?"

**Dean:** "Fine. Besides, you'd probably break the Impala."

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, with your hideousness."

**Dean:** "No, you'd probably scratch the door with the ladder you use to get into the car!"

**Sam:** "If you guys don't behave, I won't give you your autographs!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam: **". . . ."

**Dean:** "Fuck it!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah! Fuck Dean! I'd rather be put in a time-out again!"

**Dean:** "Yeah! Me too!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "How the fuck did you pick up chicks in that Back-to-the-Future- car?"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "By being in it! How'd you become an Archangel? Didja give a moving speech that talked about how 'big' you are even though you're tiny?"

**Sam:** "ENOUGH!"

**Gabriel:** "I already said I ain't threatened by time-outs!"

**Dean:** "See! Even Sam thinks you're a small child! Time-outs are for children!"

**Sam:** "FINE, THEN DEAN! BOTH OF YOU WILL DO SOMETHING WORSE!"

**Dean:** "Like what?"

**Gabriel:** "What could be worse than a time-out?"

**Sam:** ". . . ."


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .Ngh."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Urrrrgghhh."

**Dean:** ". . . .Ngggghhh."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Sammy! I can't do this anymore!"

**Sam:** "Starting over!"

. . . . . .

**Michael:** "What are they doing?"  
**Lucifer:** "Hahaha! They look constipated!"

**Bobby:** "Sam is making them do the invisible chair as punishment."

**Chuck:** "I'd hate to be his kid. What a painful punishment."

**Michael:** "Everyone's looking at them."

**Lucifer: **"Well, yeah! Look at all the funny faces they're makin'!"

**Cas: **"What is the invisible chair?"

**Bobby:** "They have to squat like their sitting on a chair. It hurts a buttload on your thighs and calves."

**Cas:** "Oh."

**Chuck:** "How long have they've been doing it for?"  
**Michael:** "Well, five minutes. Sam keeps making them start over."

**Lucifer:** "What a dick to his own brother and boy toy."

. . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Sammy! It hurts!"

**Dean:** "Shut up! He's going to make us-"

**Sam:** "Start over."

**Dean:** "Fuck! Look what you did!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Can I take a break first?"

**Sam:** "No."

**Gabriel:** "But I have to pee."

**Sam:** "Hold it."

**Dean:** "Don't worry, your diaper will catch it."

**Gabriel:** "Shut up!"

**Sam:** "Star-"

**Dean:** "Yeah, yeah! I know!"

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Can I have everyone's attention please?

**Lucifer:** "NO!"

**Michael:** "Quiet!"

**Chuck:** "The main event is gonna start now."

**Gabriel: **"Sam! The main event's gonna start! Can we stop now?"

**Sam:** "No."

**Dean:** "Cas! Help me out! Sam, my legs hurt!"

**Sam: **"START OVER."

**Chuck:** "Can I have the guest stars and number 1 fans please come on stage?"

**Michael:** "What?"

**Lucifer:** "I don't wanna!"

**Bobby:** "Let's go idjits. They're waitin' for us."

**Sam:** ". . . .Fine. Walk."

**Dean:** "Yes! Freedom!"

**Gabriel:** "Sammy, you're like the Devil, you know!"

**Lucifer:** "Hey! I'm the Devil! It says so on my name tag!"

**Michael:** "It's supposed to say LUCAS! Get another name tag!"

**Bobby:** "C"MON!"

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "How well do you know 'Supernatural'?"

**Dean:** "Pretty well."

**Chuck:** "This is a trivia game!"

**Sam:** "I hate game shows and trivia! I got hit in the nuts for a wrong answer! FUCKING GABRIEL!"

**Gabriel:** "Sorry! I couldn't resist!"

**Chuck:** "It's going to be the number 1 fans against the actors of the show!"

**Gabriel:** "We're totally gonna win!"

**Michael:** "We better."

**Chuck:** "Would you like to say a few words to your opponents before we being?"

**Jim Beaver:** "Your name tag says 'llama' on it."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "What was it supposed to say?"  
**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "LUCAS! IT'S SUPPOSED TO SAY LUCAS, YOU DUMBASS CHILD!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Well, Lucas, Lucifer, Llama, they all start with 'L's! It's confusing me!"

**Dean:** "Can we trade Lucas and Stanley for Jared?"  
**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "What? You're lucky to have me!"

**Chuck:** "There's no trading!"

**Bobby:** (as Rob) ". . . . I think we're gonna lose."

**Cas:** (as Castor) "I know. And we lived the damn show."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Y'all should have faith in me and Lucy, here!"

**Sam:** "I ran out."

**Misha Collins:** "Bring it on, kiddies!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!"

**Dean:** "Shut up! Stop freakin' yellin' in my ear!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Then trade seats with Sammy!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "MOVE IT!"

**Dean:** "I said quit yelling!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Shut up! You're yelling too, hypocrite!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Sammy?"

**Dean:** "Uh-oh."

**Sam:** ". . . .You can remove these two seats, please. They won't need them."

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "What demon-"

**Lucifer:** (as Stanley) "Llama! It was a llama!"

**Bobby:** (as Rob) "Shut up!"  
**Jensen Ackles:** "We're so gonna win."

**Jared Padaleki:** "I know."

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "Stop saying llama!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Stop being ugly!"

**Chuck:** "—can mimic a human voice?"

**Dean:** "A Wendi-"

**Lucifer:** (as Stanley) "LLAMA!"

**Chuck:** "Umm, no, that's incorrect."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "A Wendigo."

**Chuck:** "Correct. Point for the actors!"

**Dean:** "Shut the hell up, Luci—cas! Lucas!"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "Now we're losing!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Good job, Richard! You're so smart!"

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Uhhh, thanks?"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Someone's got an admirer!"

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . ."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . ."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . .Guys, he's starin' at me again! It's creepy!"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Hey, before we move on, why are you two squatting? Where's your chairs?"  
**Bobby:** (as Rob) "They're being punished. Sam's makin' them do the invisible chair."

**Jim Beaver:** "Ouch. Those suck."

**Chuck:** "Alright, question 2! What did Cas call Lucifer?"  
**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Ooh! Ooh! He said: 'Ooooohh, Lucifer! You soooooo sexxxxyyyyy!'"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "You stupid, you know that?"

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . .What? I don't recall ever saying that to you."

**Chuck:** "Enh! Wrong answer!"

**Misha Collins:** "Assbutt!"

**Chuck:** "Another point!"

**Dean:** "Just put that name tag over your mouth, Lucas."

. . . . . .

**Sam:** "We never got any right, yet"

**Dean:** "Coz, shithead over there is on our team."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "What?"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "For once, you're all not mad at me!"

**Dean:** "Don't give me a reason to."

**Chuck:** "Next question!"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "Shut up, Chuck. . . ."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "'Kay, guys. Guarantee I'll get the next question right!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "This is so easy."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Are they actually trying?"

**Misha Collins:** "Is there a prize for the winners?"  
**Chuck:** "Uhhh, good karma?"

**Sam:** "That's a shit prize."

**Dean:** "Sam, my legs are numb. Please, can I stop doing it now?"  
**Sam:** "No. I had to put up with all your shit the whole weekend!"

**Chuck:** "What is Dean's favorite flavor of pie?"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "'Cas' flavored!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Well, at least he had the right answer."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Hey! Don't try and trip me! What? You know he's right!"

**Jensen Ackles:** ". . . .Apple?"

**Chuck:** "The score is now, 19 to 0."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Which one are we?"

**Bobby:** (as Rob) "Which one do you think?"

**Sam:** "Oh, man. Stop the bleeding. We should just end this already."

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . ."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . ."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . .STOP STARING AT ME!"

**Chuck:** "Okay finally question! This one is worth 20 points!"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "Lucifer, shut up or I will pick up the table and smash it over your head until a brain grows."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "But what if I know the answer?"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "If we lose, I will shove a llama up your ass."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "The question is. . . ."


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Supernatural rights aren't owned by me

**Chuck:** "The question is-"

**Lucifer: **(as Lucas) "Ooh! Ooh! I know it! I know the answer!"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "He didn't even say the question, yet!"

**Dean:** "Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!"

**Gabriel: **(as Stanley) "But I didn't say anything!"

**Dean:** "Not you! The other stupid ass angel!"

**Sam:** "Dean!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Did you just say 'angel'?"

**Dean:** "Uhhhh, no?"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Yes you did!"

**Misha Collins:** "I think someone's off his meds."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Or forgot to take it this morning."

**Jim Beaver:** "Y'all know that it's just a show, right?"

**Sam:** ". . . .Uhh, yeah. He just forgot to take his meds, that's all."

**Dean**: "WHAT?"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Yeah. He's a retard."

**Dean:** "I'm the sanest out of all of you. . .maybe except Rob. . . ."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Nah, he's just an old, crazy drunk! Calls himself 'Booby' and thinks he gets laid despite his age."

**Chuck:** "—and me?"

**Jensen Ackles:** ". . . ."

**Jared Padaleki:** ". . . ."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . ."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** ". . . ."

**Jim beaver:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) ". . . ."

**Bobby:** (as Rob) ". . . ."

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . ."

**Dean:** "What?"

**Chuck:** "What's the answer?"

**Jensen Ackles:** "What's the question?"  
**Chuck:** "I said it already."

**Misha Collins:** "When?"  
**Chuck:** "Just now."

**Sam:** "Sorry, we never heard it."

**Jim Beaver:** "Can you repeat it?"

**Chuck:** "No."

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "Then how are supposed to answer?"

**Chuck:** "Figure it out."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "What a dick!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Repeat it. NOW."

**Michael: **(as Mitchell) "Or you won't be allowed Upstairs."

**Jared Padaleki:** "Upstairs?"

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Oooh! Kinky!"

**Chuck:** "Fine! Who is hotter between Dean and me?"

**Jensen Ackles:** ". . . ."

**Jared Padaleki:** ". . . ."

**Misha Collins:** ". . . ."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** ". . . ."

**Jim beaver:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) ". . . ."

**Bobby:** (as Rob) ". . . ."

**Cas:** (as Castor) ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "That's the question?"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "What kind of question is that?"

**Chuck:** "A good one!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Dean, of course!"

**Jared Padaleki:** "No contest!"

**Jim Beaver:** "Chuck kind of looks like a Hobo."

**Lucifer:** (as Stanley) "See! Even the 'Not Booby' agrees with me!"

**Chuck: **"Ennnnhhh! Wrong answer!"

**Sam:** "Say it."

**Dean:** "No."

**Sam:** "SAY IT."

**Dean:** "NO!"

**Sam:** "Say it, and I'll let you stop doing the invisible chair."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "OKAY, I'LL SAY IT!"

**Dean:** "No! Get out of here! Fine, Chuck-"

**Chuck:** "Yeeessss?"

**Dean:** "Only because my legs hurt. . . .is better lookin'thenDean. . . ."

**Chuck:** "A little slower, please?"

**Dean:** ". . . .Chuck is better lookin' then Dean, 'kay? But a bigger asshole!"

**Chuck:** "Cor-"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Ennnhhh! Wrong answer! 'Lucifer' is better lookin' then any of you, uglies! Hell, even a llama is better lookin' then Hobo over there!"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "Shut up!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "I mean look at them! All the fake us sittin' over there, my eyes hurt!"

**Cas:** (as Castor) "He doesn't mean you, Misha!"

**Chuck:** "Do you want the points or not?"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Fuck the points!"

**Dean:** "Hehehe. 'Fuck the police!'"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "They don't mean shit! Shove it up your ass, Hobo!. . . .Didn't turn out how you were expectin' didja?"

**Dean:** "Sam!"

**Sam:** "Okay, okay. You can stop."

**Dean:** "YES! Ground! Oh, ground! I love you, ground! My legs love you soooo much! Carpeting is my new bestest friend!"

**Gabriel:** "What about me, Sam? What about me?"

**Sam:** "No."

**Gabriel:** "What if I said Sam is better lookin' then Gabriel?"

**Sam:** "It's irrelevant. I already know that!"

**Gabriel:** "Cocky much?"

**Sam:** ". . . .Very much. But, you already know that."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Now THAT was kinky!"

**Misha Collins:** "More than finding my boxers in your trailer!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "Whoa! Mish, Rich, something you're not tellin' us?"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Care to share with the rest of the class?"

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "Hey! You're the one that put them there! I didn't steal them!"

**Misha Collins:** "I'm just sayin' I lost my boxers and found them in your trailer. . . ."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "No, no, no! I found a 'BANANA HAMMOCK' in my trailer, not boxers. . . .I guess they were yours, Mish. Right up your alley, huh?"

**Misha Collins:** ". . . .Fuckball."

**Jim Beaver:** "I bet you're glad, you're not us, huh?"

**Bobby:** "No. I'm sorry that you are us."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Yeah, you're all posers."

**Jensen Ackles:** "We're actors, not posers!"

**Misha Collins:** "You're the posers! You actually think the characters we play are real!"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Uhhh, hello! If it weren't for us, you'd have no character to play!"

**Dean:** "Do you know how many damn times we saved the whole world's ass?"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Hey! I wouldn't have killed the WHOLE world. I would've saved the llamas!"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "A world ruled by llamas and you. Sounds like Hell."

**Lucifer: **(as Lucas) "Sounds like Heaven!"

**Chuck:** "That's okay, just ignore me. Ignore the host and who won!"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "What's up with you and llamas, anyway? You've never even seen one!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "So? You CLAIM you're straight, but you've never even seen titties! Or even a woman naked!"

**Michael:** "Whoa, bitch, whoa!"

**Dean:** "Hehehe. 'Yahhh, bitch, yahh!' Soulja Boy!

**Chuck:** ". . . .I didn't mean it! Don't ignore me! Now, the audience is starting to ignore me!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Well, FYI, that means 'for your information'-"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "I know what it means!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "They play the characters really good!"

**Jared Padaleki:** "Yeah, but not better than us!"

**Jensen Ackles:** "No, of course not! Don't be silly!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "When I was fixing the wall with Gaby-"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "SHIT. Sammy! I need to go! I'm gonna be killed!"

**Sam: **"START OVER."

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "—he wanted me to pass him a piece shaped like a llama. And the llama looked nice. I like llamas now!"

**Michael:** "Gabriel-Stanley, huh?. . . ."

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Fuck, fuck, fuck. . . .Sammy if you love me, you'll let me go!"

**Michael:** (as Mitchell) "So, you're the one who got Lucas addicted to llamas, huh?"

**Gabriel:** (as Stanley) "Sammy! Don't let him kill me!"

**Misha Collins:** "Dude, you're guy looks like he's about to get pwned."

**Richard Speight Jr.:** "I know! We have such good seats!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Oh, hey! We won, right? 20-19, right?"

**Chuck:** "Finally, acknowledgement! Yes, you win!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "What's my prize?"

**Cas:** (as Castor) "Can it be Misha?"

**Chuck:** "I told you, good karama!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "Read the name tag, it says 'DEVIL'. Karma does shit for the fucking Devil. I want a llama."

**Chuck:** "I don't have a llama!"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "FIGURE IT OUT."

**Bobby:** (as Rob) "You spelled Devil wrong. Where the fuck did you get a Q from? AND A Z?"

**Lucifer:** (as Lucas) "It's silent. Like in 'Zebra'."

**Bobby:** (as Rob) "You're a whole new level of dumbass, you know."

**Lucifer: **(as Lucas) "Thanks!"


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

Note: I wanted to keep this fic going so this is more of a transition chapter then a LOL one. Sorry for the lack of funnies.

**Dean:** "Is this convention over yet?"

**Sam:** "I don't know."

**Dean:** "Coz last time I thought it was over, yeaahhh, I was wrong."

**Lucifer:** "I don't want it to be over!"

**Gabriel:** "I do."

**Michael:** "Me too."

**Lucir asfer:** "I like family road trips!"

**Gabriel:** "This is a family?"

**Dean:** "Since when is Gabriel a part of the family?"

**Sam:** "Since he saved your ass."

**Lucifer:** "Is Chuck done, yet?"

**Bobby:** "No."

**Cas:** "Where is Chuck?"

**Bobby:** "On the phone."

**Cas:** "Why?"

**Bobby:** "What's with you and all the questions? I like the quiet Cas better."

**Lucifer:** "He's on the phone talkin' to some farter."

**Dean:** "What?"

**Michael:** "Farmer. FARMER!"

**Lucifer:** "Whatever! He's gettin' me my prize!"

**Sam:** "Wasn't this a group effort?"

**Gabriel:** "Do we all get prizes?"

**Bobby:** "Only if you death-threat Chuck."

**Lucifer:** "I said I'd stick him in a room with a TV that only plays 'Twilight' for eternity."

**Dean:** "Woo! Team Jacob!"

**Sam:** "Really? Dean, really?"

**Dean:** "Hey, you think Chuck can get me Taylor Lautner?"

**Lucifer:** "Who's she?"

**Michael:** "I want Lucifer to be tied to the llama going in the opposite direction of me."

**Gabriel:** "I want Sam smothered in chocolate!"

**Sam:** "I want a new laptop. Maybe the iPad."

**Gabriel:** "I can be your laptop."

**Dean:** "I want Gabriel to be catapulted back into Heaven."

**Bobby:** "I want a-"

**Lucifer:** "A brain? A heart? Some courage?"

**Bobby:** "A gun that kills Angels named 'Lucifer'."

**Dean:** "What do you want, Cas?"

**Cas:** ". . . . .Less brothers."

**Gabriel:** "Aw! I'm insulted, Cassie!"

**Lucifer:** "You only mean Gabriel and Michael, right?"

**Michael:** "You're sooo mean."

**Cas:** "Do you know how much birthdays I have to remember?"  
**Chuck:** "Okay. I got you your llama."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** . . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .What?"

**Lucifer:** "Well, where the fuck is it!"

**Chuck:** "It's not here! You gotta go pick it up."

**Lucifer:** "Yaaayy! Another road trip!"

**Dean:** ". . . .What the fuck, Chuck? You got him a llama?"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Yeah. You never know when you might need a llama."

**Dean:** "No you don't! I don't wake up in morning thinking 'I'm gonna need a llama'!"

**Sam:** "Well, Chuck is Chuck. I mean, didn't you tell me, in the future, Chuck told you to hoard toilet paper?"

**Chuck:** "What? I never said that!"

**Lucifer:** "Soooo! Who wants to come with me to pick up my llama?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "I'm actually, uhhh, busy with. . . .things."

**Sam:** "I'm going back to college. I swear."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I have sleeping to do, with Samm-"

**Bobby:** "I'm wheelin' myself home."

**Michael:** "NO."

**Chuck:** "Uhhhh. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "LIES! Y'all have no lives! You ain't busy! How's about Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide if you all come or not?"

**Gabriel:** "Sure."

**Dean:** "I'll do it!"

**Lucifer:** "Deal! Rock-"

**Dean:** "—Paper-"

**Sam:** "NO! Not Dean! Not Dean! He always does-"

**Lucifer:** "—Scissors!"

. . . . .

**Sam:** "I hate you so much."

**Dean:** "Shut up."

**Gabriel:** "On the road again!"

**Sam:** "Shut it, Gabe."

**Gabriel:** "Think of it as a hunt!"

**Dean:** "Yes, were hunting killer llamas."

**Cas:** ". . . .Do llamas kill?"

**Dean:** "I'm not even gonna answer that."

**Sam:** "Where are we goin'?"

**Dean:** "Dunno. We're followin' Chuck's car this time."

**Gabriel:** "Be a leader, not a follower."

**Dean:** "Touch anything and you die, got it?"

**Sam:** "He won't. Trust me."

**Gabriel:** "What does this button do?"

**Dean:** "Shoots holy oil and fire."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Liar."

**Dean:** "Wanna bet?"

**Gabriel:** "Can I roll down my window?"

**Dean:** "NO! You broke it last time."

**Gabriel:** "I won't this time."

**Sam:** "What are you doing?"

**Gabriel:** "There's a lever right there."

**Sam:** "No! Don't pull it! It lower's Dean's se-"

**Dean:** "Wha? Aaah!"

**Gabriel:** "Whoops. Oh, hey Dean-o! I can see the front of your face now!"

**Dean:** "I can reach better too. Guess what's at arm's length?"

**Gabriel: **"Aaaahh!. . . . ."

**Sam:** "I thought I told you to not hit him in the nuts anymore!"

**Dean:** "He brought it on himself."

**Sam:** "Hey, where'd Cas go?"

**Dean:** "Ain't he holding the wheel?"

**Sam:** "No."

**Dean:** ". . . .Uh-oh."

**Sam:** "Lift up! Lift your seat up!"

**Dean:** "It won't! It's stuck! Grab the wheel, Sam!"

**Sam:** "You're in the way!"

**Dean:** "My seat belt won't unbuckle! I'm stuck layin' down!"

**Sam:** "Aaaaaahh!"

**Dean:** "Aaaaahh!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "What color is my llama?"

**Michael:** "You don't even know what a llama looks like!

**Lucifer:** "Can it be purple?"

**Bobby:** "It ain't Barney!"

**Lucifer:** "What's a 'Barney'?"

**Cas:** "It's a purple dinosaur."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Why's you pop in here?"

**Cas:** "I'm saving myself."

**Chuck:** "From what?"

**Bobby:** "There's a river up ahead. Turn here."

**Lucifer:** "Hey! No backseat driving!"

**Michael:** "There should be no front seat driving for you!"

**Bobby:** "Look, if you didn't turn you'd drive us straight into the river."

**Michael:** "Whoa. What was that? It just like zoomed by us."

**Bobby:** "It was a nice black car. . . .was that the Impala?"

**Chuck:** "Aren't they supposed to be following us?"

**Lucifer:** "Don't they know there's a river down there?"

**Michael:** "Go back."

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "I guess they didn't know there was a river."

**Bobby:** "The Impala is officially dead now."

**Chuck:** "I guess Dean's a worst driver than Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "Go for a nice swim, Sam?"

**Sam:** "Don't just stand there! Help me! Gabriel weighs a lot for a short guy! And, Dean's trapped in his seat and the car is sinking!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .I'll pass."

**Chuck:** "I can't swim."

**Bobby:** "That water looks digusting."

**Sam:** "Guys! Dean's fucking drowning!"

**Dean:** "Thanks for the help, FAMILY!"

**Sam:** "How's you get out?"

**Dean:** "I had to freakin' cut myself loose. Where the hell did you go?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "He said he was saving himself."

**Dean:** "Thanks for not saving me."

**Cas:** "Do I look like an Angel bus service?"

**Dean:** ". . . .You're a bad guardian angel."

**Sam:** "Wake up!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . . ."

**Lucifer:** "I think he died."

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Lucifer:** "Want me to give him mouth-to-mouth?"

**Gabriel:** "You just need a reason to kiss me, dontcha? It's okay, I know I taste sweet like candy and strawberries!"

**Sam:** "I guess you're alright, then."

**Gabriel:** "Are you kidding? My family jewels hurt a buttload!"

**Dean:** "We almost died! I almost drowned because of you! And my car is sinking into the river!. . . .MY BABY!"

**Sam:** "Dean!"

**Bobby:** "Don't be an idjit! You can't pull it out of the river!"

**Dean:** "So, I'm supposed to just leave my Baby here?"

**Chuck:** "I'll call a tow-truck."

**Dean:** "My Baby's gonna miss me!"

**Gabriel:** "Your baby's a CAR, Dean."

**Dean:** "IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! WHENEVER YOU'RE ANYWHERE NEAR THE CAR, SOMETHING GOES WRONG! YOU AND YOUR STUPID CURIOSITY! I ALMOST DROWNED AND MY BABY IS STUCK IN THE FUCKING RIVER! YOUR FAMILY JEWELS HURT A BUTTLOAD? MY FUCKING CAR HURTS A BUTTLOAD EVERYTIME YOU TOUCH IT!"

**Lucifer:** "For once, it wasn't me who damaged that fugly car."

**Sam:** ". . . .If the Impala is gone, we have to share that one car."

**Michael:** "It can't hold eight people!"

**Dean:** "IT WON'T HAVE TOO! GABRIEL IS FUCKING DEADER THAN DEAD!"

**Gabriel:** "Hey, Lucy, lend me some of that insurance!"


	20. Chapter 20

Note: Hi!

**Bobby:** "So, how are we all gonna fit?"

**Michael:** "This car fits two, maybe three in the back and two upfront."

**Lucifer:** "This car is gonna be so stuffed."

**Gabriel:** "This sucks."

**Dean:** "It's your fault."

**Lucifer:** "Well, I'm driving!"

**Dean:** "What? I'm driving."

**Lucifer:** "You drive the Impala. This isn't the Impala. Impala went bye-bye."

**Sam:** "He's got a point."

**Dean:** "Whose side are you on? Besides, I don't want HIM to drive me!"

**Lucifer: **"What? I'm an awesome driver!"

**Dean:** "Do you know how many times you crashed the car?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .It's in the low hundreds. Yeah, well, whoever gets in first!"

**Dean:** "Hey!"

**Gabriel:** "I volunteer to give up my seat!"

**Sam:** "Then where are you gonna sit?"

**Gabriel:** "On your lap!"

**Dean:** "No way in hell, Gabriel!. . .I was in first, Lucifer!"

**Lucifer:** "No, you weren't!"

**Dean:** "Ah! Quit shoving, you sonofabitch!. . . .Don't you touch Sam!"

**Lucifer:** "Ha! I'm sitting first!"

**Dean:** "Damnit!"

**Gabriel:** "I'll sit on Sam, and Cas can sit in Dean!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "I think we should put Gabriel in the trunk. He's small enough."

**Michael:** "I get to sit upfront with Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "No."

**Michael:** "Too bad."

**Lucifer:** "You too bad! Chuck's already next to me."

**Michael:** "What?. . . .Get out of the car, Chuck!"

**Chuck:** "No! The early bird gets the worm!"

**Michael:** "Yeah? Well. . . ."

**Chuck:** "Aaahh!"

**Michael:** "The second mouse gets the cheese. My seat."

**Dean:** "I don't get it! Why there's three friggin' Archangels present and Cas, why can't you just zap us? Or fix the Impala?"

**Sam:** "Yeah, I always wondered that."  
**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** "Because we-"

**Lucifer:** "No don't say it!"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Something's are better left unknown."

**Bobby:** "Just spit it out, yah idjits."

**Dean:** "Well?"

**Cas:** "Because we got cut off from Heaven."

**Sam:** "What?"

**Gabriel:** "Dad cut us off. Just for a week, though!"

**Dean:** "Like what? You're grounded or something?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Oh."

**Bobby:** "He treats y'all like children."

**Lucifer: **"Only coz I started the apocalypse. . . .and killed like, a lot of my brothers. It's not like I did weed or anything!"

**Michael:** "I think it's because I stole Lucifer's pointy stick."

**Cas:** "I also killed some brothers."

**Sam:** "What about you?"

**Gabriel:** "What can I say? I've always been a bad boy, Sammy!"

**Dean:** "Geez. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I think I need to be punished, Sammy!"

**Sam:** ". . . .You want another time-out?"

**Gabriel:** "NO! I WASN'T THAT BAD!"

**Lucifer:** "Can we please go already?"

**Bobby:** "What's the hurry? You're llama ain't gonna die."

**Michael:** ". . . .Huh."

**Chuck:** "What?"

**Michael:** "I never noticed how small Chuck is."

**Sam:** "I guess we can squeeze him up front. He can in between Lucifer and Michael."

**Lucifer:** "Aaaww! It's gonna smell like Hobo upfront."

**Bobby:** "So that leaves, me, Sam, Dean, Cas and Gabriel in the back."

**Dean:** "What about Sam, then me, then Cas and then you?"

**Gabriel:** "Hey! What about me?"

**Dean:** "In the trunk. Or tied to the roof."

**Lucifer:** "Ooh! Ooh! I wanna be tied to the roof!"

**Michael:** "Then Chuck will drive, since he knows where we're going."

**Dean:** "Why do you wanna be tied to the roof?"

**Lucifer:** "Coz it'll feel like flying! And I'll sing 'Wind Beneath My Wings'!"

**Dean:** "Fine. Whatever."

**Lucifer:** "Yes!"

**Bobby:** ". . . .Weirdo idjit."

**Dean:** "So, now Bobby can sit upfront with Chuck and Michael."

**Sam:** "It's still gonna be cramped in the back. . . .I guess Gabriel can-"

**Dean:** "Don't say it, Sam."

**Sam:** "What other choice do we have, Dean?"

**Dean:** "No means no Sam!"

. . . . .

**Sam:** "Move your hand, Gabe."

**Gabriel:** "I'm not doing anything!"

**Dean:** "I swear to God Gabriel-"

**Cas:** "It is unwise to swear to God, Dean."

**Gabriel:** "Yeah! My Dad hates it when I do it!"

**Dean:** "Because he hates you!"

**Gabriel:** "Daddy loves me! Well, more than Lucifer."

**Dean:** "Oh yeah? Is that why he grounded your ass?"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Shut up."

**Bobby:** "Do you even know where we're going?"

**Chuck:** "Yes."

**Michael:** "Are you sure?"

**Chuck:** ". . . .No."

**Dean:** "This is gonna be a long ride."

**Lucifer:** "Wheeeeeeeeee!"


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural and thank god I don't own the rights to song lyrics I used. . . .and quotes from the Bible

Note: Sorry, it's been so long since I updated, I got swamped with homework. It wasn't writer's block, strangely, I don't get that.

**Dean:** "What the fuck kind of music is this?"

**Chuck:** "The good kind."

**Dean:** "It sucks."

**Chuck:** "It's normal, mullet music freak."

**Dean:** "Hey!"

**Sam:** "Gabe! Move your hand!"

**Gabriel:** "Fine."

**Sam:** ". . . .Your OTHER hand."

**Gabriel:** "It's not hurting you!"

**Sam:** "Just move it!"

**Michael:** "Just keep going north."

**Chuck:** "Okay."

**Bobby:** "We've only been going north."

**Michael:** "I'm following what the compass says."

**Chuck:** "The compass is always right."

**Bobby:** "Not if there's a magnet near."

**Dean:** "Why do you have that?"

**Gabriel:** "Hehehehe."

**Sam:** "Put that magnet away, Gabe!"

**Gabriel:** "But it says 'I heart Wincest'!"

**Sam:** "PUT IT AWAY!"

**Dean:** "THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!"

**Bobby:** "Great. Now, since idjit had a magnet it probably screwed up the compass."

**Michael:** "No. I don't think it did. The arrow still points north."

**Chuck:** "Good."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Wait, which arrow are you looking at?"

**Michael:** "This one."  
**Bobby: **"THAT ARROW ALWAYS POINTS NORTH!"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Shit."

**Michael:** "I meant this arrow. . ."

**Chuck:** "Okay, where are we?"

**Dean:** "This sucks."

**Cas:** "What sucks?"

**Dean:** "What we got ourselves into."

**Cas:** ". . . .We're in a car."

**Sam:** "It's okay. All we need to do is—MOVE YOUR HAND—find a road sign or something."

**Gabriel:** "I didn't do nothing!"

**Dean:** "Hey! Idiot on the roof! Can you see a sign?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .Hello?"

**Lucifer: **". . . ."

**Michael:** "I think he hit his head on a low branch."

**Chuck:** "Don't we have a map?"

**Bobby:** "Nope."

**Michael:** "We had one, but I threw it out the window."

**Chuck:** "Why?"

**Michael: **"Cos I didn't agree with it."

**Chuck:** "Well, we're someplace in the continental US."

**Dean:** "Nooo. We're on Mars, dumbshit."

**Cas:** "We are on Earth, Dean."

**Dean:** ". . . .I know that, Cas."

**Gabriel:** "Ahahaha! Cas is getting' funny again!"

**Sam:** "The convention was in Wisconsin. . . ."

**Michael:** "Wisconsin is worst than Hell. . . ."

**Chuck:** "If we've been going north the whole time we're probably in. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Alaska."

**Dean:** "Shut up, Wincest freak!"

**Bobby:** "We're in Canada. Fucking Canada."

**Sam:** "How did we pass the border?"

**Gabriel:** "Pssht. Mounties and their high horses. Besides, I made the horses. Not Poseidon, what a mooch. He stole all the credit, Sammy!"

**Sam:** "What did you do to the mounties?"

**Gabriel:** "Nothing! But I did move my hand! Aren't you proud of me?"

**Dean:** "Just turn around."

**Chuck:** "Okay hold on."

**Cas:** "Is Canada bad?"

**Dean:** "No! They have Canadian Bacon!"

**Gabriel:** "Thinking with your stomach again?"

**Sam:** "Gabe, why did you move your hand back?"

**Dean:** "STOP TOUCHING HIM ALREADY!"

**Gabriel:** "Stop yelling! All you do is yell, yell, yell, YELL!"

**Dean:** "And all you do is molest Sammy and annoy the crap out of me!"

**Gabriel:** "This might be hard for you to hear, Dean-o. But, Sammy is a big boy now, so stop being an overprotective brother and BACK THE FUCK OFF."

**Dean:** "Stop trying to act like a grownup, with grownup relationships, and grownup problems. When I know you're just a runaway angel kid, who cries when he doesn't get his way. SO GROW THE FUCK UP."

**Sam:** "Can both of you just SHUT UP?"

**Bobby:** "Where are we headed Chuck?"

**Chuck:** "We gotta go to Texas, that's where I bought the llama."

**Dean:** 'Aww! I love Texas!"

**Sam:** "Me too!"

**Gabriel:** "Me four! No, three!"

**Dean:** "Get outta here, Gabriel."

**Cas:** "Arizona is far from here."

**Michael:** "It's going to be a long ride."

**Chuck:** "We gotta go back through Wisconsin."

**Gabriel:** "You think they'll sell anymore cool magnets?"

**Sam:** "No, no more magnets!"

**Cas:** "I have a magnet too. It says 'Cas plus Dean'"

**Dean:** "Aaaww!"

**Gabriel:** "I mean, c'mon! Mine's is sooo much better!"

**Chuck:** "Is Lucifer still out?"

**Bobby:** "Well, he's been oddly quiet."

**Michael:** "I hope he's out the whole trip."

**Chuck:** "I can't believe that the Devil was taken out by a stick."

**Bobby:** "Must've been some branch."

**Michael:** "I like trees now. Well, that tree."

**Dean:** "Can you please change the radio station?"

**Chuck:** "Fine."

**Dean:** "I don't like this station."

**Chuck:** "Not many work. It's either this one or the one that preaches the Bible."

**Michael:** "No. I don't wanna hear that crap."

**Sam:** "Did you just call the Bible crap?"

**Dean:** "Yeah, isn't that like, sacred and holy?"

**Michael:** "Yeah, uh-uh. Lucifer wrote half of it."

**Sam:** "Seriously?"

**Gabriel:** "If you could read his handwriting. And he couldn't spell for shit."

**Dean:** "Wow."

**Chuck:** "Oh! I got this station to work! What song is it?"

**Radio:** "Ohh Wooaahhh. . . ."

**Dean:** "That's such a high voice!"

**Radio:** "Ohh Wooaahhh. . . ."

**Sam:** "This sounds like. . . ."

**Radio:** "Ohh Wooaahhh. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "This is a chick singin'?"

**Radio: **"You know you love me, I know you care, just shout whenever and I'll be there-"

**Sam:** "Aaahh! Turn it off!"

**Dean:** "This song's on the tip of my tongue. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I love this song!"

**Radio:** "—And I was like-"

**Dean:** "Hold on, I almost got it. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"

**Radio:** "—Like-"

**Lucifer:** "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"

**Radio:** "—Like-"

**Lucifer:** "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH! I THOUGHT YOU'D ALWAYS BE MINE! MINE. . . ."

**Dean:** "Yeah. . . .I have no clue."

**Michael:** "I guess, Lucifer's awake."

**Lucifer:** "OH FOR YOU, I WOULD'VE DONE WHATEVER AND I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE WE AIN'T TOGETHER-"

**Sam:** "I hate this song!"

**Gabriel:** "AND I WANNA PLAY IT COOL BUT I'M LOSIN' YOU-"

**Lucifer:** "I'LL BUY YOU ANYTHING, I'LL BUY YOU ANY RING-"

**Bobby:** "This sucks major balls."

**Michael:** "This is his second favorite song."

**Chuck:** "It's the only station that works."

**Dean:** "I don't know what it's called!"

**Cas:** "Is it sung by a girl?"

**Dean:** "Sounds like it. Oh! Is it Brittany Spears?"

**Sam:** "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"

**Gabriel:** "—And I was like-"

**Lucifer:** "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"

**Gabriel:** "—Like-"

**Lucifer:** "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH!"

**Gabriel:** "—Like-"

**Lucifer:** "BABY, BABY, BABY, OOH! I THOUGHT YOU'D ALWAYS BE MINE! MINE. . . ."

**Dean:** "Man, it's pretty catchy."

**Sam:** "NO IT ISN'T!"

**Bobby:** "Aaww, they sound like they're bonding."

**Michael:** "I don't wanna bond with them."

**Chuck: **"I like the Luda part. . . .Why the fuck is Luda in it, anyway? He's the shit, why's he singing this shit?"

**Dean:** "Can you wrap?"

**Chuck:** "Find out. . . .WHEN I WAS 13 I HAD MY FIRST LOVE. THERE WAS NOBODY THAT COMPARED TO MY BABY AND NOBODY CAME BETWEEN US, NO ONE COULD EVER COME ABOVE-"

**Bobby:** "Enh, nothing special."

**Sam:** "I'm turning the channel!"

**Radio:** "—She had me going crazy, oh I was starstruck—I looked up and saw a white horse. Its rider carried a bow, and a crown was placed on his head. He rode out to win many battles and gain victory."

**Gabriel:** "Is this the Bible station?"

**Lucifer:** "Hey! I liked that song!"

**Radio:** "And another horse appeared, a red one. Its rider was given a mighty sword and the authority to remove peace from the earth. And there was war and slaughter everywhere."

**Lucifer:** "Heeeyyy. . . .this sounds familiar. . . ."

**Cas:** "This is the Book of Revelations."

**Dean:** "It's the fucking Horseman. I owned all their asses! 'Cept Death, of course."

**Cas:** "And Pestilence."

**Dean:** "Just ruin my moment."

**Sam:** "I did famine."

**Dean:** "SHUDDAUP!"

**Radio:** "And I looked up and saw a black horse, and its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand."

**Sam:** "Beats the other station."

**Radio:** "And I looked up and saw a horse whose color was pale green like a corpse. And Death was the name of its rider, who was followed around by the grave."

**Dean:** "Technically, it was a black car and it was SWEET. Oh, and he likes Chicago pizza."

**Bobby:** "Huh."

**Michael:** "It sounds familiar, Lucifer, BECAUSE YOU WROTE IT!"

**Lucifer:** "I did?. . . .Oh yeah. . . .It was my creative writing story. . . . Sold a lot of copies!"

**Chuck:** "Ho, my gospel's gonna sound so badass!"

**Gabriel:** "Boring! I'm changing it back!"

**Radio:** "And when the Lamb broke the fifth seal—Your world is my world, and my fight is your fight-"

**Gabriel:** "AND MY BREATH IS YOUR BREATH, AND YOUR HEART-"

**Sam:** "What is this? A fucking torturous marathon?"

**Lucifer:** "One Time sucks, it's not Baby!"

**Bobby:** "I was listening to that."

**Radio:** "Let me tell you one time—Then I saw an angel come down from heaven with the key to the bottomless pit and a heavy chain in his hand."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

Radio: "He seized the dragon—that old serpent, the Devil, Satan—and bound him in chains for a thousand years."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Radio:** "The angel threw him into the bottomless pit, which he then shut and locked so Satan could not deceive the nations anymore until the thousand years were finished."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Awkward!"


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

Note: Sorry, it took so long to update. I've been thinking about doing a Supernatural Doctor Who crossover. Oh, and sorry it's a short chapter, I'm waiting for Vampire Diaries to start. . .For the previous chapter, I think I'm going to hell, because I put Justin Beiber and the Bible in one sentence.

**Lucifer:** "CAN WE PLEASE NOT LISTEN TO THE BIBLE STATION, ANYMORE?"

**Dean:** "Quit yellin'!"

**Sam:** "He's on the roof, Dean."

**Michael:** "Why? Does it offend you?"

**Lucifer:** "YES. I WAS NOT WRAPPED IN CHAINS!"

**Gabriel:** "Or taken down by Michael. I, the superior brother did. With no weapons, no sword, just a tiny, little banana peel."

**Sam:** "If you don't move your exploring hand, I'm gonna chop it off."

**Gabriel:** "Can you bite it off, instead?"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I'm kidding! I'm kidding!. . . .No, really? Can you?"

**Chuck:** "Am I going the right way?"

**Michael:** "Can you stop asking that?"

**Chuck:** "I'm just making sure!"

**Bobby:** "There's only one road and we're on it!"

**Dean:** "Welcome to the family, Cas."

**Cas:** "Thank you, Dean."

**Dean:** "It was meant as a warning."

**Cas:** "Oh. I did not understand it."

**Dean: **"I know."

**Gabriel:** "OW! Did you have to bite that hard?"

**Sam:** "I warned you. Plus, you wanted it."

**Gabriel:** "I meant a lovebite! A lovebite!"

**Sam:** "Well, your hand finally moved."

**Gabriel:** "Owww, what do you have, demon teeth?"

**Lucifer:** "MORE LIKE THE ANTICHRIST TEETH."

**Sam:** "I'm not the Antichrist!"

**Lucifer:** "YOU ARE TO ME."

**Gabriel: **"You're not the Devil to me. You're just my big, stupid, cuddly, older brother!"

**Lucifer:** "SCREW YOU, ASSHOLE. YOU'RE JUST MY SHORT, DWEEBY, BABY BROTHER."

**Dean:** "You know it's your side of the family that's fucked up."

**Cas:** ". . . .I know."

**Chuck:** "Are you su-"

**Bobby:** "Say it one more time, you're going to wake up at the bottom of the ocean."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **"You're more like the Devil, then Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "HEY! THE DEVIL CANNOT BE AN OLD, WRINKLED BOOBY! THAT'S JUST WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS."

**Gabriel:** "Did we pack any chocolate?"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Where's the chocolate I told you bring?"

**Sam:** ". . . .Oops?"

**Gabriel:** "WHAT? YOU FORGOT TO PACK MY CHOCOLATE?"

**Sam:** "Calm down, we'll stop at a gas station or a mini mart."

**Gabriel:** "BUT THAT COULD BE A 100 MILES FROM NOW!"

**Dean:** "Shuddaup. Stop actin' like a friggin' eight year old."

**Sam:** "Hey! Gabriel move your hand again! Do you want me to bite it with my NORMAL teeth?"

**Lucifer:** "ANTICHRIST."

**Gabriel:** "Well, you know what, Dean-o?"

**Dean:** "Hey, what are you doin' with my bacon cheeseburger?"

**Gabriel:** "Oops. I accidentally dropped it out the window. My bad, Dean-o."

**Dean:** "You're DEAD!"

**Cas:** "It's best not if you jump him, Dea-"

**Dean:** "Aaaahhh!

**Gabriel:** "Aaaahhh!"

**Sam:** "Aaaahhh!"

**Gabriel:** "Aaah! Get off me, Dean!"

**Dean:** "That was my burger, you dipshit!"

**Sam:** "GABRIEL! YOUR HAND ON MY DIC—HEAVY! GET OFF!"

**Dean:** "My. . . .Burger. . ."

**Gabriel:** "Quit. . . .choking. . . .me. . . .Cas. . . .do. . . .something. . . ."

**Sam:** "MY DICK!—BOTH OF YOU ON IT—HURTS!"

**Cas:** "What do I do?"

**Sam:** "ANYTHING!"

**Cas:** "Dean, get off Gabriel."

**Dean:** ". . . .Fine. You owe me bacon cheeseburgers for a year!"

**Gabriel:** "Whateva."

**Sam:** "OHMYGOD. . . .Assholes. . . .Ooowww. . . .fucking hell. . . . ."

**Chuck:** "Am I going the right way?"


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to supernatural

Note: Hey, guys! I just bought TEN INCH HERO! AAAHH! Magnificent episode last night, guys! It made me realize Crowley was missing from my story. . . . Oh, and spot the Doctor Who reference!

**Dean:** "If we drive any longer, I think I'm going to get car sick."

**Sam:** "But, you never had gotten car sick before."

**Dean:** "That's because I was in my Impala, not this plastic Barbie car! And Chuck's driving. . . .yuck."

**Michael:** "Maybe it would be wise to find a motel for the night. We've been driving nine hours straight."

**Lucifer:** "GUYS! IT'S COLD OUT HERE!"

**Chuck:** "Fine. The first motel we see, I'll stop."

**Bobby: **"If we had the map, we'd know."

**Michael:** "Am I supposed to apologize for throwing it out?"

**Lucifer:** "GUYS! IT'S REALLY COLD!"

**Sam:** "Do we have a blanket or something to give him?"

**Dean:** "Nope."

**Cas:** "What about your leather jacket, Dean?"

**Dean:** "Shh!"

**Sam: **"Dean. . . ."

**Dean:** "It's my friggin' leather jacket! Nobody wears it but me! Much less Lucifer! No way!"

**Lucifer:** "GUUUUUYS!"

**Michael:** "Just make him shut up."

**Gabriel:** "Stop being such a baby! It's not like he's going to keep it forever!"

**Dean:** "But-"

**Sam:** "Dean."

**Dean:** ". . . .Fine! Lucifer, here!"

**Lucifer:** "EEW! WHAT IS THIS WEIRD LOOKIN' THING? IT'S ALL DIRTY!"

**Dean:** "Give it back then!"

**Lucifer:** "NO!"

**Dean:** "Sheesh!. . . . .Don't you dare fucking drop it!"

**Cas:** "You will be rewarded for your kindness, Dean."

**Gabriel:** "Ooohh! Are you gonna reward him tonight, Cassie?"

**Cas:** "God will."

**Gabriel:** "Eww! Dad's gonna reward Dean? Gross!"

**Cas:** ". . . .I did not mean it like that."

**Dean:** "Shut the fuck up, Gabriel!"

**Lucifer:** "GUYS! IT'S WARM NOW!"

**Bobby:** "Quit yellin'!"

**Sam:** "This is way too much family time."

**Gabriel:** "Technically, Bobby and Chuck aren't family."

**Dean:** "Bobby's always been family."

**Lucifer:** "YEAH! HE'S LIKE OLD ENOUGH TO BE THERIR GREAT GRANDPA!"

**Bobby:** "I'm not that old!"

**Dean:** "Isn't Michael the oldest?"

**Gabriel:** "Yup. He's the macho older brother. Sammy's the youngest!"

**Sam:** "Great."

**Dean:** "He's the geeky younger brother."

**Cas:** "But, Sam's the tallest."

**Dean:** "Gabriel's the shortest. Like that younger brother who eats everything."

**Gabriel:** "Dean's the ugliest! He's the brother you pretend not to have."

**Michael:** "Lucifer's the dumbest. The idiot younger brother."

**Chuck:** "Chuck's the hottest. The brother you wish you were."

**Dean:** ". . . . .Get out of here, Chuck!"

**Gabriel:** "Oooh! We have a pair of nerd twins! Cas and Sammy!"

**Cas:** "Don't mess with the nerd angels."

**Bobby:** "Let's play the Quiet Game."

**Gabriel:** "No."

**Bobby:** "Too bad. Grandpa says so."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .I lose! Are we there yet?"

**Bobby:** "Well, that lasted longer than I thought."

**Chuck: **"No."

**Gabriel: **"Why not?"

**Chuck:** "Because we're still in the car. And the car is still moving."

**Dean:** "Cas, I feel naked without my jacket on!"

**Gabriel:** "What? You're naked without your jacket on?"

**Dean:** "NO!"

**Gabriel:** "Are we there now?"

**Chuck:** "No. The car is still moving."

**Gabriel:** "Then stop the car."

**Chuck:** "If I stop the car, the car won't move. Then we won't be closer to a motel. And we'll never be there yet."

**Sam:** "Just be patient."

**Bobby:** "And stop asking so much damn questions."

**Cas:** "Why do you wish to be there so badly?"

**Gabriel:** "Cos."

**Sam:** "Cos, what?"

**Gabriel:** "I gotta pee."

**Sam:** ". . . .What?"

**Dean:** "You gotta pee?"

**Gabriel:** "Real bad."

**Sam:** "Umm, I'm uncomfortable with you sitting on me."

**Gabriel:** "I'm not going to pee on you! But I will, if the car doesn't pull over!"

**Sam: **"PULL OVER!"

**Chuck:** "We're on a highway!"

**Sam:** "I don't care!"

**Bobby:** "That sign says it'll end in two miles."

**Sam:** "TWO MILES?"

**Dean:** "Two miles isn't that long on a highway, Sa—Oooh shit! Look at that traffic!"

**Sam:** "TRAFFIC!"

**Gabriel:** "This is gonna suck."

**Michael: **"Crossing your legs help."

**Gabriel:** "Okay."

**Sam:** "Aaah! Remove your knee, please!"

**Lucifer:** "JUST THINK OF RUNNING WATER! LIKE A WATERFALL!"

**Gabriel:** "Fuck you, Lucifer!"

**Sam:** "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

**Dean:** "Whoa, calm down, Sammy."

**Cas:** "Serenity is key-"

**Sam:** "I'm sorry, but you don't have an angel sitting on you who needs to piss really badly!"

**Gabriel:** "He's sorry for snapping at you, Cas. No one ever snaps at Cas, people!"

**Michael:** "A lot of cars are staring at us."

**Dean:** "Because our car is filled with beautiful people! Especially me! I take that back, they're all looking at me!"

**Bobby:** "Shut up, boy. I think it's because there's a man sitting on the roof of a car speeding on the highway and he's going-"

**Lucifer:** "WEEEEEEEEEEE!"

**Sam:** "Has it been two miles, yet?"

**Chuck:** "No."

**Sam:** "I don't care, run over those bitches!"

**Gabriel:** "Oooh! I love it when you talk dirty!"

**Sam:** "You, no talking. You, drive faster!"

**Chuck:** "I can't!"

**Dean:** "Sam. . ."

**Sam:** "Don't make me go 'Sam Winchester' on you!"

**Dean:** "Aaww! Look at you trying be all badass and heroic like me!"

**Sam:** "What? I'm more badass than you! Name me one SHORT superhero."

**Dean:** "Easy. ME."

**Cas:** "Vanity is a sin, Dean."

**Dean:** "I'm not vain if it's true!"

**Cas:** "That's the whole point of vanity."

**Sam:** "Well, Superman trumps Batman!"

**Dean:** "No way! Fuck that shit! Batman kicks Superman's ass back to Gallifrey!"

**Gabriel:** "I don't have to pee anymore!"

**Sam:** AAAH! DID YOU PEE ON ME?"

**Gabriel:** "NO!"

**Chuck: **"'Kay! We're off the highway!"

**Bobby:** "Now find us motel."

**Chuck:** "I gotta stop the car first. Okay, which way you wanna go?"

**Michael:** "What?"

**Chuck:** "We can go straight, left or right."

**Dean:** "We at an intersection?"

**Sam:** ". . . .Or a crossroads?"

**Dean:** "HE better not show up. . . ."

**Crowley:** "Who? Santa?"

**Sam:** "Great."

**Michael:** "Crowley!"

**Crowley:** "Ahhh, hello, Michael. Can't say I didn't miss you."

**Lucifer:** "You look familiar. . . ."

**Crowley:** "Yes, you do, too."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Did I kill you?"

**Crowley:** "I was employee of the month."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Nah. Don't remember you. . . ."

**Crowley:** "You're still the stupidest thing out there, boss. Or shall I say ex-boss?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .YOU!"

**Crowley:** "Did you miss me, boys?"

**Dean:** "Who're you again?"

**Sam:** "What do you want?"

**Crowley:** "Nothing. Maybe everything."

**Gabriel:** "You know him, Sammy?"

**Sam:** "You don't?"

**Lucifer:** "You're the new King of Hell, right?"

**Crowley:** "Swiper, no swiping! Yes, I am."

**Lucifer:** "Good luck; there are some dumbass demons out there."

**Michael:** "Look who's talking!"

**Crowley: **"I know. I worked for one. But you were a lovely boss. Let us have break time all the time. Aw, Bobby. Miss me?"

**Bobby:** "Go to hell."

**Crowley:** "But I was hoping to kiss you again."

**Gabriel:** "WHOA! WHAT?" HIM AND BOBBY?"

**Sam:** "Not now, Gabe."

**Gabriel:** "But, Bobby's like, OLD."

**Dean:** "Why are you here, Crowley?"

**Crowley:** "Well, you called, I came, and here we are."

**Sam:** "We didn't call you."

**Crowley:** "You were at a crossroads and asked a question. That's practically my calling card."

**Dean:** "So what? You're the King of Hell, now. Not some lowly crossroads demon, anymore. Where's one of your lackeys?"

**Crowley: **"Aw, but we have history together. I thought I'd come instead of some random demon, who you'll kill."

**Cas:** "Why are you here?"

**Crowley:** "Castiel, right? Look at you puffing out your chest like an Angel. You're in a car with Archangels, hunters and the ex-devil. Oh, and a prophet. . . .or a Hobo, I'm not sure. But, what are you? Don't you feel insignificant to them?"

**Cas:** ". . . . ."

**Dean:** "Don't listen to him, Cas."

**Gabriel:** "Are you insulting our brother?"

**Lucifer:** "Bad move."

**Michael:** "Cos now, you have three VERY pissed off Archagngels. And that's something you really don't want to deal with."

**Crowley:** "You Angels are just like flies. Always buzzing around. I'll be back."

**Gabriel:** "'I'll be back' what is he? The Terminator?"

**Sam:** "You know the Terminator but not Crowley?"

**Gabriel:** "What's your point?"

**Sam:** No more late night TV."

**Gabriel:** "So, late night sex instead?"


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Sam:** "Hey. Crowley left us something."

**Dean:** "Well, isn't Crowley a big fun bag of sunshine?"

**Gabriel:** "Ooooh! Open it! I like presents."

**Dean: **"Don't. It's probably a bomb."

**Sam:** "There's a note."

**Lucifer:** "Can I read it?"

**Bobby:** "No."

**Gabriel:** "I didn't know Lucifer could read!"

**Lucifer:** "I can! Gimme! I wanna read it!"

**Sam:** "Here."

**Lucifer:** "Hmmm. . . ."

**Michael:** "Don't strain your tiny brain."

**Lucifer:** "It says-"

**Dean:** "Nah, shut up. I don't wanna hear what he has to say. Just throw the box out the window."

**Cas:** "But, that is a gift. It's rude."

**Dean:** "Have you met him? He is-"

**Cas:** "I have met him."

**Dean:** "Yeah, I know, Cas. It's just an expression. He is rude, Cas."

**Sam:** "Dean, you're not the least bit curious to find out what's in the box?"

**Dean:** "Nope."

**Gabriel:** "Just read it already!"

**Lucifer:** "Don't rush me! It says-"

**Michael:** "I bet it's something bad."

**Bobby:** "No shit. It's Crowley."

**Gabriel: **"I hope its food. Like chocolate."

**Dean:** "Maybe its chocolate filled with poison."

**Gabriel:** "As long as its chocolate."

**Dean:** "You're an idiot."

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, but I'm Sam's idiot."

**Sam:** "Don't remind me."

**Bobby:** "Will y'all idjits shut up? He's trying to read the damn card!"

**Lucifer:** "It says-"

**Gabriel:** "I gotta pee again."

**Sam:** "Then get out of the car."

**Lucifer:** "Will you guys, maybe, I don't know. . . .LET ME READ THE DAMN CARD!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "DAMN! Just sit and be quiet like Chuck, Cas, and Michael, you bunch of kiddies!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "You think I'm annoying? Try listening to you guys! I don't know how you guys are even able to function correctly!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Fuck, guys! I mean-"

**Bobby:** "READ THE FUCKING CARD ALREADY!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Okie dokie. It says-"

**Gabriel:** "You didn't need to shout."

**Sam:** "Queit. He's trying to read!"

**Lucifer:** "It says-"

. . . . . .

**Crowley:** "Spying on them is like dinner and a movie. . . .What a bunch of fucktards."

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "'Dear idiots', I know you're all crying right now, because I'm gone.'"

**Dean:** "Yeah right."

**Lucifer:** "SHUT UP!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "'But don't worry, I'll be watching you. Like that little black angel on your shoulder that tells you all the stuff you shouldn't do but you will do. You know how to reach me, a crossroads and a question!"

**Gabriel: **"Let's call him all time, just to bug him!"

**Lucifer:** "'If you calling to bother me, I will kill you."

**Gabriel: **". . . ."

**Lucifer: **"'So you won't miss me too much, I left you a little present. Me, such a giver!"

**Bobby:** "I hate him."

**Lucifer:** "STOP INTERRUPTING ME!"

**Dean:** "Whoa, no one yells at Bobby!"

**Bobby:** "BOY! DON'T YOU YELL AT ME!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "READ. NOW."

**Michael:** "Told you he'd make a good Devil."

**Lucifer:** "Sorry, Bobby! I'm sorry! Uhhh, 'Now this is important, chaps. In it you'll find the Key to your Release. Oooh, sounds nice, huh?'"

**Dean:** "Sounds kinky."

**Gabriel:** "That's what I was gonna say!"

**Lucifer:** "'I know what Dean or that horndog angel is thinking right now. 'Oooh kinky!' that's what's written on Dean's forehead. Stop being perverted, Dean."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

. . . . . .

**Crowley: **"Hah! I was right! Predictable."

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "'Anyway, I know you wanna rip open that box now, huh? But, be careful. Where ever a light shines, a shadow falls! Open it whenever you want. Be seeing you soon. Your God, Crowley."

**Chuck:** "What does that mean? 'Where ever a light shines, a shadow falls?'"

**Cas:** "It's a proverb."

**Dean:** "It means, something good comes with something bad."

**Sam:** "Whatever's in that box, it's going to have consequences."

**Gabriel:** "Huh. It just might be chocolate filled with poison. Something good and bad!"

**Dean:** "I say we throw it out the window!"

**Sam:** "Should we?"

**Michael:** "You know what they say, 'Curiosity killed the cat.'"

**Gabriel: **"Yes, but, 'the second mouse gets the cheese'!. . . . .Lucifer, you open it!"

**Lucifer:** "Okay! Present time!"

**Cas:** "Wait."

**Chuck: **"So what do we do?"

**Sam:** "Did you just ask a question?"

**Dean:** "Shit."

**Sam:** "Chuck, we're still at a crossroads and you just asked a question."

**Chuck:** "Oh. Yeah but I don't think he's gonna come."

**Crowley:** "Miss me already, boys? I knew it."

**Dean:** "Getoutta here."

**Sam:** "It was a mistake."

**Crowley: **". . . .Are you wasting my time? Didn't you read my card? Don't. Waste. My. Time."

**Michael:** "Enough. What's in the box?'

**Crowley:** "Open it and find out."

**Dean:** "Not gonna happen."

**Sam:** "Just tell us."

**Crowley:** "It's happiness, rainbows and sunshine. All that and a bag of chips."

**Gabriel:** "Just a little hint?"

**Crowley:** "Do you guys know who these gift-present things work? You don't tell them what you got them! The whole point of a surprise is a SURPRISE!"

**Dean:** "Okay, enough games, Crowley."

**Crowley:** "Oh, but I love games. You know what's my favorite game?"

**Chuck:** "'Let's make a Deal?'"

**Crowley:** "Aw, prophet. You wanna make a deal? I can make you not look like a Hobo for a nice price."

**Lucifer:** "Take it! Take it!"

**Chuck:** "NO!. . . .What price?"

**Dean:** "Shut up, Chuck."

**Crowley:** "Well, if you idiots won't need me. . ."

. . . . . .

**Sam:** "He could have at least pointed us in the right direction."

**Dean:** "Don't bring him back."

**Gabriel:** "That box is just like staring at me. It wants me to open it!"

**Dean:** "Watch you explode."

**Lucifer:** "Like how Cas did?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "My bad. Bad reference. Forget I said that!"

**Dean:** "The Key to your Release. . . .what could that be?"

**Sam:** "Something very not good, probably."

**Gabriel:** "There's only one way to find out."

**Dean:** "No. Not until we know what it is."

**Sam:** "Crowley and his goddamn games. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "But, you gotta admit, it is pretty fun."

**Michael:** "Quit shaking the box."

**Lucifer:** "Oooh! It rattles!"

**Bobby:** "What if you broke it."

**Lucifer:** "Then he gave us a crap present."

**Dean:** "We aren't opening it. Just leave it."

**Sam:** "But what if you like it?"

**Dean:** "Guarantee I won't."

**Sam:** "Maybe it's a toy TARDIS?"

**Dean:** "Ugh. Not this again."

**Cas:** "What is a TARDIS?"

**Sam:** "It's from this awesome TV show."

**Dean:** "He's such a fangirl."

**Sam:** "Shut up."

**Lucifer:** "Hey guess what, guys?"

**Dean:** "What?"

**Lucifer: **"I opened it."


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Dean:** "What's in the box?"

**Gabriel:** "Is it chocolate? It's chocolate, isn't it?"

**Sam:** "See, it wasn't a bomb."

**Dean:** "It can still go off."

**Sam:** "Be real, Dean."

**Dean:** ". . . .You be real."

**Gabriel:** "Good come back, Dean-o."

**Dean:** "Shut up."

**Gabriel:** "Oooh, so original."

**Michael:** "Quit it, guys."

**Dean:** ". . . .You quit it."

**Gabriel:** "Really, Dean? Really?"

**Dean:** "Shut your piehole, I feel off today."

**Gabriel: **"So your comebacks are gonna suck the whole day?"

**Lucifer:** "Perfect. Dean you're so ugly."

**Dean:** ". . . .You're ugly."

**Gabriel: **"You suck in bed."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "You're fat from all those bacon cheeseburgers."

**Gabriel:** "You look like Spongebob beat you with an ugly stick."

**Lucfier:** "You brought your mom to the prom and she ditched you."

**Gabriel:** "You make everyone LOSE THE GAME."

**Sam:** "Aww! Gabe, you just made me lose the game!"

**Cas:** "What game?"

**Sam:** "THE Game."

**Cas:** "What game?"

**Lucifer:** "Dean you're so-"

**Michael:** "Can you guys just shut up?"

**Lucifer:** "Can you stop being so ugly?"

**Sam:** "What? No, Cas! It's not imaginary chess!"

**Cas:** "Oh. Is it mental Pictionary?"

**Sam:** "What? No! It's just the Game!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah! Checkers!"

**Bobby:** "SHUT UP! You're making me lose the Game!"

**Dean:** "You play the Game?"

**Gabriel:** "Ahahaha! Bobby just lost the Game!"

**Lucifer:** "You know I made the Game, right?"

**Dean:** "You did?"  
**Lucifer:** "Yup. What am I supposed to do in a box in cage in a Pit? I played the Game. Some biter demon started to play, and then it spread like a hoe with STD's."

**Sam:** "Cas, don't listen to Gabe, he's an idiot."

**Dean:** "Amen."

**Cas:** "So it isn't Duck-duck-goose?"

**Sam:** "No."

**Cas:** "What is the Game, Dean?"

**Dean:** "As long as you don't think about it, you don't lose. So let's see, you've been winning for centuries. But, you just lost. So, you gotta start over."

**Chuck:** "Hey, there's a Diner up ahead, you want me to sto-"

**Gabriel:** "I NEED CHOCOLATE!"

**Dean:** "I need BACON CHEESEBURGERS!"

**Bobby:** "I need outta this damn car."

**Dean:** "It's sooo cramped! Damnit, Lucifer! Couldn't you just stay on the roof?"

**Lucifer:** "No."

**Gabriel: **"It's okay, chucklehead! You got to have Cas on your lap!"

**Cas: **". . . .It's a very odd position."

**Sam:** "You just had to have the middle seat too. I don't like to be in smushed with Gabe on top."

**Gabriel:** "I gotta say it! So, you want to be on top or in the middle tonight?"

**Sam:** "Is your mind always on sex?"

**Gabriel:** "No, it's on candy too!"

**Chuck:** "If there's a Diner, should we be close to a town?"

**Bobby:** "I don't know. Let me check the map."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "Oh, wait. That's right. We don't have a map."

**Michael:** "No matter what you say, I won't apologize."

**Chuck:** "Later, guys. Let's just eat."

**Dean:** "Okay, Cas, you first."

**Cas:** "Right."

**Dean:** "Ow! Foot! Foot!"

**Cas:** "My apologies."

**Sam:** "Open the door, Gabe."

**Gabe:** "Okay, I got it! Lemme just-"

**Lucifer:** "Move!"

**Gabriel:** "Aaah!"

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Gabriel:** "Oww! I'm okay the gravel on my face caught me. Lucifer! Don't just push me out!"

**Lucifer: **"Quit whinin' you were moving to slow."

**Gabriel:** "So you push me out? Why not go out the other door?"

**Lucifer:** "I can't push Dean out! He's too heavy from all those burgers!"

**Dean:** "Hey!"

**Sam:** "Are you okay?"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, whatever."

**Lucifer:** "He's fine! Quit babyin' him."

**Cas:** "The others already went in."

**Sam:** "Let's go catch up."

**Gabriel:** "My super-awesome hearing said Michael and the others already got a table and told the waiter not to let the 'five crazy people' near their table."

**Dean:** "Jerks."

**Sam:** "Bitches."  
**Dean:** "Oh, wait. Blooper, my bad. Bitches."

**Sam:** "Jerks."

**Dean:** "Hey, I want my jacket back."

**Lucifer:** "No."

**Dean:** "What?"

. . . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Good idea getting only us three a table."

**Michael:** "It's best if we eat separate."

**Bobby:** "Why do you think I live alone?"

**Chuck:** "Oh. I thought it was because you were lonely and in no possible way to ever get a girlfriend."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Look who's talkin'."

**Chuck:** "Shut up. I have one! Or. . . .had one. . . .Shit."

**Michael:** "What are those morons doing?"

. . . . . . .

**Sam:** "Get offa him!"

**Dean:** "Gimme back my jacket!"

**Lucifer:** "No! It looks better on me!"

**Dean:** "That's my Dad's friggin' jacket!"

**Gabriel:** "Hit him harder, Dean! Harder!"

**Lucifer:** "So? The Devil, which is me, looks better with leather!"

**Dean:** "Oh, like some slut Devil in leather?"

**Cas:** "Dean. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Oi!"

**Dean:** "Give it back!"

**Sam:** "Dean!"

**Gabriel:** "Lucifer! I know you can grapple better than that!"

**Cas:** "Dean, Lucifer. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Ow!"

**Dean:** "Damn it!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** "Dean, Lucifer. . . ."

**Dean:** "Arghh!"

**Lucifer:** "Whoa!"

**Dean:** "No kicking!"

**Cas:** "Dean, Lucifer. . . ."

**Dean:** "WHAT CAS?"

**Lucifer:** "I'm a lil' busy here bro, I'm kicking your boy's ass!"

**Cas:** "You just lost the Game."

. . . . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Wow, they're out there scrapin'!"

**Bobby:** "Good thing we don't know em'!"

**Michael:** "Over Dean's jacket."

**Chuck:** "Whoa, they stopped!"

**Michael:** "Cas just said 'You lost the Game'."

**Bobby:** "DAMNIT!"

. . . . . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Aww, fuck, Cas! I just lost again!"

Gabriel: "Me too! I just lost Checkers!"

**Cas:** "Now, that I have your attention. Dean get off him, and Lucifer give him back the jacket."

**Dean:** "Fine."

**Lucifer:** "Here."

**Cas:** "Good. Now I'm hungry."

**Lucifer:** "Yes, master!"

. . . . . . . .

**Michael:** "They're coming."

**Chuck:** "Quick, act like you don't know them! Look away!"

**Bobby:** "Don't be an idjit! Don't just cover your eyes!"

**Chuck:** "If I can't see them, they can't see me!"

**Bobby:** "Damn idjit."

**Lucifer:** "Oh, HI GUYS!"

**Bobby:** "Keep pretending. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "HELLLOO! GUUUYYS!"

**Dean: **"Shut it! We're not sitting with them!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, we're just gonna go sit over here at the COOL TABLE."

**Chuck:** "Ours is cooler. . . ."

**Michael:** "Just eat, idiot prophet."

. . . . . . . . .

**Gabriel:** "I feel better."

**Sam:** "Yeah, cos you ate only chocolate cake."

**Dean:** "I had my burger."

**Lucifer:** "Someone's going to get fatterrr!"

**Dean:** "Shut up."

**Lucifer:** "Hey, when you're too fat to fit in your jacket, can I have it?"

**Dean:** "NO! That'll never happen! I'll never get fat."

**Gabriel: **". . . .Or tall."

**Michael:** "Who has the keys?"

**Dean:** "You know what? I don't feel so off anymore. Gabriel! You're so ugly you're like Santa's reject elf. Lucifer! You're so dumb you thought dogs laid eggs and you hatched from one."

**Lucifer:** "Why you being so salty for?"

**Michael:** "No, really. Who has the keys?"

**Chuck:** ". . . ."  
**Bobby:** "Shouldn't Chuck have it? He drove."

**Chuck:** ". . . .I might've left it. . . ."

**Dean:** "Please say in the Diner, please say in the Diner. . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .in the car. . . ."

**Gabriel: **"You're just one huge fuck up aren't you?"

**Sam:** "And you didn't see this in your visions?"

**Chuck:** "It doesn't work like that!"

**Sam:** "Well, it should."

**Cas:** "So what do we do now?"

**Michael:** "Try to get it out, obviously."

**Sam:** "Any one has a wire?"

**Dean:** "Why don't I chat up a chick and get the wire from her bra?. . . . .What? It's easy."

**Cas:** "NO."

**Dean:** "Then what, Cas?"

**Lucifer:** "Aww! I left the box in there!"

**Gabriel:** "There's an idea!"

**Michael:** "We are not gonna call a demon to help us. Especially the King."

Bobby: "We have no choice."

**Sam:** "What will we bargain?"

**Dean:** "I volunteer Gabriel!"

**Gabriel:** "I nominate Lucifer!"

**Dean:** "Oh wait! I change mine's to Lucifer!"

**Michael:** "I vote Lucifer, too."

**Lucifer:** "Yaaay! I'm winning! I vote me, too!"

**Dean:** "Call him."

**Lucifer:** "So, what'd I win, guys?"

. . . . . . . .

**Dean:** "As much as I want to say this, we need your help."

**Crowley:** "Excuse me? Did I hear that correctly?"

**Sam:** "Cut the crap, just help us."

**Crowley:** "No."

**Michael:** "We're bargain Lucifer."

**Crowley:** "As much as I want that ass-for-brains, NO."

**Bobby:** "Why the hell not?"

**Crowley:** "I was watching you, and you made me lose the Game. I HATE LOSING THE GAME."

**Bobby:** ". . . .I've never lost the Game so many times in one day."

**Crowley:** "I'll help you, I guess. For a price, of course. But let me ask you this. Didja open my present?"

**Dean:** ". . . .Kinda. Why?"

**Crowley:** "What kind of fucking answer is that? It's either 'yes or no'!"

**Cas:** "Lucifer opened it, but he never told us."

**Crowley:** "Ah, so pretty boy does speak. Why would you let shit-for-brains open it?"

**Lucifer:** "I'm not that dumb!"

**Gabriel:** "Right, and donkey's can fly."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .They can't?"

**Bobby:** "We didn't know he had it. Quit shittin' around. What's the deal?"

**Crowley:** "Really, Bobby. It's quite simple and obvious. The deal of the century is. . . ."


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Bobby:** "NO!"

**Dean:** "C'mon, Bobby. . . ."

**Bobby:** "Are you deaf? I said 'NO'!"

**Lucifer:** "I know you wanna Bobby. . . ."

**Bobby:** "Go to hell."

**Lucifer:** "Been there, done that, ain't going back."

**Crowley:** "Aww, Bobby. You're hurting what little feelings I have."

**Bobby:** "Leave."

**Crowley:** ". . . .Fine. I'll be leaving you, then."

**Dean:** "Wait!"

**Sam:** "Bobby, we're gonna be stuck here!"

**Bobby:** "I'll walk."

**Gabriel:** "I'm not! Quit being so selfish!"

**Michael:** "It's just one tiny kiss. . . ."

**Bobby:** "Nobody asked you, Holier-than-thou!"

**Michael:** "Don't need to be rude."

**Crowley:** "One minute or I walk."

**Gabriel:** "How's about Lucy? Lucy will kiss you!"

**Lucifer:** "What?"

**Crowley:** "What?"

**Gabriel:** "What?"

**Lucifer: **"What'd you say?"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .What?"

**Crowley:** "I don't let idiots kiss me."

**Gabriel:** "Ohhh, so only old people, then?"

**Dean:** "Dude, your dumbass angel is going toe-to-toe with the King of Hell."

**Sam:** "I know. I wonder why Crowley didn't kill him yet."

**Crowley:** "Archangel Gabriel, I presume?"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah? What of it?"

**Crowley:** "I heard you were just a slob, chocolate-eating angel. Guess the rumors were true."

**Gabriel:** "And I heard you sold your soul for a bigger dick. And now as King, you finally are a huge dick. I guess God never liked you."

**Crowley: **". . . ."

**Cas:** "So what about the keys?"

**Michael:** "We said we'd give you Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "Huh?"

**Crowley:** "No."

**Dean:** "I'll give you Gabriel as well."

**Crowley:** "I don't need Heaven's rejects."

**Chuck:** ". . . .How long will Bobby have to kiss you for?"

**Bobby:** "Chuck!"

**Chuck:** "I'm just askin'!"

**Crowley:** ". . . .Thirty seconds. And a picture."

**Dean:** "You kinky son of a bitch."

**Crowley:** "There's always another way, if. . . .you don't want my help."

**Sam:** "What is it?"

**Crowley:** "Smash the window."

**Dean:** "No!"

**Crowley:** "Why not? It's not the Impala."

**Dean:** ". . . .Good point."

**Gabriel:** "We'll use Chuck's head."

**Chuck:** "I rather have him kiss Bobby."

**Bobby:** "You're the one that got us into this mess."

**Crowley:** "So, my new best friends, question of the night: why didn't you open my present?"

**Chuck:** "We did! We just never found out."

**Dean:** "What was in the box, Lucifer?"

**Lucifer:** "A key."

**Michael:** "A key?"

**Chuck:** "That's all? Just a key?"

**Bobby:** "A key to what?"

**Crowley:** "The key to my heart."

**Bobby:** "Screw you."

**Gabriel:** "I know you wanna."

**Sam:** "Shut up, Gabe. But you said it was called the key to your release."

**Crowley:** "It still is."

**Lucifer:** "I don't get it."

**Crowley:** "You don't get a lot of things."

**Dean:** "What does it mean, Crowley?"

**Crowley:** "And here I thought you boys were smart. Fine. Let's put the pieces together. Why are you here?"

**Lucifer:** "To get my llama."

**Crowley:** "No."

**Dean:** "To eat."

**Crowley:** "No!"

**Michael:** "To attend a convention."

**Crowley:** "Five points to Hufflepuff! Second clue, why are you all together?"

**Gabriel:** "Because we love each other so much!"

**Crowley:** "No."

**Michael:** "Because we're cursed."

**Crowley:** "Eh, no. My, you guys are really stupid."

**Cas:** ". . . .Because the Impala is impaired."

**Crowley: **"Fifty point to Ravenclaw!"

**Sam:** "The key to your release. . . ."

**Dean:** "And Lucifer had a key. . . ."

**Michael:** "So that key was for. . . ."

**Crowley:** "Three stooges are finally getting it!"

**Dean:** "ARE YOU SHITTING ME? The key to the Impala was in that box?"

**Crowley:** "Guilty."

**Chuck:** "But, the Impala was towed."

**Crowley:** "Idiots. . . .eighty points from Gryffndor! We're you not listening? I've been watching you!"

**Sam:** "You towed the Impala?"

**Crowley:** "Got it all nice and fixed. It's not all brokey anymore. And, fuck, was it broken! So many dents and scratches. . . ."

**Dean:** "Don't touch my Baby!"

**Crowley:** "I FIXED it. Do you want it BROKEN?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "So, what? We open the box, get the key. Was the Impala going to magically appear?"

**Crowley:** "Yup. The key to your release was in that box. You could've been free. Gone anywhere you like, without the others."

**Cas:** "What about the shadow and the candle thing?"

**Crowley:** "C'mon, are you guy's complete morons? The box, the key, it was the candle and the light. The shadow was the _doubt_."

**Michael:** "Doubt?"

**Lucifer:** "You lost me already."

**Crowley: **"Yes! Doubt! You thought it was a bomb or poison. That doubt kept you from opening the box. Wherever something good is found, doubt comes with it."

**Dean:** "What? Get that from a fortune cookie?"

**Gabriel:** "And you expected us to figure all that out?"

**Crowley:** "Yup. . . .Nah! Of course not! I was just screwin' with yah."

**Chuck:** "I hate you."

**Crowley:** "I don't care about you."

**Bobby:** "I hate you."

**Crowley:** "Hate's good. It's a strong passion."

**Sam:** "Well, now that we've established that the Impala is basically in that box-"

**Michael:** "In that car, WE NEED IN."

**Chuck:** "How are we gonna get it? Are we really gonna smash the window?"

**Lucifer:** "We can throw a rock at it."

**Dean:** "Dude, we already look suspicious crowding around the car. I don't think it's smart to throw a rock or smash it, that'll look bad."

**Crowley:** "Well, you know my terms."

**Chuck:** "Ugghhh, this blows!"

**Lucifer:** "Damnit, Booby! Just kiss him!"

**Gabriel:** "You did it last time!"

**Bobby:** "There wasn't an audience before!"

**Gabriel:** "That's it? You won't do it, because you have fucking stage fright?"

**Dean:** "C'mon Bobby. I want my Impala! Me, you, Sam and Cas can ditch them! We can go home!"

**Chuck:** "No! Take me with you!"

**Gabriel:** "You ain't fucking leaving me!"

**Dean:** "Don't you wanna go home, Bobby? I know you wanna go home!"

**Bobby:** ". . . .Ok."

**Crowley:** "Good. Here's the camera."

**Lucifer:** "Yay!"

**Crowley:** "Don't break it! Press that button."

**Lucifer:** "Okay!"

**Crowley:** "NO! NOT YET!"

**Lucifer: **"My bad."

**Gabriel:** "Oooh, Bobby's getting it on!"

**Bobby:** "EVERYONE TURN AROUND!"

**Dean:** "Fine. Whatever."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Party pooper."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Yay! I can watch it!"

**Crowley:** "Bobby?"

**Bobby:** "What?"

**Crowley:** "No tongue."

**Gabriel:** "EWWW!"

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "GIVE ME THE BOX, GABRIEL!"

**Gabriel:** "No!"

**Dean:** "GIVE ME THE FUCKING BOX!"

**Sam:** "Guys!"

**Dean:** "BOX, NOW!"

**Gabriel:** "Promise to take me with you!"

**Michael:** "This is pointless. We should just leave them."

**Lucifer:** "Drive, Chuck."

**Sam:** "Touch the wheel, and I'll slap you."

**Chuck:** "And we're waiting!"

**Gabriel:** "Fine! Here's the box!"

**Dean:** "Yes! My Impala! My Impa-"

**Gabriel:** "Missing something?"

**Dean:** "GIVE ME THE KEY!"

**Gabriel:** "You wanted the box!"

**Dean:** "FUCK! GIVE ME THE FUCKING KEY!"

**Cas:** "People are staring again."

**Bobby:** "I fucking kissed the damn asshole and in return I get this?"

**Gabriel:** "No!"

**Dean:** "GIVE IT!"

**Sam:** "Dean! Put that gun down!"

**Cas:** "Gabriel! Put your sword away!"

**Michael:** ". . . .Something's wrong. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Wish we had some popcorn. . . ."

**Bobby:** "What's wrong?—Oh."

**Sam:** "Dean! I said put that gun down!. . . .Both of them!"

**Michael:** "Guys!"

**Dean: **"GIVE ME, MY KEY!"

**Gabriel:** "Take me with you!"

**Michael:** "Guys!"

**Sam:** "What is it, Bobby?"

**Bobby:** "Didn't Crowley say the Impala would magically appear?"

**Sam:** "Yeah, so?"

**Bobby:** "So. . . .where is it?"

**Sam:** ". . . .Oh."


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Sam:** "Dean!"

**Dean:** "Give me the damn key!"

**Michael:** "Gabriel! Stop! Listen to us!"

**Gabriel:** "Gotta pay me for it! They key for a ride!"

**Dean:** "GIVE ME THE KEY, OR I'LL FUDGEING KILL YOU!"

**Sam:** "Fudge?"

**Cas:** "Fudge, Dean?"

**Dean:** "Crap, damn pagan god. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Fudge?. . . .Ooooh, that sounds yummy! I want fudge!"

**Bobby:** "Guys!"

**Dean:** "What, Bobby?"

**Bobby:** "You're a damn idjit hunter."

**Dean:** ". . . .What?"

**Lucifer:** "He said, 'YOU'RE A DAMN IDJIT'."

**Dean:** "I know!"

**Bobby: **"Hunters are supposed to be aware of their surroundings."

**Dean:** "I am!"

**Bobby:** "No. You're as sharp as a marble."

**Cas:** "Marbles are not sharp, Bobby."

**Chuck:** "Nothing gets by you, Cas."

**Lucifer:** "Dean is also as smart as a rock."

**Gabriel:** "I can teach a walnut to speak, instead of trying to teach chucklehead over there."

**Lucifer: **"Can he even spell 'walnut'?"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Can you?"

**Dean:** "Whoa, whoa, whoa! What is this? Gang up on Dean Day?"

**Lucifer:** "Nah, that's everyday!"

**Sam:** "The point is. . . ."

**Michael:** "The box is open; the key is out, where is the Impala?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Isn't it supposed to 'magically appear' like Crowley said?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "This is why you don't trust demons."

**Chuck:** "I can't believe you-"

**Lucifer:** "YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT BUTTER!"

**Dean:** ". . . .You can have the key."

**Gabriel:** "No, you can have it! It's worthless."

**Dean:** "No! I don't want it!"

**Gabriel:** "Well, I don't want it. Here, think fast!"

**Dean:** "I said I don't want it!"

**Gabriel:** "Quit tossin' it back at me! Just keep it!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Lucifer:** "Aaaw! Look at them playing catch!"

**Sam:** "So, can we please go now?"

**Chuck:** "I'll drive!"

**Michael:** "Where are we going?"

**Chuck:** "Uhhhh. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "AHAHA! You dropped it!"

**Dean:** "Fudge you!"

**Lucifer:** "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S NOT FUDGE!"

**Chuck:** "That doesn't make sense!"

**Bobby:** "I'm getting a headache from this stupidity. It feels like the damn apocalypse happened."

**Michael:** "And all the dumbasses survived."

**Cas:** "The apocalypse did not happen, Michael, Dean saved us."

**Dean: **"Fudge you, Gabriel! Fudge you!"

**Michael:** ". . . .Hard to believe that."

**Lucifer:** "I CAN'T BELIEVE-"

**Michael:** "SHUT UP!"

**Sam:** "Get in the damn car, you babies!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "Sometimes, I think Sam should be the older brother."

**Lucifer:** "Wait, he's not?"

. . . . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Oh, hey, Dean. You dropped this."

**Dean:** "Oh, than—I DON'T WANT THE FUDGIN' KEY!"

**Gabriel:** "Too late! You touched it last!"

**Sam:** "What are you? Twelve?"

**Gabriel:** "But I don't want it!"

**Dean:** "Just suck it up and hold it! And I swear to God, if you make a sex joke from that. . . . "

**Gabriel:** "I shan't not sin. That's impure, Dean-o."

**Lucifer:** "Right. Like you're the poster child for the perfect little Archangel. . . .freakin' weirdo."

**Dean:** "Yeah, because you're so Angel—y. You wear all white, have a halo, and play the freakin' harp every second and float on a cloud."

**Gabriel:** "THAT'S RACIST!"

**Cas:** "No more stereotypes, Dean."

**Michael:** "I hate stereotypes."

**Lucifer:** "I hate the people who say them."

**Michael:** "Does it look like I float on a cloud?"

**Lucifer:** "Do I have halo?"

**Gabriel:** "Does it look like I play a harp?"

**Sam:** "Don't you have a horn?"

**Chuck:** "I thought it was a trumpet."

**Gabriel:** "ANYWAYS. . . .I can't sit in a car with a racist person."

**Dean:** "I'm not racist towards angels! I love Cas! Not you, but Cas!"

**Bobby:** "Does it really matter? We're in a freakin' car with Archangels, a prophet and the freakin' Devil!"

**Sam:** "That's true."

**Bobby:** "I think we all need to play another 'quiet game'."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . .I can't sit next to someone racist towards Angels!"

**Dean:** "I'm sorry!"

**Gabriel:** "The racist should hold the key!"

**Dean:** "Hey!"

**Cas:** "Just hold it, Dean. I think you're pissing off-"

**Lucifer:** "STOP FUCKING THROWING IT ACROSS MY FACE OR I'M GONNA BURN BOTH YOUR SMALL DICKS OFF!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Good."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Are we there yet?"


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural. A tiny Doctor Who reference if you squint.

**Gabriel:** "I said, are we there yet?"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Are we there yet?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Are we there yet?"

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "ARE WE THERE YET?"

**Lucifer:** "HOLY FUCK! SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

**Gabriel:** "Well, no one was answering me!"

**Dean:** "Cos, nobody likes you."

**Bobby:** "Why do you wanna know so badly?"

**Sam:** "Do not say you gotta pee again."

**Gabriel:** "NO!. . . . .Yes."

**Sam:** "Gabe!"

**Gabriel:** "What?"

**Michael:** "Didn't you go at the diner?"

**Dean:** "Obviously not."

**Chuck:** "Well, we are in some sort of town. . . .small town, very small town. I think we've finally found a motel."

**Lucifer:** "Thank Daddy!"

**Chuck:** "Daddy? Daddy had nothing to do with this. It was all my excellent driving."

**Michael:** "What? We were behind a parked car for an hour, you shithead."

**Cas:** "And we almost hit a pedestrian. . . .on the sidewalk."

**Chuck:** "Hey!. . . .He was in the way."

**Lucifer:** "What's a pe-ped- pedestriumum-um-um?"

**Gabriel:** "Pedestrian. Sound it out, big boy."

**Lucifer:** "You gotta admit I'm a better driver than Mr. Hobo."

**Dean:** "No. You hit my Baby. . . .a lot."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .I'm still a better driver."

**Michael: **"As long as you know how to read 'STOP' on a sign, you're good."

**Lucifer:** "Yup! S-T-O-P-E!"

**Gabriel:** "More like, 'S-T-U-P-I-D'."

**Sam:** "Dean, you do not know how uncomfortable it is to have an Angel sitting on your lap who has to pee."

**Dean:** "Sucks to be you."

**Bobby:** "There's a sign up ahead that says 'Motel'."

**Michael:** "Finally."

**Gabriel:** "Yay! No more cramped car."

**Cas:** "Only cramped legs."

**Lucifer:** "Aaaahhh!"

**Michael:** "What?"

**Lucifer:** "HOLY SHIT! CAS!"

**Cas:** ". . . .What?"

**Lucifer:** "Holy shit guys! It's Cas!"

**Dean:** "Yeeahhhh. . . .Soooooooo?"

**Cas:** "I do not understand."

**Lucifer:** "Fuck, Cas. When'd you get here?"

**Dean:** "The fuck? He was here the whole time!"

**Lucifer:** "Nooo. . . .Really?"

**Dean:** "He's been sitting right next to you, well on me, but I'm right next to you-"

**Cas: **"I was always here, Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "Oh. I guess I forgot. You're so quiet Cas! Damn! Speak more!"

**Cas:** "I have nothing to say. But, I'll try."

**Michael:** ". . . .Sometimes I wish I forgot Lucifer was here."

**Bobby:** "Know the feeling. He's too loud to forget."

**Lucifer:** "GUYS! WE NEED COOKIES!"

**Dean:** "Quit yelling!"

**Chuck:** "We should take him to a mental institution, not a motel."

**Michael:** "I don't think so."

**Chuck:** "All we have to do is convince them he's insane!-er. Insaner! He can talk about Angels and being the Devil!"

**Michael:** "No the other patients will seem like Albert Einstein compared to Lucifer."

**Bobby:** "Let's test it. Hey, Lucifer!"

**Lucifer:** "There's chocolate chip and peanut butter and-what Booby?"

**Bobby:** "Who's Albert Einstein?"

**Lucifer:** "Oh! I know this! He's the old man, the Monopoly dude!"

**Gabriel:** "What about E=MC squared?"

**Lucifer:** "No, that was Mariah Carrey! It was on her album."

**Bobby:** "He'll be the number one patient."

**Gabriel:** "Who's God?"

**Lucifer:** "Not me! Or Mikey! Or Gabby! Or Cassie, or Dean, or Sam-"

**Michael:** "Where's Waldo?"

**Lucifer:** "-Or Booby, or Hobo, or-Mexico! Waldo's in Mexico. I saw him. It was on some name tag."

**Chuck:** "Perfect for the mental hospital."

**Cas:** "I do not think that he is unintelligent."

**Lucifer:** "Speak, Cas! Speak!"

**Dean:** "He's not a dog!"

**Cas:** "I just think he's a little. . . .mad."

**Michael:** "Mad? MAD? That's it? Just, mad?"

**Sam:** "Well, he was stuck in a Pit, in a cage for like, forever. He's bound to be a little insanely mad."

**Dean:** ". . . .I guess."

**Lucifer:** "So, what'd you do with the box? You know the one that had the key?"

**Sam:** "Hehehehehe."

**Dean:** "What?"

**Sam:** "No, it's what he said. 'A mad man with a box' hehehehe."

**Dean:** ". . . .Weirdo."

**Sam:** ". . . .Jerk."

**Dean:** "Bitch."

**Bobby:** "Why haven't we turned? Chuck, why haven't we turned? The motel sign was coming up. Why didn't we turn into it?"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Oh. I must've been distracted with Lucifer being as smart as a rock."

**Bobby:** "TURN AROUND AND GO BACK."

**Michael:** "NOW."

**Chuck:** "Okay, okay! Sheesh!"

**Gabriel:** "I still gotta pee."

**Sam:** "FASTER CHUCK!"

**Gabriel:** "Take my mind off of it."

**Dean: **"PDA, guys. PDA."

**Gabriel:** "Fine. . . . .Are we there yet?"

**Cas:** "No."

**Lucifer:** "WHOA! CAS!"

. . . . . . .

Okay, I gotta study now for Chem. Stoichiometry, SUCKS! Especially the twelve step ones.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Dean:** "Okay, I finished."

**Cas: **"What is it?"

**Dean:** "Rules."

**Gabriel:** "Rules? For what?"

**Dean:** "For those who can't act like adults."

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, GABRIEL."

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, LUCIFER."

**Bobby:** "Must be a long list."

**Chuck:** "Five minutes guys."

**Lucifer:** "Read it!"

**Dean:** "Rule 1: No smashing through walls."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Is that one for me?"

**Gabriel:** "Or me?"

**Dean:** "Rule 2: No invisible chairs."

**Sam:** "You deserved it."

**Dean:** "Rule 4: No Sam or Gabriel in the same bed."

**Gabriel:** "Guess which rule I'm breaking first?"

**Dean:** "Rule 5: No breaking the rules."

**Michael:** "These rules are irrelevant."

**Dean:** "Rule 6: Only apple pie. Rule 7: No singing."

**Lucifer:** "Aaawww!"

**Dean:** "Rule 7: No Justin Bieber songs or Bible stations."

**Sam:** "I kind of liked the Bible station."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Nerd."

**Dean: **"Rule 8: No stupid sentences or questions."

**Lucifer:** "Is this a stupid question? Or this one? Or this one?"

**Dean:** "Rule 9: No threesomes."

**Lucifer:** "WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX!"

**Gabriel :** ". . . .Not even a little one?"

**Dean:** "Rule 10: No yelling."

**Chuck:** "Okay! We're here at the. . . . 'Casanova Motel'."

**Sam:** "It's called 'Casanova'?"

**Gabriel:** "Pssht! I'm the world's greatest lover, right Sammy?"

**Michael:** "I think you watch too much late night TV."

**Gabriel:** "Well, SOMEBODY doesn't like to have late night sex."

**Sam:** "Not ALL NIGHT sex, Gabe."

**Gabriel:** "I don't see a difference!"

**Cas:** "Now, I know why you made that rule."

**Dean:** "It's my favorite. . . . .Rule 11: No planes."

**Lucifer:** "Are we getting on a plane?"

**Dean:** "Rule 12: No clowns."

**Bobby:** "Clowns? What the-"

**Chuck:** "Guys, before we go in, how many rooms?"

**Gabriel:** "Me and Sammy!"

**Dean:** "No! That's breaking the rules!"

**Gabriel:** "Why should I care what's on some piece of paper?"

**Dean:** "Too bad."

**Gabriel:** ". . . . Fine. But, then you and Cas can't share a room."

**Dean:** "What?"

**Gabriel:** "It's only fair."

**Cas:** "He's got a point."

**Dean:** "Okay."

**Bobby:** "Hey, that sign says it's only got three rooms available."

**Dean:** "I get Sam!"

**Bobby:** "No, Chuck."

**Chuck:** "Please, Bobby? I can't stand Michael and Lucifer!"

**Gabriel:** "I get Cas!"

**Dean:** "I get Cas!"

**Gabriel:** "What! You just agreed not to!"

**Dean:** "I take it back!"

**Gabriel:** "You can't do that!"

**Dean:** "I made the rules!"

**Gabriel:** "I don't give a shit!"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "Get the fuck away, Chuck!"

**Chuck:** "Don't leave me with them!"

**Dean:** "Rule 12: No Cas and Gabriel in the same room!"

**Gabriel:** "You just made that up!"

**Dean:** "No I didn't! It's a rule!"

**Gabriel:** "Lemme see!"

**Dean:** "Rule 12: Only Dean can read the rules!"

**Gabriel:** "Liar!"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Okay! Who wants to room with me?"

**Dean:** "NOT ME!"

**Gabriel:** "NOT ME!"

**Chuck:** "NOT ME!"

**Bobby:** "NOT ME!"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Well, fine! I didn't want to room with you dumbfucks anyway!"

**Sam:** "Why don't we all just think of a number between 1 and 3. The number you choose will be your room."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Now share. No changing! 2."

**Dean:** "1."

**Chuck:** "3."

**Bobby:** "3. . . .Fuck."

**Chuck:** "Yes!"

**Michael:** "2."

**Gabriel:** "1."

**Cas:** "2."

**Lucifer:** "4. Just kidding! 1."

**Dean:** "HOLY FUCK! I GOT LUCIFER AND FUCKING GABRIEL IN ONE ROOM? JESUS MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!"

**Gabriel:** "Hey! Rulebreaker! No yelling!"

**Dean:** "This sucks monkey balls. . . ."

**Chuck:** "Woo! Just me and the Bobster!"

**Bobby:** "Don't ever fucking call me that ever again."

**Chuck:** "I'm too happy not to care about your threat."

**Michael:** "I quite like this arrangement."

**Cas:** "Agreed, it is nice."

**Sam:** "I'm sooo lucky. I guess the good karma prize was worth it."

**Lucifer:** "This is just going to be like a slumber party!"

**Gabriel:** "We can stay up late eating chocolate and pies and watch late night TV!"

**Lucifer:** "Yeah!"

**Dean:** "Ohmygod. . . .just kill me now, Cas."

**Cas:** "It'll be okay, Dean. My brothers are not that bad."

**Dean:** "Have you met your brothers?"

**Lucifer:** "Can we go into the motel now, please?"

. . . . . . .

**Worker:** "Hi! How many rooms?"

**Lucifer:** "12!"

**Michael:** "Quiet. Three, please."

**Worker:** "All single bed?"

**Bobby:** "NO!"

**Dean:** "NO!"

**Gabriel:** "Psst!"

**Lucifer:** "What?"

**Gabriel:** "You think he's a Pagan God?"

**Lucifer:** "Nooo!. . . Really? Yah think?"

**Gabriel:** "Let's find out!"

**Lucifer:** "Okay!"

**Bobby:** "Do something stupid and I swear to God, I'll kill you."

**Gabriel:** "What? What are you and Daddy gonna do, huh?"

**Bobby:** "Tell Dean, who'll kill you, who will tell Sam and he'd withdraw sex for a year."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "So?"

**Gabriel:** "NO! Uhh, he looks very human to me!"

**Lucifer:** "But-"

**Gabriel:** "SHUT UP!"

**Worker:** "Here are the keys."

**Chuck:** "Thanks."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Pagan God. . . ."

. . . . . . .

**Dean:** "Rule 13: Dean gets a bed."

**Gabriel:** "I get the other!"

**Lucifer:** "Hey! No fair!"

**Dean: **"Go ahead. Fight to the death."

**Lucifer:** "NO! Last time we did that, it looked like a threesome!"

**Gabriel: **"So you did have one!"

**Lucifer:** "Read some more rules!"

**Dean:** "Rule 14: No genital herpes."

**Lucifer:** "Hehehehehehehe. . . .wait. Does that mean Sam gave genital herpes to Gabriel?"

**Gabriel:** "NO!"

. . . . . . . .

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Sooo, who wants a bed? I kind of want one. . . ."

**Cas:** "It does not matter."

**Michael:** "Me and Cas will share. We are brothers."

**Cas:** "Very well."

**Sam:** "Okay, cool."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .Wow. You guys don't say much."

**Michael:** ". . . .Yes."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .Wow. I'm bored and this is awkward."

. . . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Aren't you happy, Bobby? I'm happy."

**Bobby:** "Yes, I know, Chuck."

**Chuck:** "Just so happy. Just so, so, so happy!"

**Bobby:** "Are you high?"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Maybe a little."

. . . . .

**Dean:** "Rule 15: No breaking the Impala. Rule 16: No apocalypse. Rule 17: No losing the game. . . .Fuck. Rule 18: No Daleks. Rule 19: Only Team Jacob."

**Lucifer:** "NO! TEAM EDWARD!"  
**Gabriel:** "TEAM GABRIEL!"

**Dean:** "Hey! Rule 10: No yelling! Rule 20: Dean's awesome. Rule 21: Dean's batman. Rule 22: No purple nurples. Rule 23: Keep Sam from losing his shoe."

**Gabriel:** "I know! He keeps losing his shoes!"

. . . . .

**Sam:** ". . . .Uh, hey. Where's my left shoe?"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Did I forget to pack it?. . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .I lost my shoe."

. . . . .

**Dean:** "Rule 24: After this convention-road-trip-thing, hunt down the fabric softner bear. Rule 25: Don't let Chuck near the phone to call girls."

**Gabriel:** "How is that bad? That shouldn't be a rule."

**Lucifer:** "Who knew Chuck knew girls."

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Hey, can I use your phone?"

**Bobby:** ". . . .Why?"

**Chuck:** ". . . .To call. . . .my mom."

**Bobby: **"No."

**Chuck:** "Please? I need to call my mom! I miss my moms!"

**Bobby:** "'Mom's'? As in plural?"

**Chuck:** "Uhhh. . . ."

. . . . .

**Dean:** "Rule 26: Don't let Sam near the glue."

**Gabriel:** "He told me you glued a bottle to your hand."

**Dean:** "Rule 27: No Crowley. Rule 27-"

**Lucifer:** "How many are there?"

**Dean:** "A LOT. Rule 27: bowties are cool. Rule 28: Dean is always right. Rule 29: No making fun of the rules."

**Gabriel:** "Ugghhh. . . .this is soooo boring. . . . ."

**Dean:** "That's all."

**Gabriel:** "THAT'S ALL? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE 30 RULES!"

**Dean:** ". . . .So?"

**Gabriel:** "Me and Lucifer are gonna make our own list!"

. . . . .

**Bobby: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Chuck?"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Yeah?"

**Bobby:** "Get out of my bed."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Okay. . . .I just-I just miss my mom. . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . .You sleep with your mom?"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Depends which one. I don't do blondes. Only red heads and brunettes."

**Bobby:** ". . . .What? How many moms you got?"

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

. . . . .

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam: **". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .Bored."


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Gabriel:** "Rule 1: Cake. Rule 2: If pie, CHOCOLATE. Rule 3: Dean's a moron. Rule 4: Lucifer's a bigger moron. Rule 5: Gabe and Sammy in the same room. Rule 6: Gabe and Sammy in the same bed. Rule 6: Late night TV rules."

**Lucifer:** "Rule 7: Dean was missing a Rule 3. Rule 8: Dean's checking his list now. Rule 9: Dean is thinking 'sonofabitch!' Rule 10: Llamas are cool. Rule 11: Chuck looks like a Hobo. Rule 12: Smells like one, too."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Rule 13: Bert and Ernie are not gay. Rule 14: Only because Dean thinks so. Rule 15: Whatever Dean thinks is wrong. Rule 16: Pudding! Rule 17: Probing aliens probed Lucifer."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Rule 18: Holy Fire SUCKS. Rule 19: No Holy Fire. Rule 20: Rule 19 refers to everyone but Sammy. Rule 21: If I zap Dean, he won't poop for a week."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Rule 22: Serenity is never key. Rule 23: No smiting. Rule 24: Lucifer is the best driver in the world. Rule 25: The Impala is fucking ugly as shit. Rule 26: Crash or hit it to make it look prettier. Rule 27: I SLIPPED ON A FUCKING BANANA PEEL. Rule 28: Michael's a fucking liar. Rule 29: 'Idjit' is not real word. Rule 30: Lucifer can spell 'Dictionary' and tell time."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

. . . . .

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .So, how was your guy's day?"

**Cas:** ". . . .Long."

**Michael:** ". . . .Tiring."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .Good talk, team."

. . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Rule 31: Richard Speight Jr. PWNS. Rule 32: Gabe hates Becky. Rule 33: Sammy and Dean must always say 'bitch, jerk' Rule 34: No more purple nurples for Dean. Rule 35: Dean does not have perky nipples. Rule 36: Sammy does. Rule 37: Neither are Dean's boobs real. Rule 38: If on fire, stop drop and roll."

**Lucifer:** "Rule 39: 'Wind Beneath My Wings' FTW. Rule 40: Justin Bieber is a girl. Rule 41: I mean boy. Rule 42: Girl. Rule 43: Boy. Rule 44: Gender unknown. Rule 45: Unicorns are real. . . .in North America. Rule 46: Dad loved me best."

Gabriel: "Rule 47: Ice cream is awesome. Rule 48: Cas is a virgin. Rule 49: Not anymore. Rule 50: Insurance is not porn. Rule 51: Dean's afraid of flying. Rule 52: We're going to Hawaii. Rule 53: Cas is awesome when stoned. . . .and high. . . .and on drugs. Rule 54: Toilet paper is gold. Rule 55: Chuck hordes toilet paper. Rule 56: Sammy goes 'blah blah blah blah blah blah blah' Rule 57: Sam's laptop is frozen on 'Busty Asian Beauties.'"

**Dean: **". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "I really love our list!"

**Gabriel:** "I knows! It's fucking better that Elmo's over there!"

**Lucifer:** "Rule 57: Dean's Elmo."

. . . . .

**Chuck:** "Heeeyyy."

**Bobby: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .I said, 'Heeeeyy'!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "HEEEYY!"

**Bobby:** "Touch my phone and I will shove you into the wheel chair and out the side window and watch you bleed on the pavement. Have Raphael bring you back and do it again."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Is that a 'no', then?"

**. . . . .**

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

. . . . .

**Lucifer:** "Rule 58: Dean calls it 'the Blue Steel' Rule 59: He just looks constipated. Rule 60: Someone has a neighbor named 'Mr. Rogers' Rule 61: Dean is NOT adorable. Rule 62: Gabriel's short. Rule 63: Sammy's such a control freak. Rule 63: Gabe likes Rule 63. Rule 64: No chick flick moments. Rule 65: Trust Sammy, Gordon's taken care of. Rule 66: You called that taken care of?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Rule 67: Sammy is watching 'Casa Erotica'. Rule 68: Awkward. Rule 69: 69 is a cool number, just FYI. Rule 70: Dean always does scissors. Rule 71: I can't believe we keep talking about clowns. Rule 72: How much more gay could Sammy be? Rule 73: Business up front, party in the back. Rule 74: 'Dr. Badass is in' was originally Gabe's. Rule 75: Holy shit, we're on 75. Rule 76: Bring quarters. Rule 77: Sammy is 'Weirdy McWeirderson'."

. . . . .

**Chuck: **"Mommy. . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Mommy. . . ."

**Bobby: **"Chuck . . . ."

**Chuck:** "I miss you, Mommy. . . ."

**Bobby:** "Shuddaup."

. . . . .

**Lucifer: **"Rule 78: Dean might be 'Pokey' Rule 79: Gabe is still short. Rule 80: No losing the Game. Rule 81: FUCK."

**Gabriel:** "I said to take the rule off!"

**Lucifer:** "It doesn't matter, it's too late!"

**Gabriel:** "Fucking hell!"

**Lucifer:** "Rule 82: Sammy thinks about fairytales often. Rule 83: Dean is more like a ninja. . . .more like batman. Rule 84: Say 'Fudge' instead. Rule 85: No one likes Rule 84."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Rule 86: The boys can't sing Christmas carols to save their lives. Rule 87: Dude, you fugly. Rule 88: He was talking to Lucifer. Rule 89: Never shoot Casper in the face. Rule 90: Cas is on a bender. Rule 91: Astronauts eat too much candy. Rule 92: ASTRONAUT! Rule 93: Don't let Cupid hug you. Rule 94: Cas can't do personal space. Rule 95: Michael is an assbutt because Cas said so. Rule 96: Cas can't do voicemail. Rule 97: Cas is almost out of minutes, the voice said so. Rule 98: Cas is there now, so he's going to hang up now."

**Lucifer:** "Hey! My turn! Dean is tired of hearing your crappy voice!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Whatever. I'm gonna add stuff."

**Lucifer:** "Rule 99: Don't ask Cas stupid questions. Rule 100: Cas did see when Dean broke the angel statue. Rule 101: Cas did not fart. Rule 102: It was probably Sammy. Rule 103: Or Dean with a whoopy cusion. Rule 104: Rule 105: Raphael is Cas' little bitch."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Rule 106: Burgers make Cas very happy. Rule 10-How do you say this number?"

**Gabriel:** "108, Dixie chick."

**Lucifer:** "Rule 108: Dean is afraid of cats. Rule 109: Never, ever play 'Eye of the Tiger' is drunk. Rule 110: Or sober."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

. . . . .

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .So, how do you like the room?"

**Cas:** ". . . .It is nice."

**Michael:** ". . . .I like it."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "Rule 111: Cas is not bored, just confused. Rule 112: Always. Rule 113: If-you-are-reading-this-you-are-a-motherfucker. . . .Hey!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Who put that on there?. . . . .Hehehehehe."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Rule 114: Dean likes to say 'sonofabitch' al lot. Rule 115: Cas does orgys. Rule 116: Only in 2014, though. Rule 117: Gabe thinks Lucifer is one great big bag of dicks. Rule 118: Rule 117 is true. Rule 119: Dean likes to wear short shorts."

**Dean:** "SHUT THE FUCK UP, I'M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP, YOU FUCKING SONS OF BITCHES!"

**Lucifer:** "No yelling, Dean! Oh, if you were sleeping, did you hear the beginning?"

**Gabriel:** "Would you like us to start over?"

**Dean:** "FUCKING SHUT UP!"

. . . . .

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .So, how'd—I'm not even going to try."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

Note: I just made a Twitter! Follow me 11DoctorFTW. Yes, I know I'm obsessed with DW.

**Dean:** "Holy fuck. . . .just please. . .go to sleep. . . .or die."

**Gabriel:** "Hey, I just noticed, we skipped 107."

**Lucifer:** "Are we gonna start over?"

**Gabriel:** "Fuck, yeah!"

**Lucifer:** "Like, from 1?"

**Dean:** "Can you like take that pencil and stick it in your neck?"

. . . . . .

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Sam:** "You know what makes it weird? We're not sleeping, we're just sitting here."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** ". . . .I'm stuck on band aid brand cos band aid's stuck on me."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .I'm stuck on band aid brand cos band aid's help heal me."

**Bobby:** "Shut up, idjit."

**Chuck:** "One shot, two shots, three shots, floor."

**Bobby:** "Is that how many bullets it's gonna take to put you down?"

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "My life sucks. No, this world sucks!"

**Gabriel:** "Hey chucklehead, if the world didn't suck we'd all fall off. Be optimistic."

**Lucifer:** "Really? I'm like suctioned cupped to the floor?"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah. You have a plunger up your ass to help you stay on Earth."

**Lucifer:** "Really?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Cool."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .My brain's fried, I can't think of anymore rules."

**Dean:** "Good. Be quiet and go to sleep."

**Lucifer:** "I'm not tired!"

**Gabriel:** "You know, Dad taught us to walk and talk, and all I hear is 'sit down and shut up'."

**Lucifer:** "That's because the sound of your voice is grating. Mine's is like a symphony."

**Gabriel:** "A symphony of French Canadian rock and roll."

**Dean:** "God, why have you forsaken me?"

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "He who laughs last, thinks slowest."

**Bobby:** "No more fortune cookies."

**Chuck:** "I had Chinese food."

**Bobby:** "No more Chinese food."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Let's talk."

**Bobby:** "About. . . .?"

**Chuck:** "Okay, well one time with Becky, she was on the phone for hours and I told her to get off and she was like 'OMG' and then I was like 'OMG' which made her like 'OMFG' and I was like 'bitch, OMFG'-"

**Bobby:** ". . . .I need a beer."

**Chuck:** "—and then I was like 'WTF' and of course she was like 'WTF' and that made me go 'OMG' which she went-"

**Bobby:** ". . . .I also need an apocalypse."

. . . . . . .

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .This is the best quiet game ever."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **". . . ."

**Sam:** "Oh! I know, I'll teach you Cas how to change the voicemail thing!"

**Cas:** "Is it not sufficient right now?"

**Michael:** "Voicemail?"

**Sam:** "It's just weird. Here, listen: 'You've reached the voicemail of, I don't understand—why do you want me to say my name? beep beep beep beep beep beep beeeeppp'! C'mon, that's not normal!"

**Cas:** "I did not understand the importance of saying my name."

**Sam:** "It's coz—It's just coz, Cas. C'mon try it again."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** "I still don't understand. . . ."

**Sam:** "Why not listen to Michael's?"

**Michael:** "Uhh-wait. . . ."

**Sam:** "I'm calling. . . . 'You've reached the voicemail of, the all powerful Archangel Michael who smites platypuses and tacos. Beeeppp'!"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Uhhhhh, what? Tacos and Platypuses? You're as bad as Cas!"

**Michael:** "Shut up, I was on a bender."

**Sam:** "Did you just say on a bender?"

**Cas:** "I think I understand now."

. . . . . . . .

**Chuck:** "But then I was like 'fine!' and she was all like 'fine!'-"

**Bobby:** "As much as I'm enjoying this little heart-to-heart, I really need to shoot you know."

**Chuck:** "But I have Raphael protecting me!"

**Bobby:** "Well, I don't see him. I think the reason he never shows around you is because you talk your ass off!. . . .At least you don't have all this teen drama crap in your books."

**Chuck:** "Well, I was going to make an autobiography, show how everything got started. Growing up and writing and meeting strange people. . . .What do you think?"

**Bobby:** "Do you really wanna know what I think, boy?"

**Chuck:** ". . . .Maybe not. I'll just send you a copy."

**Bobby:** "I'll use it for firewood."

**Chuck:** "It's going to be the next 'Twilight'!"

. . . . . .

**Sam:** "Here, try and listen to mine."

**Michael:** "Why? Are you saying yours is better? Are you better than us?"

**Sam:** "What? No-"

**Cas:** "Sam is an abomination. We are Angels of the Lord."

**Michael:** "Whoa, Sam, whoa. Never thought you'd think that, Dean maybe, but you?"

**Sam:** "Just listen, you freaks."

**Michael:** "Whoa, name calling now, Sam?"

**Sam:** "Cas called me an abomination!"

**Michael:** "Whoa, don't whine!"

**Cas:** "Don't mess with the nerdy angels, Sam. Didn't Dean tell you?"

**Sam:** "Just listen!. . . . 'You've reached the voicemail of, Sam Winchester you know the drill. Beeeeppp'. See? Simple."

**Michael:** "Wow, that was fucking boring. I don't wanna leave you a message."

**Sam:** "I can see why Dean hates Angels. . . ."

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "I HATE ANGELS SO MUCH!"

**Gabriel:** "You keep breaking your own rules, Dean-o."

**Dean:** "I need sleep. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Sleeps for gay people."

**Dean:** "Shut up."

**Lucifer:** "What are you gonna do? Hit me with your purse?"

**Dean:** "Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"

**Gabriel: **"Wow, someone's wide awake! You have so much energy tonight!"

**Lucifer:** "Let's play a game! Not the quiet game."

**Dean:** "First to sleep wins."

**Lucifer:** "Nah, I'll lose. . . .what about Wii?"

**Gabriel:** "Does it look like we have one?"

**Lucifer:** "Pictionary?"

**Dean:** "I'll play, one round, though!"

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Shit."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Fuck."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Yesss!-shit-Fuck."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Woo-hoo! Yahtzee! "

**Chuck:** "Damnit! You cheated."

**Bobby:** "Nope."

**Chuck:** "Dangit, I can't write my book now! I hate betting!"

**Bobby:** "Write that in your book—oh wait, you can't. There's no book!"

. . . . . . .

**Dean:** "C'mon! You're so close!"

**Lucifer:** "Let's see that triangle with wings is-a boat!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Lucifer: **"A tree! A flying tree!"

**Gabriel:** "Shut up, asshole! It's an Angel!"

**Dean:** "Yes! Which one?"

**Lucifer:** "Me!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Lucifer:** "Michael!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Lucifer:** "Cas!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Lucifer:** "Uriel!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Lucifer:** "Zachy!"

**Dean:** "NO!"

**Lucifer:** "Uhhhhh. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Stupid ass, forgetting the best one! Me! Gabriel!"

**Dean:** "Yes! Okay, nexxxtttt. . . . ."

**Lucifer:** "A man! A man with a string! A hanged man! Hung!"

**Dean:** "Holy shit, you got it!"

**Lucifer:** "A monkey! A cloud! A cactus!"

**Dean:** "Shut up! You guessed it already! Moving on. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "You're drawing a circle. . . .another circle. . . .another circle. . . .a bunch of circles. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Uhhh. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "The sun! Pluto! A balloon!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Lucifer:** "A square! An eye! An orange!"

**Dean:** "No! Last one was close!"

**Lucifer:** "A lemon! A watermelon! Oooh, ooh, a banana!"

**Dean:** "NOOO!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Grapes?"

**Dean:** "YES! And put it all together. . . . "

**Lucifer:** " Cas is a monkey with a banana!"

**Dean:** "No!"

**Lucifer:** "Michael is a cactus on Pluto!"

**Dean:** "NOOOO!"

**Lucifer:** "Gabriel's hung like grapes!"

**Dean:** "YESSS!"

**Gabriel:** "WHAT? DICK!"

**Dean:** "WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**Gabriel:** "LIAR!"

**Lucifer:** "I don't get it. . . .I like Lucifer is a cloud with a watermelon."

. . . . . . .

**Cas:** "Okay, I changed it."

**Sam:** "Let's hear it."

**Cas:** "You're going to be so proud of me. I did what you and Michael did."

**Michael:** "Play it."

**Cas:** "Hold on. . . . 'You've reached the voicemail of, Castiel Angel of the Lord and property of Dean Winchester. Beeeepppp'."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** "Is that good?"

**Michael:** "I like it."

**Sam:** ". . . . Let's just sit quietly together."


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Dean:** "Stop being such a sore loser, Gabriel. Get over it."

**Gabriel:** "I'm not a sore loser! You're the one spreading lies!"

**Dean:** "It's not a lie!"

**Gabriel:** "Sam doesn't think I'm hung like grapes!"

**Lucifer:** "Are you sure?"

**Gabriel: **"You stay out of it, pixiestick!"

**Sam:** "Hey, Can I stay in here for a while? It's too quiet in my room."

. . . . .

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . .Oh, Sam's gone."

. . . . .

**Sam:** "So, what are you talking about?"

**Lucifer:** "How you think Gabriel is hung like grapes."

**Sam:** ". . . .What?"

**Gabriel:** "HE DOESN'T THINK THAT!"

**Dean:** "Let him speak for himself!"

**Gabriel: **"IT DOESN'T MATTER, HE DOESN'T THINK THAT!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "It's okay, Gabriel, some people—Angels are like that."

**Gabriel:** "SHUT UP!"

**Dean:** "God made you like that. You're special."

**Lucifer:** "One of a kind."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Shut the hell up, muttonheads!"

**Dean:** "Well, it's a good thing Sam doesn't base you off of that, he's more of a looks-no, personality kind of guy."

**Lucifer:** "And, you're a waay too much personality guy!"

**Gabriel:** "Well, I don't know why Cas is going out with you! You're too fat."

**Dean:** "I'm not fat!"

**Gabriel:** "One more bacon burger and you might explode French fries."

**Lucifer:** "Or ketchup."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Shut up!"

**Gabriel:** "What? I can't understand you; get that pie outta your mouth."

**Lucifer:** "Fattie McFatterson is in the building!"

**Sam:** "It's like watching 'the Three Stooges'!"

**Lucifer:** "Dean has fish sticks for fingers, a tomato as a nose, two olives for eyes and a fish for a brain. It's like 'Frosty the Ice Cream Man!'"

**Dean:** "I'm gonna kill you!"

**Gabriel:** "Or eat us."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "If I gave you a hug, will my arms reach all the way around?"

**Dean:** "Touch me, I'll shoot you."

**Gabriel:** "Don't play with your food, Dean."

**Sam:** ". . . .I'll just be going."

**Dean:** "I'm not fat!—Or a cannibal!"

**Lucifer: **"We're not humans, we're Angels."

**Gabriel:** "We taste like 'Angel Cake'!"

**Lucifer:** "Oh! I know! You wanna eat Gabriel's grapes!"

**Dean:** "NO!"

**Gabriel:** "FUCK NO!"

. . . . .

**Bobby:** "No."

**Chuck:** "Please?"

**Bobby:** "No."

**Sam: **"Hey, guys. Can I stay with you for a while?"

**Chuck:** "What about your brother and Angel lover in the other room?"

**Sam:** "I can't take it in there."

**Bobby: **"Sit down."

**Sam:** "Thanks."

**Chuck:** "Since we got one more, what about poker?"

**Bobby:** "No."

**Chuck:** "Blackjack?"

**Sam:** "Cards?"

**Chuck:** "Yeah, I'm trying to win."

**Bobby:** "Boy, you ain't ever gonna beat me at cards."

**Sam:** "You don't wanna play hunters who hustle their whole lives, Chuck."

**Bobby:** "You're a damn fool."

**Chuck:** "I wanna write my book! I NEED to write my book! I need money!"

**Bobby:** "For what? More booze and mommies?"

**Chuck:** "No!—Well, yeah. And food and shelter. . . .War? Speed?"

**Bobby:** "No. Ask Sam."

**Sam:** "Sur-"

**Chuck:** "NO! I need to play you!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Egyptian war?"

**Bobby:** "No."

**Chuck:** "Killer?"

**Bobby:** "No."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Uno?"

**Bobby:** "No."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Bullshit? FU?"

**Bobby:** "What the hell did you just say to me, kid?"

**Chuck:** "Bullshit?"

**Bobby:** "The other one."

**Chuck:** ". . . .FU?"

**Bobby:** "Yeah, I'm gonna shoot you."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "What? No! It's called 'FU'!"

**Bobby:** "In the head. I'm going to shoot you in the head."

**Chuck:** "No! It's called 'FU!' FU!"

**Bobby:** "In the balls too."

**Sam:** "Chuck, I said I'll play you."

**Chuck:** "C'mon old man! Just one game!"

**Bobby:** "Who you callin' old man, you drunk hippie?"

**Chuck:** "Double or nothing!"

**Bobby:** "You have nothing!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

. . . . .

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Hey guys. I should have never left you!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "I love you guy so much! Even the awkward pauses!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Dean and Gabe wouldn't stop yelling at each other! Dean was all like 'You're junkless' and Gabe was like 'Well, you're fat' which made Dean go 'you're still junkless' and it made Gabe go 'You're still fat' and I was like 'Shut the fuck already' and they were like- "

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

Sam: "—'blah blah blah!' So, I ditched them and migrated to Bobby and Chuck's. Chuck was all like 'let's play cards!' and Bobby was like 'Get the fuck out of here' and Chuck wouldn't shut up 'play me this, play me that!' and I was like 'I'll play' and he was like 'Fuck off, Sam' and Bobby was like 'Fuck off, Chuck' and Chuck was all like 'Play me! Play me! PLAY ME!' and Bobby had his 'Fuck you' face on and I was like 'Fuckin' A' so I left and now I'm back here.."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .I love this!"

. . . . .

**Dean:** "I'm not fat, junkless!"

**Gabriel:** "Well, I'm not junkless, McIdiot!"

**Lucifer:** "Blah blah blah, yell yell yell!"

**Gabriel:** "Go stuff your face."

**Dean: **"Get bent. Oh, wait you can't."

**Gabriel:** "Shut it, chicken nugget!"

**Lucifer:** "Blah blah blah!"

**Dean:** "Make me 'Moby Small Dick'!"

**Lucifer:** "Yell yell yell!"

**Gabriel:** "What the fuck are you doin?"

**Lucifer:** "Being a part of the fight!"

**Dean:** "You know, the whole time Sam was in here, he did NOT disagree with me!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

**Dean:** "So suck it!"

**Gabriel:** "SAMMY!"

. . . . .

**Chuck: **". . . ."

**Bobby:** "I'm winning! I'm winning!"

**Chuck: **"Shut up! It ain't over yet!"

**Bobby:** "I'm so close! Sooo close!"

**Chuck:** ". . . .That's what she said."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .HA!"

**Bobby:** "Damnit. . . .Whatever."

**Chuck:** "Wooo!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Yeeesss!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Yaaayyy-wait, what?"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Nonononono-"

**Bobby:** "GOLDFISH!"

**Chuck:** "NOOOO! FUCK NO! FUCK NOOOOO!"

**Bobby:** "Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooooo!"

**Chuck: **"No! My book! You can't make me!"

**Bobby:** "You should of prophesized that, prophet boy!"


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

Note: This chapter is inspired by my trip to the mall with my friend. All the jokes were what we said to each other. Can you imagine that? Me the author, saying these things less than 24 hours ago?

**Sam: **"Good morning, guys!"

**Lucifer:** "'Morning, Antichrist."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "How was your night, last night?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Loud."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Mines was awesome! It was nice and quiet!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer: **". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "I actually got to sleep! Because it was soooo nice and quiet!"

**Dean:** "Shut up, Sam!"

**Gabriel:** "Shut up, Sam!"

**Chuck:** "Go to hell!"

**Bobby:** "Shut up!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Yeah, Sam! . . . .Why are we yelling at Sam?"

**Sam:** ". . . .What? It was just a question."

. . . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "They've been asleep in the backseat for three hours."

**Cas:** "Maybe they are tired."

**Sam:** ". . . .I can't believe we wrote on their foreheads!"

**Michael:** "I know! Hahahahaha!"

**Cas:** "Dean says: Batman, Lucifer says: Dumbass, Chuck says: Bangin' whores."

**Michael:** "Gabriel says: Oompa loompa from Munchkinland and Bobby says: Ex-crippled!"

**Sam:** "This is gonna be hilarious!"

**Michael:** "Should I wake them up?"

**Sam:** "No, they're gonna be grouchy."

**Michael:** ". . . .Hehehehehehe."

**Sam:** "What?"

**Michael:** "Just thinking about when Gabriel wakes up on Dean's lap and Chuck on Lucy's!"

**Sam:** "Gabriel will explode and Lucifer will implode!"

**Cas:** "And poor Bobby, glued in the middle. . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .Maybe we shouldn't wake them up. . . .EVER."

**Michael:** "Yeah, shit's gonna hit the fan."

**Cas:** ". . . .What fan? I do not understand your references."

**Sam:** "It's okay, Cas. It's okay. . . .How does Dean put up with him? All Dean ever does is make stupid references to other crap."

**Michael:** "There's a sign. 'Mall of America one miles'. Let's go and eat breakfast."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "We're in Minnesota? Cool."

**Michael:** "Wake them idiots up."

**Cas: **"But you said it was unwise."

**Sam:** "Ohh! Cas, touch Gabe's forehead. He'll think I kissed him, and kiss Lucifer back!"

**Cas:** ". . . .Yes."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Mmph. Good morning to you to, Samm—AAAHHHHH!"

**Dean:** ". . . .Cas stop-huh?"

**Cas:** "Hello, Dean."

**Dean:** "What-the—AAAAHHH!"

**Lucifer:** "AAAHH!. . . .WHAT ARE WE YELLING ABOUT? EWWW! GET THIS HOBO OFF ME!"

**Chuck:** "I was sleeping gu—AAAHH! I'M ON THE DEVIL'S LAP! I'M ON THE DEVIL'S LAP!"

**Bobby:** ". . . .Fuck."

**Michael:** "WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

**Sam:** "HAHAHAHAHAHA! Fuckin' A, dude!"

**Dean:** "GET THE FUCK OFF, GABRIEL!"

**Gabriel:** "First off, Ew. That sounded kinky. Second, DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CAN? Third, why the hell is 'BATMAN' on your forehead?"

**Dean:** "Huh?"

**Lucifer:** "Hahahaha! Chuck says 'BANGIN WHORES'! Dude, good job!"

**Chuck: **"It does? Cool. I mean, I don't bang whores!"

**Bobby: **"Only mommies."

**Dean:** "Wahahahahaha! Gabriel you are an oompa loompa from Munchkinland!"

**Gabriel:** "What?"

**Chuck:** "Yours says 'DUMBASS'."

**Lucifer:** "It should say 'LLAMA' instead. Bobby, yours says 'EX-CRIPPLED'."

**Bobby: **". . . .Fucking idjits. I'm gonna fucking kill you, boy."

**Sam:** "Hahahaha—sorry—haha-couldn't help myself. MICHAEL DID IT!"

**Michael: **"Hey!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Holy shit, when I get out of the fucking car, I'm gonna fucking kill you, you motherfucker!"

**Cas:** "We are here at the 'Mall of America'."

**Lucifer:** "Yay! Breakfast!"

**Bobby:** "You mean I gotta walk around people, with this shit on my head?"

**Dean:** "Dude! That sucks!"

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "Ooooh!"

**Dean:** "Fuck. It's huge."

**Gabriel:** "Thanks, I know."

**Dean:** "Fuck off, midget."

**Michael:** "Interesting."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "Fuck. Is it Christmas?"

**Sam:** "Santa!"

**Chuck:** "You're such a child."

**Dean: **"Well. I don't wanna stay with y'all. So, me and Cas will be going. Later, bitches."

**Gabriel:** "Oooh! Let's go, Sammy!"

**Sam:** "Okay. Wait, I gotta walk around with you and that crap on your head? Fuucck!"

**Gabriel:** "Karma's a bitch, bitch!"

**Bobby:** "See yah."

**Chuck:** "Wait!"

**Bobby:** "Get the fuck away, Chuck!"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . .Damnit."

**Lucifer:** "Heeeyyy buuudddddyyy!"

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "FUCK OFF, GABRIEL! Leave, Sam!"

**Sam:** "I'm trying."

**Gabriel:** "NO! I wanna be with Cas and Sammy!"

**Dean:** "No! It's just me and Cas!"

**Cas:** "I do not mind."

**Gabriel:** "See? He loves me!"

**Sam:** "I wanna see Santa!"

**Dean:** "Not the kids? You told that elf chick you just wanted to watch!"

**Sam:** "That wasn't my fault!"

**Gabriel:** "What a creeper!"

**Sam:** "Can we just go now, please?"

**Gabriel:** "OH! You wanna sit on Santa, and get his CANDYCANE, huh?"

**Sam:** "What? He gives out candyca—EW! THAT'S GROSS, GABE!"

**Gabriel:** "So, you don't want his CANDYCANE?"

**Dean:** "Look what you did Cas, you unleashed Santa's Naughty Angel on us!"

**Cas:** ". . . .I'm sorry; I did not listen to a word you just said. That's a big candy cane."

**Dean:** "It's fake. Plastic."

**Gabriel:** "WAHAHAHAHA CAS THINKS SANTA HAS A BIG CANDY CANE!"

**Sam:** "Shhhh, be quiet!"

**Cas:** "Does Sam still want to go?"

**Sam:** "NO."

**Dean:** "Is that Lucifer?"

. . . . . .

**Michael:** "I can't believe this. . . ."

**Santa:** "And what do you want for Christmas, Uhhhh little, uh, boy?"

**Lucifer:** "A llama! An apocalypse, better brothers, this shit off my forehead, Michael to go fuck himself, hell on earth, ice cream- "

**Santa:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "This is embarrassing. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "—and are you really Santa? Because Santa is like, a pagan god, and I HATE pagan gods."

**Santa:** "Well-"

**Lucifer: **"Can I kill him?"

**Michael:** "NO."

**Santa:** "Okay, well, you're waaay too old, so here's your candy cane and leave. NEVER COME BACK."

. . . . .

**Gabriel:** "HAHAHAHAHA! Lucifer got Santa's Candy cane!"

**Dean:** "Don't be so perverted."

**Gabriel: **"Can't help it, it's a gift."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Hey, Lucy! Is it BIG AND SWEET?"

. . . . .

**Bobby:** "What, Chuck? What?"

**Chuck:** "Nothing. Where are we going?"

**Bobby:** "Well, I've been trying to lose you in this crowd."

**Chuck:** "Oh."

**Bobby:** "I'll try again."

**Chuck:** "Wait!"

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "Hey, Michael! Are you jealous that Santa gave me his candy cane?"

**Michael: **"No. And thanks to our loudmouthed brother, that sounded soooooo wrong!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . . .EEEWWW!"

**Michael:** "Pfft, Santa gave you his CANDY CANE! Is it BIG?"

**Lucifer: **"Shut up! Not like mine!"

**Michael:** "Could you handle his CANDY CANE?"

**Lucifer:** "Shut up!"

. . . . .

**Gabriel:** "Oooh! Let's go into 'Fun Factory'!"

**Sam:** "No."

**Gabriel:** "C'mon! Please? Pretty please?"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Pretty please with a naked Gabriel on top?"

**Dean:** "NO!"

**Cas:** "This 'Fun Factory' place looks intriguing. I want to go."

**Dean:** "Okay."

**Gabriel:** "Woo! High 5, Cas!"

**Cas: **"What is a 'high 5'?"

**Gabriel:** "Ruining the moment, Cas!"

. . . . .

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "Wanna go and sit on his lap again?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "He'll give you more."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael: **"I thought you said you can handle his CANDY CANE?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "That word on your forehead should say 'NUMB ASS' not 'DUMB ASS'!"

**Lucifer:** "I think you want his CANDY CANE, because you keep talking about it!"

**Michael:** "No!"

**Lucifer:** "You're all jealous that I got his CANDY CANE and you didn't!"

**Michael:** "Shut up! Wait, are you admitting you liked his CANDY CANE?"

**Lucifer:** "FUCK NO!"

. . . . . .

**Bobby:** ". . . .Yes. I think I lost him."

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "Damn. I lost him. . . .Oh! Brain blast!"

. . . . .

**Dean:** "Let's play. . . .this one!"

**Cas:** "How do you play?"

**Dean:** "Well, you're racing me. All you have to do, it shoot the water at that spot. It'll make that rise and whose ever rises first, wins."

**Cas:** ". . . .Okay. Is this life and death?"

**Dean: **"What? No."

**Cas:** "I do not like guns."

**Dean:** "Don't worry. Ready? 1, 2, 3 GO!"

**Sam:** "Go Cas!"

**Gabriel:** "OOHH! I know why you wanted to play this game! Dean just wanted to SHOOT HIS LOAD!"

**Sam:** "Gabe. . . ."

**Dean:** "Shut the hell up, Gabriel!"

**Gabriel:** "Dean your losing! Cas is SHOOTING HIS LOAD FIRST!"

**Cas:** ". . . .I'm winning?"

**Dean:** "Yeah."

**Gabriel:** "Faster, Dean! You gotta SHOOT YOUR LOAD faster!. . . .You're so slow at SHOOTING YOUR LOAD!"

**Dean:** "Shut up!"

**Sam:** "Guys! There are kids around! And angry parents look like they wanna kill us."

. . . . . .

**Michael:** "Been so wrapped up with the apocalypse, Chuck's shitty convention, this fucked up road trip. . . .didn't know it was Christmas time already. Or even December. We need a calendar."

**Lucifer:** "You know, it's pretty gross that parents let their kids go on Santa's lap and get his CANDY CANE. Don't you think it's disgusting?"

**Michael:** "No!. . . .Now I do. . . ."

**Lucifer:** "It's like. . . .a CANDY CANE AND TWO CHESTNUTS. . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . .Shut the fuck up."

**Lucifer:** "You're the one who started it!"

**Michael:** "What?"

**Lucifer:** "You're the one who took it the wrong way!"

**Michael:** "Because you laced it with subliminal messaging! You wanted me to!"

**Lucifer:** "No I didn't!"

. . . . . .

**Cas:** "What is this?"

**Dean:** "Air hockey."

**Sam:** "Dean will teach you."

**Dean:** "Just use this, and try to hit that disk into that slot, and I'll be trying to do the same thing."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .What? Holy crap!"

**Sam:** "Whoa! He did it in one hit!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "WAHAHAHAHA! Cas got into Dean's SLOT!"

**Dean:** "SHUT UP!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Every time you open your mouth something bad comes out."

**Gabriel:** "But, you like my tongue!"

**Sam:** "Point made."

**Dean:** ". . . .Damnit, Cas. Why are you so good at this?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "It's easy to get into Dean's SLOT, huh? What a whore."

**Dean:** "Why can't I get a point?. . . .Damnit! Again?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I guess Cas can fit into Dean's SLOT. While, Dean is too small and is rejected."

**Sam:** "Enough, Gabe. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Dean isn't welcomed in Cas' SLOT."

**Sam:** "You know, Cas also beat you at driving and the water games. . . .Ohhh! You sneaky little angel! You're hustling us!"

**Cas:** ". . . .Maybe."

**Dean:** "Cas! You lying ninja angel! "

**Cas:** "I've been watching the Earth for a long time, I've picked up a few things."

**Dean:** "So, you're pro at games, but you never learned about TV? Hello! Where do you think all my references come from?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Dude! Cas lied to get into Dean's SLOT!"

**Dean:** "SHUT UP!"

**Sam:** "QUEIT!"

. . . . . . .

**Bobby:** "Peace and quiet. . . ."

**Intercom:** "Will a 'Bobby Singer' please come to the information booth?"

**Bobby:** "What the hell?"

**Intercom:** "We have a Chuck Shurley looking for you."

Bobby: "Fuck."

Intercom: "Once again, 'Bobby Singer'. Or described by Chuck Shurley, 'old, short, fat, grumpy man with the words: EX-CRIPPLED on his forehead'. We have a Chuck Shurley looking for you. Thank you."

**Bobby:** "CHUCK!"

. . . . .

**Chuck:** "That'll make him come running."


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Dean:** "Let's eat at McDonald's."

**Gabriel:** "You're gonna get fat. Let's eat at Subway."

**Lucifer:** "I want sushi!"

**Michael:** "What about noodles?"

**Lucifer:** "Sushi with mustard!"

**Sam:** "Just a salad is fine."

**Chuck:** "I wanna a taco!"

**Sam:** "Michael smites tacos."

**Michael:** "I do not!"

**Chuck:** "Don't touch my taco!"

**Dean:** "C'mon! Burgers and fries!"

**Gabriel:** "Eat something healthy for once in your life."

**Dean:** "Right, because chocolate and beer is so healthy."

**Gabriel:** "Hey! It's not like I'm putting chocolate and beer on my sub! Ooohh, maybe I should. . . ."

**Cas:** "I want bacon."

**Dean:** "Bacon?"

**Cas:** ". . . .Yes."

**Bobby:** "Where the hell do you get bacon?"

**Lucifer:** "From dogs. Bacon comes from dogs."

**Bobby:** "Don't be an idjit in public."

**Michael:** "There's cake noodles, fried noodles, ramen-"

**Lucifer:** "Sushi and mustard? Eww! Sushi and ketchup!"

**Sam:** "Ew, Lucifer."

**Michael:** "—Udon, soba-"

**Bobby:** "Bacon comes from pigs. Pigs!"

**Lucifer:** "Nuh-uh, Booby! Steak comes from pigs!"

**Michael:** "—Spaghetti, pasta, chow fun, chow mein. . . .and that's about it, I think."

**Chuck:** "That's a lot of noodles."

**Dean:** "McDonalds!"

**Gabriel:** "Subway!"

**Dean:** "Cheeseburgers!"

**Gabriel:** "Footlong!"

**Chuck:** "Five dollar-"

**Lucifer:** "Five dollar-"

**Chuck:** "Footlong! I love that jingle!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "Last time, bacon pigs, steak cows!"

**Lucifer:** "No, no, no! That's all wrong!"

**Michael:** "Let's just go to the food court, please."

. . . . .

**Lucifer:** "Mmmmm!. . . .What?"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "It's good!"

**Dean:** "I think I'm gonna be sick. . . ."

**Sam:** "If you are turn your head the other way."

**Michael:** "I'm not hungry anymore."

**Chuck:** "So, you're not gonna finish that?. . . .Thanks."

**Gabriel: **"What is that?"

**Bobby:** "Looks alien."

**Gabriel** "I wanna touch it!"

**Sam:** "No! It might be poisonous."

**Dean:** "Should I shoot it?"

**Cas: **"Multiple times."

**Michael:** "I think it's moving."

**Chuck:** "Aah! It's alive!"

**Gabriel:** "It feels weird."

**Dean:** "The most supernaturalest thing I've ever seen."

**Sam:** "Should I draw a Devil's Trap?"

**Cas: **"Multiple ones."

**Michael:** "Is this a new apocalypse?"

**Gabriel:** "Was it always that color?"

**Chuck:** "Aah! It's mutating!"

**Lucifer:** "Shut the fuck up, guys! It's just food!"

**Bobby:** "That's food?"

**Sam:** "Disgusting food."

**Dean:** "Not even I would eat it."

**Lucifer:** "It's not gross, it's yummy!"

**Michael:** "Yeah, if you like to eat crap!"

**Sam:** "Chuck, you can finish my salad."

**Chuck:** "No. . . .I'm not hungry anymore."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "WHAT? It's just sushi with ketchup, a salad with gravy and whipped cream, noodles with jello and pudding, a hotdog with chili, grapes, tuna and peanuts, and a cake topped with olives, mushrooms, cheese and caramel syrup. Oh, and a side of fish custard."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "What? I can share!"

**Dean:** ". . . .I'd rather lick my shoe."

. . . . .

**Bobby:** "So we're here in-"

**Lucifer:** "Ireland."

**Michael:** "Don't talk, your breath smells like shit."

**Bobby:** "Here in Minnesota and we need to get to. . . .where?"

**Chuck:** "Uhh, Texas."

**Dean:** ". . . .Are you not sure?"

**Chuck:** "I'm definetly, positively, absolutely 58.3% sure it's Texas."

**Sam:** "That's a horrible number."

**Chuck:** "I'm pretty sure."

**Lucifer:** "I want my pony!"

**Gabriel:** "Wasn't it a llama?"

**Lucifer:** "I want my llama!"

**Bobby:** "So, we have to travel all the waaaayyy down to here."

**Michael:** "That's a fucking long way."

**Dean:** "This road trip never ends."

**Sam:** "Our life used to be one big road trip that never ends. Oh, wait, it still is."

**Dean:** "Remember when it was just you, me and Cas?"

**Sam:** "Yeah, that seemed soooo long ago."

**Dean: **"The good ole day."

**Sam:** "Just the three of us. The three musketeers."

**Dean:** "Three amigos."

**Sam:** "Three stooges."

**Dean:** "Now, we're like the Brady Bunch on crack. Lots and lots of crack."

**Gabriel:** "Remember when it was just the four of us? Me, you, Dean-o and Cas?. . .Good times."

**Sam:** "What?"

**Dean:** "Fuck off, Gabriel."

**Gabriel:** "Before all this apocalypse bullshit and dick angels. . . . ."

**Sam:** "What?"

**Dean:** "Fuck off faster, Gabriel."

**Lucifer:** "Now we're all one big happy family!"

**Michael:** ". . . .Yaaay. . . ."

**Cas:** "I like this family."

**Lucifer:** "Yeah! It feels. . . .homey!"

**Bobby:** "I ain't apart of this family."

**Chuck:** "I was dragged into it. . . .I only wanted a taco. . . ."

**Michael:** "Dad. . . .why have you forsaken me?"

**Dean:** "Sooo, Texas, huh?"

**Sam:** "Can we get there quickly, please?"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, me and Sammy wanna ditch you guys the sooner the better."

**Bobby:** "Why can't I just take a bus home? Or fly?"

**Lucifer:** "You can fly?"

**Gabriel:** "No, Dumbo. He means on a plane."

**Dean:** "NO! NO PLANES."

**Sam:** "Relax. We aren't taking a plane."

**Cas:** "But it would be faster."

**Dean:** "Whose side are you on?"

**Cas:** "I'm being logical."

**Dean:** "If we go on a plane and crash, I'm breaking up with you."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Just dump him first, Cas. I don't why you dig Dean."

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, I mean he's too fat."

**Lucifer:** "I can help you get chicks or chicks with dicks."

**Michael:** "Please! You have the shittiest pick up lines ever!"

**Lucifer:** "No! Mines are so pro!"

**Michael: **"You're best line is 'is your family retarded? Cos you're special'."

**Dean:** "That's fucked up."

**Sam:** "And she fell for that?"

**Gabriel:** "No. She ran him over with her wagon. Or your favorite line 'You must be a toilet. Cos you're the shit!' hahahaha! What a dumbass!"

**Lucifer:** "Oi! They work!"

**Chuck:** "Yeah, if you're deaf and blind!"

**Bobby:** "Says the guy who pays for sex, I mean prostitutes, I mean hookers, I mean mommies."

**Chuck:** "Hey! That was our little secret."

**Michael:** "It was never a secret."

. . . . .

Yes, I know it's short.


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Dean:** "Get in the car, Willy Wonka!"

**Gabriel:** "But—but it's the world's biggest candy shop ever! It has fucking two floors! TWO FLOORS!"

**Dean:** "Does it look like I give a shit? Get your chocolate ass in the damn car!"

**Sam: **"Another time, Gabe. Another time."

**Gabriel:** "But—but—you promise?"

**Sam:** "Yes."

**Gabriel:** "Promise promise?"

**Sam:** "Yes."

**Gabriel:** "Pinky swear?"

**Dean:** "Oh my god! Get in the fucking car! He promises!"

**Cas:** "Dean."

**Dean:** "What?"

**Bobby:** "Leave the damn angel kid alone. What if it was a two story burger joint?"

**Dean:** ". . . .Did they have a water fountain of beer?"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . . "

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "My place had a chocolate river."

**Sam:** "Like Willy Wonka."

**Gabriel:** "Can't we go for five minutes?"

**Dean:** "We're not turning this car around."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Why does it feel like we're forgetting someone?"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . . "

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . . "

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "1, 2, 3, 19, 28, 4, B. . . .Nope! We're all here!"

**Michael:** ". . . .Oh."

. . . .

**Chuck:** ". . . . .Hello? Guys?. . . .I got the beer. . . ."

. . . .

**Dean:** "Aaaaahhh! We forgot the beer!"

**Sam:** "Uh, hello Dean! We forgot Chuck!"

**Dean:** "Which means we forgot the beer!"

**Michael:** "Are we gonna go back for him?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Weellll, there's more space back here now. No prophet jammed in the middle."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "We should. . . ."

**Dean:** "But. . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Aaah That asshole! He's free now!"

**Michael:** "What do you mean?"

**Bobby:** "He's free from us, this car, this damn trip!"

**Lucifer:** "He's right! He can take a bus home or whatever!"

**Dean: **"Damnit Chuck, you lucky sonofabitch!"

**Sam:** "I bet he was planning that all along!"

**Michael: **"I'm gonna smite him!"

**Dean:** ". . . .So, can you let me and Cas off right here? We need to umm, make a stop. . . ."

**Cas:** "We do?"

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Uh-uh! You ain't fucking ditching us, either!"

**Sam:** "You dick! We're you really gonna leave your own brother?"

**Dean:** ". . . .Nooooo. . . ."

**Gabriel:** "And Christmas is a time of family, Dean!"

**Sam:** "Family, huh Gabe? All you want are presents."

**Gabriel:** "Well, duh!"

**Lucifer:** "Bah-humbug!"

**Michael:** "You know Scrooge"

**Lucifer:** "Yeah! He's with Disney!"

**Michael:** ". . . .What movie?"

**Lucifer:** "Isn't he in that Hannah Montana one?"

**Michael:** "No."

**Lucifer: **"Oh. I thought he was the dad or something. . . ."

**Dean:** "Sooo, what do you want for Christmas Cas?"

**Cas:** "I don't know. Nothing really."

**Dean:** "C'mon! Don't you want anything?"

**Lucifer:** "I want a llama!"

**Michael:** "Nooo, really? I didn't fucking know that!"

**Lucifer:** "I think Booby wants legs."

**Bobby:** "What? I can walk!"

**Sam:** "I want a new lap top. Maybe the Ipad."

**Gabriel:** "Uhh, can't you ask for something, like, cheaper? Saaaayyyy—a gum ball?"

**Dean:** "What a cheapo! You only have a quarter?"

**Gabriel:** "Oh, it's a quarter?. . . .What about half a gum ball?"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "What do you mean you're not getting me a present? I want a present!"

**Michael:** "I'm already fucking getting you a damn llama!"

**Lucifer:** "That doesn't count! I'm getting it from Chuck! You owe me a present! I want a new pitchfork!"

**Michael:** "Fuck that!"

**Lucifer:** "C'mon!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . . .Did anybody realize Bobby resembles Santa?"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "No!. . . .Hey, yeah. He kinda does."

**Bobby:** "Shut yer trap, boy!"

**Sam:** "I could totally picture you in a beard and suit. . . ."

**Cas:** "Santa Bobby."

**Dean:** "Hey! I remember that-"

**Bobby:** "Shut up!"

**Dean:** "—one year, you dressed up as Santa for us when dad was gone!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Really?"

**Lucifer:** "Aaaawww! How cute!"

**Michael:** ". . . .What an awkward mental picture."

**Cas:** "Dean, I know what I want now."

**Dean:** "Great. What is it?"

**Cas:** "Misha Collins."

. . . .

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Gabriel:** "Say it."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Out loud."

**Dean:** "I feel like I'm in a fucking Twilight movie."

**Bobby:** "I ain't going to fucking say it."

**Gabriel:** "C'mon! Please?"

**Lucifer:** "It'll be funny!"

**Bobby:** "When hell freezes over."

. . . . .

**Meg:** "What the fuck!"

**Azazel:** "Hell froze over!"

. . . .

**Lucifer:** "Okay. Done! Now say it!"

**Bobby: **". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Don't make me spill your secrets."

**Bobby:** "Fine."

**Lucifer:** "Hold on! I'm gonna tape this with my iPhone and post it on youtube!"

**Michael:** "Where the fuck did you get an iPhone?"

**Lucifer:** "I stole it."

**Michael:** "Lucifer!"

**Lucifer:** "We're getting off subject, people! Say it!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "Ho ho ho!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "That was kind of weird."

**Gabriel:** "Boooo! You suck as santa!"

**Bobby:** "Go fuck yourselves."

**Lucifer:** "Oh. I forgot to press 'record'."

. . . .

**Chuck:** ". . . .Oh. It's you! Hiya!. . . .wait—what're you-stop-aaah!"

. . . .

**Gabriel: **"Wanna hear my Christmas joke?"

**Sam:** "No, not really."

**Gabriel:** "Aaaww, why not?"

**Dean:** "Because he hates your voice."

**Gabriel:** "Like how he hates your face?"

**Michael: **"Stop texting."

**Lucifer:** "But I'm texting Death."

**Michael:** "You're driving!"

**Lucifer:** "Don't worry about it!"

**Michael:** "Can I see?"

**Lucifer:** "Sure. . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "HEY! MY IPHONE! You just threw it out the fucking window!"

**Michael:** "Focus on the road."

**Lucifer:** "You owe me a new iPhone!"

**Dean:** "All of you owe me therapy."

**Bobby:** "We need Dr. Phil therapy."

**Sam:** "Fine. What is your joke?"

**Gabriel:** "What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .What?"

**Gabriel:** "Santa only had three ho's! Get it?"

**Lucifer:** "Whahahahahaha-yeah, I don't get it."

**Dean:** "Not the best joke ever."

**Sam:** "You've been begging to tell me that joke? Are you serious?"

. . . .

**Chuck:** "Aaaahh! Don't put me in there!"

. . . .

**Lucifer:** "It wasn't me I swear!"

**Michael:** "Good job, asshole. You broke our only car!"

**Dean:** "Now you broke two cars!"

**Sam:** "Calm down. . . .See we're just out of gas."

**Bobby:** "I told you to stop at that gas station!"

**Lucifer:** "Well, I didn't so sue me!"

**Gabriel:** "Well, Cas. Are you up to walking with me back to the gas place?"

**Cas:** "How far?"

**Gabriel:** "Just ten miles. And ten miles back."

**Sam:** "Great."

**Dean:** "It's starting to feel a lot like Christmas. . . ."

**Crowley:** "Ho ho ho, guys."

**Dean:** "Oh look, a fucking Christmas miracle."

**Gabriel:** "What do you want?"

**Lucifer:** "Santa?"

**Michael:** "It's fucking Crowley, dickwad."

**Lucifer:** "Oh. So he's not an Angel? Who was he again?"

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "King of Hell, dumbass."

**Bobby:** "I swear, you're like schizoid or something. . . ."

**Sam:** "Why are you here?"

**Crowley:** "I'm in a giving mood tonight, boys! It's Christmas time! Oh, by the way. Which one of you assholes froze hell over?"

**Lucifer:** "Me! Me! Me!"

**Crowley:** ". . . .Thanks for that, mate. I made a snow angel. . . .it was fun."

**Dean:** "You wanted Hell to freeze over?"

**Crowley:** "Fuck yes! Hell is fucking hot! Now, present time! Here you go, Gabriel the Idiot."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Stilts? You gave me fucking stilts?"

**Crowley:** "Now, you'll be the tallest Angel!"

**Gabriel:** "I'm gonna fucking-"

**Crowley:** "And for you, Antichrist."

**Sam:** ". . . .A rock?"

**Crowley:** "You can name it Phil. Cas."

**Cas:** ". . . .Soda?"

**Crowley:** "Red bull gives you wings. Lucifer and Michael."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Barbie?"

**Michael:** ". . . .And I got Ken."

**Crowley:** "Hehehehe. And, Mr. Singer."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** "I know! You're speechless! A framed picture of us kissing!"

**Bobby: **". . . ."

**Crowley:** "It was either that or a life size cardboard cutout of me."

**Dean: **". . . ."

**Crowley:** "And for the elder Winchester. . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .Gas? You gave me fucking gas?"

**Crowley:** "Yup. Your car needs gas, doesn't it? I saved you a twenty mile walk."

**Dean:** "Why not just give me my damn Impala?"

**Crowley:** "I thought you'd enjoy gas more. . . .Be grateful, you little bitch."

**Lucifer:** "Bah-humbug!"

**Crowley:** "And, here. You can share this one. See yah."

**Sam:** "Whoa! That's a big present!"

**Gabriel:** "I wanna open it!"

**Lucifer:** "I think something's moving inside. . . ."

**Dean:** "I'll just take the cover off. . . ."

**Chuck:** "AAAHH!"

**Sam:** "AAHH!"

**Chuck:** "AIR! AIR!-OW! Did you just throw a rock at my head?"

**Sam:** "Sorry, you just scared me. . . .what the fuck are you thinking popping out of a box?"

**Chuck:** "UHH, HELLO? YOU LEFT ME AT THE MALL YOU FUCKING JERKS!"

**Dean:** "Sorry about that."

**Chuck:** "I ain't gonna give your sorry asses any presents!"

**Lucifer:** "Hey, guys! Look what I got! Mistletoe!"


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Michael:** "Where did you get mistletoe from?"

**Lucifer:** "Santa!"

**Gabriel:** "Santa isn't real, stupid!"

**Lucifer: **"Yes, he is! How'd I get the mistletoe, then?"

**Gabriel:** "Uh, I dunno—CROWLEY!"

**Lucifer:** "Whoa! I didn't know he was Santa!"

**Dean:** "Yeah, cos freakin' Bobby is Santa!"

**Bobby:** "Shut up!"

**Sam: **"Christmas is so loud."

**Chuck:** "Well, family is like that."

**Sam: **"That's true."

**Chuck: **". . . .Family doesn't fucking leave each other at the mall!"

**Sam:** "That wasn't my fault!"

**Chuck:** "Doesn't matter! Why didn't you come back for me?"

**Sam: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Assholes!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Santa is real!"

**Gabriel:** "Don't be an idiot!—Or a bigger idiot. Think about it Lucy, do you really want some fat, drunk, old person in your house in the middle of the night?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "And, he's jolly because he's fucking drunk senseless off of milk?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "AND, a big pervert because he goes to children with presents? Is that really Santa?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Crowley's like that?"

**Gabriel:** "Wha-No!. . . .Whatever! Lemme see the mistletoe!"

**Lucifer:** "I don't wanna fucking kiss you!"

**Gabriel:** "Just lemme see the damn plant!-Lucifer! This ain't mistletoe it's fucking grass!"

**Lucifer:** "Well, duhhh! Mistletoe is grass!"

**Gabriel:** "NOOO! IT'S NOT!. . . .How the hell did Crowley get grass this weird looking?"

**Lucifer:** "I'm telling you, shortie, mistletoe is-"

**Gabriel:** "NOO!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "We just thought-"

**Chuck:** "What? That you could leave me there?"

**Sam:** "Yes! No-well, yeah. I mean, you were free!"

**Chuck: **"What'd you mean?"

**Sam:** "You were alone, Chuck! Far from this whackjob car!"

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Sam: **"You could've went home! Back to mommy!—and mommy! By like, whatever! Plane, train, car, maybe even a fucking taxi. . . ."

**Chuck:** "Dude, you're right!"

**Sam:** "Why the fuck would you wrap yourself up-"

**Chuck:** "Crowley!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "What? I didn't say anything!"

**Bobby:** "You keep bringing it up!"

**Dean:** "That was years ago, Bobby! I don't even remember what you looked like!"

**Bobby:** "Yes, you can! You're fucking imagining me with a beard right now!"

**Dean:** "No, I'm not!. . . . . .hehehehehehe!"

**Bobby:** "Superman idjit!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** "Should we tell them the gas is spilling?"

**Michael:** "Nah, they'll figure it out."

**Dean: **"AAAHHHH! THE GAS! GABRIEL, YOU IDIOT!"

**Gabriel:** "I didn't do it!"

. . . . . .

**Lucifer: **"On the road again!"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** "At least Crowley got us a states map."

**Michael:** "I hate maps!"

**Lucifer:** "And, maps hate you."

**Bobby: **"I like maps. Maps are cool."

**Michael:** "Maps are wrong! Listen to the Archangel!"

**Bobby:** "I rather not. You assholes are such control freaks. . . .And you're wrong all the time!"

**Dean:** "I'm hungry."

**Sam:** "You're always hungry."

**Gabriel:** "Are you hungry for Cas?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean: **"No!"

**Gabriel:** "You don't have to say so quickly! You'll hurt Cas' feelings!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Cas doesn't have feelings. . . .or emotions. I mean, just look at his face!"

**Cas: **". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Don't be a dick to Cas!"

**Dean:** "Shut up, dickfaces. Cas doesn't give a shit, he's superior to your pointless arguing."

**Sam:** "So, you're inferior?"

**Dean:** "No, I'm not! You—yeah, I guess I am. . . .Let's stop and eat."

**Sam:** "We just ate at the mall."

**Dean:** "Well, all that arguing and Crowley made me hungry!"

**Cas:** "Would you like my Red Bull?"

**Gabriel:** "You should've got a Pepsi Max! Pepsi Max is better!"

**Bobby:** ". . . .I like Coke Zero better."

**Gabriel:** "Oh, no you didn't! Fuck Coke Zero!"

**Bobby:** "Hey! Don't make me throw you through a window!"

**Gabriel:** "Holy shit, Bobby! I'm about to bring Snoop Dogg all up in this bitch!"

**Dean:** "What are they talking about?"

**Sam:** "No idea."

**Cas:** "I don't understand their references."

**Dean:** "No one does."

**Michael:** ". . . .Why does this map say Munchkinland?"

**Lucifer:** "Ohh lemme see! Where's Candyland? I wanna go there!"

**Gabriel:** "Me too! Me too!"

**Sam: **"Let me see. . . .What the fuck? Narnia?"

**Dean:** "Narnia? Oh right, you think about fairytales often."

**Sam:** "It's not a fairytale!"

**Dean:** "But these aren't real places!"

**Gabriel:** "No shit, high school dropout!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "See? Maps aren't fucking cool!"

**Bobby:** "Damnit, Crowley!"

**Lucifer:** "Damnit, Santa!"

**Gabriel:** "HE'S NOT SANTA!"

**Dean:** "Narnia, Munchkinland, Candyland, Cheese world, the moon—the moon? What the fuck?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "Where are we headed? Stop driving, Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "No! I'm going to some place on the map!"

**Michael:** "Which one?"

**Lucifer:** "Raxacoricofallapatorious!"

**Sam:** "How'd you even say that?"

**Chuck:** "It's easy! Raxacoricofallapatorious!"

**Dean:** "Puppets, Hell, Smurf turf, Camelot, Burger world, Clom—Burger world? Burger world! Let's go there!"

**Sam: **"This isn't a real map, Dean."

**Bobby:** "This map's pretty cool. Maps are cool."

**Michael:** "No it's not. It fucking sucks. We're probably lost again."

**Lucifer:** "Doesn't matter."

**Gabriel:** "Hey Lucy, the longer we're lost, the longer you have to wait to get your llama!"

**Lucifer:** "Aaaahhh! Llamas comes first! But—Raxacoricofallapatorious—llama—Raxacoricofallapatorious—llama—it's so fucking hard to choose!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Are you sure this is the Devil?"

**Lucifer:** "Wait! How do I know that llamas aren't on Raxacoricofallapatorious?"

**Dean:** "Oh, I dunno—BECAUSE RAXACORICOFALLAPATORIOUS ISN'T REAL!"

**Gabriel: **"Call Crowley."

**Lucifer:** "Okay!"

**Dean:** "I can't believe we're calling Crowley about this. . . . ."

. . . . . .

**Crowley:** "I can't believe you fucking called me here for this shit."

**Dean:** "I know!"

**Lucifer:** "Shut up! Is Raxacoricofallapatorious a real place or not?"

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Tell the truth."

**Crowley:** "Hmmm. . . .yeah, it is."

**Dean:** "What? LIAR!"

**Sam:** "Gotta be kidding me."

**Lucifer:** "WOOOOO! We're going! Thanks, Santa!"

**Crowley:** ". . . .Idiots. . . .Santa? Did he just call me Santa? Do I look like Bobby?"

. . . . .

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Don't say it."

**Dean:** "Oh, but I will. I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T REAL!"

**Chuck:** "It's just a sign that says 'Raxacoricofallapatorious'. And, a tree."

**Bobby:** "Oh look, another sign. 'DUMBASSES'. Great."

**Sam:** "Oh man, do you feel stupid?"

**Gabriel:** "He feels like that every damn day."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "We turn around now, yes?"

**Dean:** "And where do we go, huh? The fucking moon?"

**Lucifer:** "Ooooh, can we?"

**Dean:** "Yeah, hold on. Let me just jump in my rocket ship!"

**Gabriel:** "Rocket ship? I wanna be co-pilot!"

**Dean:** "Fuck off, idiot."

**Lucifer:** "So, where to now?"

**Michael:** "Oh, I don't know—LET'S JUST FOLLOW THE MAP."

**Bobby:** "Shut up. Maps are cool."

**Dean:** "And, we're probably wasting what little gas we have left, because SOMEONE spilled it all!"

**Gabriel:** "I didn't do anything!"

**Sam:** "Well then, we should look for a gas station."

**Cas:** "OR A FUCKING INSANE ASYLUM!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .Cas?"

**Cas:** "Don't fucking 'Cas' me, you idiot!"

**Dean: **". . . ."

**Cas:** "DO YOU KNOW WHY I'M SOO FUCKING QUIET? IT'S NOT BECAUSE I'M STUPID AND DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S GOING ON, IT'S BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO STAY THE FUCK CALM! YOU DUMBASSES ARE SO LOUD AND ANNOYING-"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** "—TRY SHUTTING UP FOR ONCE IN YOUR DAMN LIVES! ALL YOU DO IS YELL, YELL, YELL! IT'S INFURIATING! JUST SHUUUUTTT UUUPPP! LUCIFER, LLAMAS ARE NOT SQUARES AND NO ONE FUCKING LIKES LLAMAS!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** "THAT MAP ISN'T COOL, IT'S FUCKING USELESS AND IT FUCKED EVERYTHING UP! AND MICHAEL, IF YOU DIDN'T THROW OUT FIRST MAP, WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SHITTY MESS!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** "GABRIEL AND DEAN, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP! IT'S JUST CONSTANT BLAH BLAH BLAH BETWEEN YOU IDIOTS! IT'S SOOOO FUCKING ANNOYING TO LISTEN TO! AND YOUR INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS ARE STUPID, SO SHUT UP! SAM AND CHUCK ARE ALRIGHT, BECAUSE THEY DON'T CONSTANTLY PISS ME OFF EVERY SECOND! THEY DON'T YELL AND SCREAM AT EACH OTHER!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

Cas: "LISTENING TO YOU WHACKJOBS, SUCKS! YOU HEAR ME? SUCKS! AND IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT ANOTHER MINUTE, I'M GOING TO FUCKING EXPLODE! DO YOU KNOW HOW CLOSE I AM TO FUCKING STICKING MYSELF IN A RING OF HOLYFIRE SO THAT I DON'T HAVE TO GO WITH YOU IDIOTS ANOTHER MILE? IT'S LIKE EVERYONE HAS TAKEN STUPID PILLS AND I'M TRAVELLING WITH A BUNCH OF MONKEYS ON CRACK!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . .Yeah, that's about it."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Dude, Cassie has finally cracked!"

**Gabriel:** "No more Red Bull for you!"


	37. Chapter 37

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Psst. Why is everyone so quiet?"

**Michael:** "Because Cas might explode."

**Gabriel:** "For the third time."

**Dean:** "Shh!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Cas loooves me!"

**Sam:** "Don't push it, idiot."

**Chuck:** "What? I'm his bestest friend!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Isn't that right, Cassie?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Anyone want some CFP? 'Chicken Fried Prophet?'"

**Dean:** "Remember, Cas. Serenity is key-"

**Cas:** "SHUT UP, DEAN."

**Chuck:** "Yeah, Dean!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Why are you looking at me like that?"

. . . . .

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I can't believe you stuffed him in the trunk."

**Cas:** "It was necessary."

**Dean:** "At least he fit. Now we have space again back here."

**Gabriel:** "Dibs on armrest!"

**Dean:** "Hey! Move!"

**Gabriel:** "No way! I got there first! Quit shoving your fat arm!"

**Dean:** "Quit hogging it, candybrain! You don't need all of it, your arm's tiny!"

**Gabriel:** "Better tiny than fat!"

**Dean:** "I thought you liked big!"

**Sam:** "Dean!"

**Gabriel:** "Fuck you! Cas, he's being perverted!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** "And I thought we were bad."

**Lucifer:** "I've always been bad!"

**Michael:** "Ha! You pick flowers!"

**Lucifer:** "What? No, I don't! You're the one who made humans think we wore togas and shit!"

**Michael:** "You're the one who made them believe we were babies playing harps!"

**Bobby:** "Can you stuff me in the trunk? Is it soundproof? "

**Cas:** "You won't fit."

. . . . .

**Chuck:** "Guys! It's dark in here!. . . .Aahh! Bumpy! Drive carefully! What if Dean's gun goes off?"

. . . . .

**Dean:** "Please! I'm the better hunter, Sammy!"

**Sam:** "You shot Casper in the face, you freak!"

**Dean:** "I'm not an idiot and says bloody mary three times! I've saved your ass so many times!"

**Sam:** "Me too!"

**Dean:** "No! You're either captured, in a cage, high on meds or drunk. You even took yourself out!"

**Sam: **"That was the rabbits foot! What about you? Gabe killed you a hundred times! You know how long it took to save you? And a fake doctor shot you, which I had to pull out!"

**Gabriel:** "That's true, I did that!"

**Dean:** "Yeah, well, you wear makeup!"

**Sam:** "What?"

**Dean:** "You cry your way through sex!"

**Gabriel:** "No, he doesn't!"

**Dean:** "He keeps a ruler by his bed and every morning when he wakes up-"

**Cas:** "Why does Sam keep a ruler by the bed, Dean?"

**Gabriel:** "Because I make him, and we're kinky like that!"

**Bobby:** "When I said 'elaborate' I really didn't mean it."

**Lucifer:** "I'm the Morningstar!"

**Michael:** "What does that even mean? There are no stars in the morning!"

**Lucifer:** "Well—shut up! What's your nickname, huh? Donkey butt star?"

**Michael:** "I am your superior!"

**Lucifer:** "You are only superior at one thing."

**Michael:** "What?"

**Lucifer:** "You are superior at being a better ugly asshole!"

**Michael:** "I sit at the honor of God's right hand side."

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, right next to Gabriel and his high chair or was it booster seat?"

**Gabriel:** "I heard that!"

**Sam: **"What are they arguing about?"

**Cas:** "It is not of import."

**Dean:** "Not of import? Cas are you drunk?"

**Cas:** "NO!—yes!"

**Sam:** "Gabe, what did you give him?"

**Gabriel:** "Nothing bad, I swear!"

**Cas: **"He said it'll calm me down. . . .and I am soooo calm right now. . . ."

**Dean:** "Jeez, Cas. . . .DICKSTER! What'd you give him?"

**Gabriel:** "Not even beer! Just, a can of Monster—mixed with Redbull, Rockstar and the Purple Stuff."

**Sam: **"Shouldn't he be more, like, on a sugar rush?"

**Gabriel:** "Nope, low Angels like Cas' garrison can't handle high level energy drinks."

**Dean:** "So, why the fuck did you give his that?"

**Gabriel:** "Um, if you haven't noticed, we've been very irritationg, and I think Cas was gonna burst."

**Dean:** "Uh, dumbass! He snapped last time because he drank Redbull!"

**Gabriel: **"Oh."

**Cas:** "I'm right here, girls! Sitting on this comfy chair—hello, Dean's legs—I feel sooo sober right now."

**Dean:** "Okay, what's two plus two?"

**Cas:** "Jello."

**Sam:** "Okay, just take a nap Cas."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

. . . . .

**Chuck:** "I think I'm running out of air!"

. . . . .

**Bobby: **"Does Chuck have an air hole?"

**Michael:** "Hopefully. Have faith."

**Lucifer:** "I was perfect! Dad made me perfect! He fucked up after me. Ahem, Gaby!"

**Michael:** "You had ADOC disorder!"

**Bobby:** "What's ADOC disorder?"

**Michael:** "Attention Deficit—Oooh Clouds disorder. Do you know how long Dad took to get his attention?"

**Lucifer:** "What? When flying you get distracted."

**Michael:** "You took out the dinosaurs."

**Lucifer:** "I missed one. Barney's still alive!"

**Michael:** ". . . .Times like these, I miss _him_."

**Lucifer:** "Aaahh! No!"

**Gabriel:** "No! Don't say that! Not _him_! You don't miss _him_!"

**Michael:** "_He'd_ be fun right about now."

**Gabriel:** "No! When you say that, _he_ usually shows up!"

**Michael: **"_He_ loves these family things."

**Lucifer:** "No! No! No!"

**Sam:** "Who are they talking about?"

**Bobby:** "Don't know."

**Sam:** "Who, Gabe?"

**Gabriel:** "The Devil!"

**Dean:** "Newsflash, he's already he's sitting next to Michael and driving!"

**Gabriel:** "No! The REAL Devil! He makes Lucifer look like an Angel! Like—like Cas!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "But who?"

**Lucifer:** "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"

**Dean:** ". . . .Voldemort?"

**Sam:** "A name, Gabe!"

**Michael:** "It's—Lucifer look out!"

**Lucifer:** "Whoaa!. . . . .Asshole, get out of the fucking road! I almost fucking ran you—Aw, shit! See? He's here!"

**Gabriel:** "Crap."

**Bobby:** "Well, it's not King of Hell."

**Michael:** "Hey you!"

**Sam:** "_Him_?"

**Cas: **". . . ."

**Dean:** "Who is it?—I can't see! Cas, move your drunk head!"


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Michael: **"I missed you so much."

**Balthazar:** "Ditto, Mikey."

**Gabriel:** "What are you doing here?"

**Balthazar:** "Oh, just passing through. Then, I hear this loudass car, so I knew it could only be my favorite moronic brothers."

**Lucifer:** "Stupid! I hate you."

**Balthazar:** "You were just jealous I was British with a hot accent. . . . .Who are you?"

**Sam:** "I'm Sam and that's Dean."

**Dean:** "I'm Dean."

**Sam:** "Yeah, I just said that."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "Hello, I'm Balthazar. . . .The infamous Winchesters?"

**Dean:** "Infamous?"

**Lucifer: **"More like idiot."

**Gabriel:** "Look who's talking."

**Lucifer:** "I don't know. Because when I look at you, I can't see you you're too short."

**Balthazar:** "Hey, fuck and fucker shut up, I'm talking to someone."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .You can control them?"

**Balthazar:** "Sure. They're just Angels."

**Sam:** "Archangels."

**Balthazar:** "The Winchesters. . . .Yeah, not what I expected."

**Dean:** "What'd you expect some romance novel dude? James Bond?"

**Balthazar:** "Well, I didn't think fucking sasquatches were real."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "But, whatever. Gabriel told me they were like Pinky and the Brain."

**Dean:** "Who're they?"

**Balthazar:** "Now, I see it's more like Sonny and Cher."

**Gabriel:** "I'm not that short!"

**Lucifer:** "You live under a mushroom!"

**Gabriel: **"You have an IQ of a nut! Archangel? Please! Maybe that's why Dad had you dropped down a cage. That's where they put the dog."

**Lucifer: **"I'm THE Archangel, baby."

**Balthazar:** "Yeah, I don't know why though. Ya'll should've been Cupids."

**Michael:** "The way they act, it's like they're in love with each other."

**Gabriel: **"Lucy? I don't date cavemen."

**Lucifer: **"I don't fuck someone less than four feet."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "Who're they? The Hobo and old guy?"

**Michael:** "Those two are-"

**Balthazar: **"Don't really care, I'm interested in the Winchesters."

**Chuck:** "Hoo, rejected."

**Bobby:** "Who you callin' old?"

**Balthazar: **"I'm sorry, is there a lesser being than dirt talking to me?"

**Dean:** "Hey, don't say that about Bobby?"

**Balthazar:** "Ohh, he's Bobby?"

**Chuck:** "Well, at least you're famous in Heaven."

**Bobby:** "Yaaay."

**Balthazar:** "Michael, why do you trouble yourself with these people?"

**Michael:** "I don't really know."

**Balthazar:** "Oh, that's right. Daddy cut off his spoiled brats."

**Gabriel: **"It sucks so badly. This car, I fucking hate it! And, not being able to create whatever I want!"

**Balthazar:** "You mean like this?"

**Gabriel: **"Pie!"

**Balthazar:** "No, down boy. . . .Or this for Lucy?"

**Lucifer: **". . . .What is that?"

**Dean:** "What is that? That's a fucking llama!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .That's what a llama looks like?"

Sam: "Yes!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . .It's shit ass ugly!"

**Balthazar: **"Like you!"

**Lucifer: **". . . .It's supposed to be more-"

**Gabriel:** "Last time—LLAMA'S AREN'T SQUARES!"

**Michael:** "Does that mean you don't want it anymore?"

**Lucifer:** "No, fuck you! I wanna llama!"

**Michael:** "Why! You think it's ugly!"

**Lucifer:** "So? I want a llama! You don't have a llama, and then I'll rub my llama in your face!"

**Michael: **"Well, I'll rub my UNICORN in your face!"

**Sam:** "You have a unicorn?"

**Michael:** "Yup. I call him Charlie."

**Dean:** "Charlie the Unicorn?"

**Sam:** "See? Unicorns are real!"

**Dean:** "Oh, shut up."

**Balthazar:** "Does the younger Winchester desire a unicorn? Well, here."

**Sam:** "A unicorn!"

**Dean:** "No! You can't keep the unicorn Sam!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Dean, it's a fucking unicorn!"

**Dean:** "No! It's going to fuck up my Impala? Where are you going to keep it? A museum?"

**Balthazar:** "Boys, I lied. It's gone."

**Sam:** "Ah!"

**Balthazar:** "Like I'd really give you a unicorn."

**Gabriel:** "See! This is what he does!"

**Lucifer:** "He dangles something in front of you then takes it back!"

**Gabriel:** "Just like the Devil!"

**Balthazar:** "Oh, quit whining yah mooks! It's fucking annoying!"

**Michael:** "I love him so much."

**Balthazar:** "Whoa, back off Romeo. Hey, who's that dude? The one lying in the car?"

**Sam:** "That's Cas."

**Balthazar:** ". . . .He dead?"

**Sam:** "No. Just drunk."

**Balthazar:** "Wait, Cas? As in Castiel?"

**Gabriel: **"Yeah."

**Balthazar:** "Ahh! Favorite brother of mine!"

**Michael:** "I thought I was your favorite?"

**Balthazar:** "Oh, I just told you that so you'll gush over me. Cas, why are you drunk, my nerdy little Angel?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar: **". . . .Dude, you're going to have a massive headache when you wake up, just FYI."

**Lucifer:** "Hey, butthole. He can't hear you."

**Balthazar:** "Which also means he can't hear you. He's so lucky."

**Lucifer:** "Don't talk to Satan like that! Plus, I'm older!"

**Balthazar:** "Satan? Please. You're barely evil. You're like Dr. Evil."

**Chuck:** "Is anyone else scared? There are so many Angels here."

**Bobby:** "Are you gonna shit your pants?"

**Chuck:** "Maybe just a little."

**Cas:** ". . . .Hm?"

**Dean: **"Cas-"

**Balthazar:** "Hey, Castiel! I missed you soo much! Gimme a hug!"

**Cas:** "Why is this guy hugging me? Wait, Balthazar?"

**Balthazar:** "Hi, Cassie! Your favorite brother's here!"

**Dean:** "Yeah, whatever about him. You okay?"

**Sam:** "You have a hangover?"

**Lucifer:** "Oh. I thought Cas was dead."

**Cas:** "Why is everyone yelling at me? My head hurts like a bitch."

**Dean:** "We're not yelling. . . .Did Cas just swear?"

**Sam:** "He has a hangover."

**Cas:** ". . . .It's too damn bright. Fuck you, Sun!"

**Dean:** "You can't see the sun, Cas. Plus, it's night."

**Cas:** "Who asked you, know-it-all?"

**Dean:** "Man, I love drunk Cas."

**Bobby:** "When was Cas ever drunk?"

**Sam: **"When he found a liquor store and drank it."

**Dean:** "In the future. Like, 2014. He even had orgies."

**Cas:** "Orgies? Where? I wanna join."

**Balthazar:** "Dude, your hangover rocks!"

**Cas:** ". . . .Who the fuck are you?"

**Balthazar:** "Balthazar."

**Cas:** ". . . .Oh. You're old. . . .Hehehehe. . . .And British."

**Michael:** "By the way, how'd you find us?"

**Balthazar:** "A little birdy told me. Well a little Crowley did! Hahahaha!"

**Dean: **"Crowley? I'm gonna fucking gank his ass!"

**Gabriel:** "Crowley? His ass is grass! Hehehehe, did I sound like Dean-o?"

**Michael:** "You're close with him?"

**Balthazar:** "Sure, he's the King of Hell. A better one, Lucy."

**Lucifer:** "Whatever."

**Balthazar:** "He has great taste in well, money and stuff like me. Big houses nice cars. . . .And he's British like me."

**Cas:** "Does anyone have aspirin? Like the size of Texas?"

**Balthazar:** "Here you go, Cassie!"

**Gabriel:** "So, you'll create stuff for him but not us?"

**Lucifer:** "We're your brothers too!. . . .I think."

**Balthazar:** "Yes, but I actually like him. Anyways, where are you headed?"

**Michael:** "A motel. But generally, Texas."

**Balthazar:** "Why? Let's check out Pandora!"

**Michael:** "Lucifer wants a llama."

**Balthazar:** ". . . .Hahaha! You're ALL going just for a damn llama because Lucifer wants one? Man, you're like his bitches!"

**Lucifer:** "Hahaha! Yeah!"

**Michael:** "No! He's MY bitch."

**Gabriel: **"You're both my bitches."

**Balthazar:** "Okay! So, I've decided to join you losers, for a little while."

**Gabriel:** "Nooo!"

**Chuck:** "We have no room."

**Cas:** "Hey-didn't I put you in the trunk?"

**Balthazar:** "There is no fucking way I'm sitting between you guys. So, I'll just-"

**Dean:** "Yay! My impala!"

**Balthazar:** "Have two cars."

**Dean:** "I love Balthazar! I call shot gun-Ahh!"

**Crowley:** "I was here first."

**Dean:** "Sam! Shoot him!"

**Sam:** "With what? Our stuff is in the trunk."

**Gabriel:** "Why are you here?"

**Crowley:** "I'm tight with Balthy."

**Balthazar:** "I told you I liked him."

**Lucifer:** "Are you two butt buddies?"

**Crowley: **"No, you imbecile."

**Balthazar:** "That's it, you ain't riding with us! Sam, Dean, get in the car, you too Cas!"

**Crowley:** "No more."

**Balthazar:** "All you lesser people, you people, will ride in that ugly piece of shit."

**Gabriel: **"But, I wanna ride with Sam!"

**Balthazar:** "No."

**Gabriel: **"Stop being a douche!"

**Balthazar:** "Fine, when you grow two more feet."

**Crowley:** "Drink milk."

**Balthazar:** "Got milk?"

**Crowley:** "Later bitches."

**Michael:** "Damn."

**Lucifer:** "I thought you loved him!"

**Michael:** "Shut up."

**Gabriel: **"Aww, someone not a favorite anymore?"

**Lucifer:** "Welcome to the hated club!"

**Michael:** "Shut up! Get in the car, you filthy humans!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck: **". . . ."

**Michael:** "Fucking Angels and humans! I wanna fucking smite something!"

**Chuck: **". . . .I think I might die in this car."


	39. Chapter 39

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

**Dean:** "Does your head still hurt?"

**Cas:** "Is the sun hot? Don't ask stupid questions."

**Dean:** "Just askin', Cas. Geez."

**Cas:** "Quit whinin', you big baby."

**Sam:** "No! We aren't going to a stripclub!"

**Balthazar:** "Stop being a killjoy."

**Crowley:** "Funsucker."

**Sam:** "Just get us to a hotel. Cas needs to lie down."

**Cas:** "You need to lie down."

**Balthazar:** "Dean wants to go to a stripclub."

**Dean:** "Don't drag me into this."

**Crowley:** "See? He didn't deny it."

**Sam:** "It doesn't matter!"

**Balthazar:** "Find a hotel with a stripper room service."

**Crowley:** "That sounds. . . .convenient."

**Dean: **"Why are you even here? Go back to hell!"

**Crowley:** "I'm on vacation."

**Balthazar:** "I think Dean would enjoy Angel and Devil strippers."

**Crowley:** "What a cliché."

**Balthazar:** "I'm bored."

**Dean:** "Then leave."

**Balthazar:** "Let's sing a song."

**Dean:** "This isn't camp!"

**Sam:** "No Justin Beiber songs!"

**Balthazar:** "Fine. 1000 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 1000 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 999 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Dean:** "Oh my god!"

**Cas:** "Hey, asshole! Don't blasphemy!"

**Dean:** "But you just did! You swore!"

**Cas:** "I am an Angel of the Lord of the Rings."

**Dean: **"God, you're drunker than a passed out hooker."

**Balthazar:** "998 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 998 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 997 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Sam:** "How do you put up with him?"

**Crowley:** "We made a deal. I don't hear his singing and I won't tell Heaven he's alive."

**Sam:** "You're dumb!"

**Balthazar:** "997 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 997 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 996 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "996 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 996 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 995 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "995 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 995 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 994 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Cas:** "God, I love this song!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "994 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 994 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 993 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . .Okay! Okay! Make me a deal! MAKE ME A DEAL!"

**Crowley:** "Hehehehe."

. . . . .

**Gabriel: **"Gaawwdd. . . .this sucks!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "I want Sammy!"

**Michael: **"Well, too bad."

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, too bad!"

**Gabriel: **"I don't want you ugly goats, I want my Sammy!"

**Michael:** "No! Don't answer, Gabriel!"

**Lucifer:** "Dude, Samantha doesn't want you!"

**Gabriel:** "Like how Dad didn't want you!"

**Michael:** "Quit it!"

**Lucifer:** "Like how Dad didn't want you be tall!"

**Michael:** "SHUT UP!"

**Bobby:** "God doesn't like any of us in this car, does he?"

**Chuck:** "Why do you say that?"

**Gabriel:** "Go back to Narnia, you White Bitch!"

**Lucifer:** "Go back to Oz, you flying monkey!"

**Michael:** "FUCKING SHUT UP!"

**Bobby:** "Because God didn't kill us yet."

**Chuck:** "I wonder if he did, and this is hell."

**Lucifer: **"You look like a Digimon!"

**Michael:** "BE QUIET!"

**Bobby:** "I wonder if Dean's car is better."

**Chuck:** "Probably."

. . . .

**Balthazar:** "972 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 972 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 971 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Sam:** "Anything! I'll do anything! Just make him stop!"

**Crowley:** "Hmmm. . . ."

**Dean:** "Don't do it, Sam!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam: **"PLEASE! MAKE IT STOP!"

**Balthazar:** "971 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 971 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 970 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Dean:** "No, Sam! No!"

**Sam:** "I'm desperate, Dean! DESPERATE!"

**Crowley:** "Weelll. . . ."

**Dean:** "Crowley, I'll shoot your ass with so much rock salt your pee out margaritas!"

**Sam:** "Dean! I can't take it anymore!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Just do what Cas is doing!"

**Sam:** "He's unconscious!"

**Balthazar:** "968 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 968 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 967 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Crowley:** "This is my favorite part!"

**Balthazar:** "967 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 967 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 966 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Dean:** "It's the same, dumbass!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "Dean, just shoot me! JUST SHOOT ME!"

**Dean:** "Ahh! Leggo! You're—cho—king—me!"

**Sam:** "SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME!"

**Crowley:** "Ahhh, now this is why I came on vacation!"

**Balthazar:** "966 bottles of demon blood on the wall, 966 bottles of blood! You take on down gulp it down, 965 bottles of demon blood on the wall!"

**Crowley:** "Aww, this is the life! It's like Heaven in this car!"

**Sam:** "SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME! SHOOT ME!"

**Dean:** "—Dy—ing—Ca—s—help-"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "998 bottles of demon—Hey! Look a hotel!"

**Crowley:** "But do they serve strippers?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "He stopped! He stopped! He stopped! HE STOPPED!"

**Dean:** "So—hap—py—for you—leg—go!-AIR! Sammy! What the hell is wrong with you!"

**Sam:** "He stopped! He stopped! He stopped!"

**Crowley:** "Hmph. Guess I don't get your soul and fifty naked peoples anymore."

**Dean:** "What? Sam! You wanted to deal him that!"

**Balthazar:** "All that singing made me thirsty."

**Crowley:** "Bring on the room service strippers."

. . . .

**Bobby:** "AAHH!"

**Chuck:** "AAHH!"

**Michael:** "Watch the road!"

**Lucifer:** "Don't worry about it!"

**Gabriel:** "Are you fucking nuts? The hell is wrong with you?"

**Lucifer:** "I said don't worry about it, shortie!"

**Chuck:** "I think my heart stopped for a moment."

**Bobby:** "Yeah, me too."

**Gabriel:** "I wonder if Sammy's okay."

**Lucifer:** "No. Balthazar killed him."

**Michael:** "You mean with his singing?"

**Gabriel:** "God, I hate it when he sings! Dad hated it so much!"

**Michael:** "Duh! Why'd you think Dad gave him such a weird name?"

**Lucifer:** "Oh. I thought we named ourselves?"

**Michael:** ". . . .You would name yourself Lucifer?"

**Lucifer:** "No!"

**Gabriel:** "He'd name himself 'Ruler of Zucchinis'."

**Michael: **"Or 'Sir-Idiot-of-Awesomeville'."

**Lucifer:** "Shut up! I'd name myself. . . .Mario."

**Gabriel:** "HAHAHAHAHA! Mario! Hahahaha!"

**Lucifer:** "Don't laugh! I'd name you Goomba!"

**Gabriel:** "Please! I'd name myself—God!"

**Michael:** "You can't do that!"

**Gabriel:** "Why the hell not?"

**Michael:** "That's Dad's name!"

**Lucifer:** "Quit being such a Daddy's boy!"

**Bobby:** "Hey, idjits! They're pulling into a hotel!"

**Lucifer:** "I know, Chad!"

**Bobby:** "What'd you just call me?"

**Lucifer:** "Chad. Your name's Chad."

**Michael:** "Chad? Chad!"

**Gabriel:** "He looks nothing like a fucking Chad!"

**Michael:** ". . . .Maybe a Peter?"

**Gabriel:** "No! Peter!"

**Bobby:** "My name's Bobby, idjits!"


	40. Chapter 40

Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Supernatural

NOTE: Heyyy, I'm baaacckk! Sorry, I was taking my three week long hiatus. That's just me being extremely lazy. You don't know how close I was to just quitting this story. But, I wanna finish it. So, here we go! This is just a warm up chapter. Not filled with my usual amount of laughs, I think.

**Bobby:** "Quit calling me Chad!"

**Lucifer:** "No! Booby's a crap name."

**Bobby:** "Because it's 'Bobby'. 'BOBBY'! Not booby."

**Gabriel:** "Open the door!"

**Michael:** "I am opening it!"

**Gabriel:** "Well, my door ain't opening!"

**Michael:** "I'm pressing the button!"

**Gabriel:** "Press harder, you pansy!"

**Chuck:** "That's what she said!"

**Bobby:** "You're such a child."

**Chuck:** ". . . .Yeah, I know."

**Lucifer:** "Chad."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Chad!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "CHAD!"

**Bobby:** "Ennhh! Guess again. My name's not Chad, boy!"

**Lucifer:** "I'm not a boy! I'm a big boy."

**Bobby:** "You have the IQ for a two year old."

**Lucifer:** "Stop being a bully, Chad!"

**Gabriel:** "Press the 'open' one!"

**Michael:** "This one?"

**Gabriel:** "That one!"

**Michael:** "This one?"

**Gabriel:** "No, that says 'closed' dumbshit! The other one."

**Michael:** ". . . .This one?"

**Gabriel:** "YES!"

**Michael:** "I'VE BEEN PRESSING IT!"

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "What are those morons doing?"

**Sam:** "Looks like Mike and Gabe are fighting, Lucifer and Bobby are yelling at each other and Chuck is covering his eyes."

**Dean:** "What the fuck is up with those dumbasses? They look stuck."

**Crowley:** "Stuck in car, how original."

**Balthazar:** "They've been stuck on an escalator before, well, Lucifer has."

**Sam:** "What?"

**Dean:** "Stuck on an escalator? What the hell?"

**Cas:** "Yeah. Lucifer was on one when it suddenly stopped."

**Balthazar:** "He waited on it for four hours."

**Cas: **"Instead of walking up the rest."

**Dean:** "He stood there for four fucking hours."

**Balthazar:** "He was calling for help."

**Sam:** "Are you sure it wasn't an elevator?"

**Balthazar:** "No. It was an escalator. Me, Cas, Gabe, Mike, Ralphael and Uriel stood on the side watching. It was hilarious!"

**Cas:** ". . . .And long."

**Balthazar:** "Yeah, but Zachariah brought popcorn."

**Sam:** "Why didn't you help him?"

**Balthazar:** "Why should we? Better than putting up with his idiotic shit."

**Crowley:** "And when he got off, Joshua kicked the crap out of his dumbbut."

**Balthazar:** "You saw?"

**Crowley:** "Who do you think stalled the escalator?"

**Sam:** "And, now. Stuck in a car."

**Dean:** "Angels are dumb."

**Cas:** "Watch it."

. . . . . .

**Gabriel:** "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

**Michael:** "I'M TRYING!

**Gabriel: **"Come on, BIG BROTHER!"

**Michael:** "Shuddaup, you!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Oi, you listening to me, Chad?"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Hey! Chad Michael Murray!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "I'll stop calling you Chad, when you start calling me Mario!"

**Bobby:** "You can't honestly like that name."

**Lucifer:** "I fucking love it! I'm gonna name my llama that."

**Bobby:** "You're an idjit."

**Lucifer:** "Tell me something I don't know."

**Michael:** "This one?"

**Gabriel:** "NO!"

**Michael:** "Oh, I know! This one."

**Gabriel:** "That turned the windshield wipers on!"

**Michael:** ". . . .This one?"

**Gabriel:** "No. . . .no, that opened the trunk!"

**Michael: **". . . .That one."

**Gabriel:** "THAT'S THE HORN!"

. . . . . .

**Crowley:** "QUIT HONKING THE DAMN HORN!"

**Dean:** "How long has it been?"

**Sam:** "Ten minutes."

**Cas:** "Ten long minutes."

**Balthazar:** "Think they'll beat four hours?"

**Cas:** "Won't they suffocate?"

**Balthazar:** "Nah, they have windows."

**Crowley:** "Yes, but it seems like they don't think that far ahead."

**Dean:** "Just help them already! This is bullshit."

**Sam:** "And, yet. You stand there."

**Dean:** ". . . .It's too far of a walk."

**Sam:** "What are you doing?"

. . . . .

**Chuck:** "Hey, Crowley is waving hi to us! Hi, Crowley!"

**Gabriel:** "Stop waving!"

**Chuck:** "The unlock the door!"

**Gabriel:** "We're trying!"

**Lucifer:** "How hard is it to open a fuckin' door? Looks, like it's a job for Mario!"

**Bobby:** "Mario's a plumber, you idjit."

**Lucifer:** "Yes. But that lock is evil. And Mario fights evil."

**Bobby:** "He's a damn plumber who steps on walking pieces of crap."

**Chuck:** "If Mario popped up in my toilet, I'd shoot him."

**Bobby:** "Besides, you're fucking LUCIFER! Satan! Devil!"

**Lucifer:** "EX! Ex-Devil. I quit."

**Gabriel:** "More like replaced."

**Michael:** "More like fired."

**Lucifer:** "Fuck ya'll!"

**Michael:** "What are you gonna do? Have your nonexistent llama spit on us?"

**Lucifer:** "Well, I can't have my llama unless you OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!"

**Michael:** "Shut up! I almost got it!"

**Lucifer:** "Just admit Daddy's boy can't open a damn door."

**Gabriel:** "Sammy. . . .he's so close! He's right there!"

**Chuck:** "Yeah. With that bitchface on, looking at us like we're stupid."

**Gabriel:** "I love his bitchfaces. . . ."

**Chuck:** "Is that why he's always has one with you?"

**Gabriel:** "SAMMY!"

. . . . .

**Sam:** "What's Gabe doing?"

**Dean:** "I think he's mouthing something at you."

**Balthazar:** ". . . .'Sammy'. . . . 'sa—save me'. . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . .'send choc-'. . . . '-late'. What a pig. Still thinking with his stomach. "

**Dean:** "Which is weird. He usually thinks with his dick."

**Sam:** ". . . .Not all the time."

**Dean:** "Don't even go there, Sam."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .Cas is not amused."

**Crowley:** "I bet Mikey's the first to crack the window."

**Balthazar:** "I bet on Bobby to smash the window first."

**Sam:** ". . . .Gabe, reluctantly."

**Dean:** "Nah, Chuck has enough brains to break the windows first."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "Sorry, Cassie. You're stuck with Lucy."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Cas? Where you going?"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

. . . . .

**Gabriel:** "That button!"

**Michael:** "I only pressed it a billion times!"

**Gabriel:** "Then, that one!"

**Michael:** "It says lock, moron!"

**Gabriel:** "What about that on—hello, Castiel!"

**Michael:** "What does he want?"

**Chuck:** "What's he doing?"

**Lucifer:** "Hold on, lemme roll down the window. . . . .Yeah? What you want?"

**Cas:** ". . . .I win."

. . . . .

**Dean:** "What the f-"

**Crowley:** "DAMNIT!"

**Balthazar:** "Hey, Cassie cheated! He told Lucifer to open the window!"

**Sam:** "What a nerd angel. . . ."

. . . . .

**Cas:** "What are you doing?"

**Lucifer:** "Ummm, I really don't know."

**Michael:** "The damn lock won't unlock!"

**Gabriel:** "Fix it, Cassie!"

**Cas:** "Why not just crawl out the windows?"

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Bobby:** ". . . .Yeah, why didn't we?"

**Michael:** "Gabriel, your panicking made me panic!"

**Gabriel:** "What! Don't blame this on me, cheesehead!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Does it look like Bobby can fit through the window?"

**Bobby:** "You callin' me fat, boy!"

**Lucifer:** "No, not fat. . . .just Godzilla fat!"

**Chuck:** "Oooh! So that's what God or some Angel meant 'In the near future, I will miss my WINDOW of opportunity when stuck with an obvious solution'."

**Cas:** "Let's go. . . . . Oh, and by the way. You had the childlock on."

**Michael:** "Childlock?"

**Gabriel:** "Fuck."

**Lucifer:** "What's that? Some sort of torture place for kids in lock and chains?"

**Bobby:** "Does it look like we have that hidden in our car!"

**Lucifer:** "Well, fuck you, you-"

**Cas:** "Shut up. Or I swear I'll tell them that you-"

**Lucifer:** "Fine. Fine."

**Cas:** "Move your asses."

**Lucifer:** "By the way, meet Chad Michael Murray."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Say, hi, Cassie! Cassie! Say hi!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Lucifer:** "Say hi, Cass—Ow! Stop it! OWW! Stop smiting me! OW! THAT HURT!"

**Chuck:** "Umm, does Cas seem a little angry?"

**Bobby:** "Dean told me to never piss off the nerd Angels."


	41. Chapter 41

**Dean:** "Now before we go in to the hotel and make major idiots of ourselves-"

**Lucifer:** "Yeah, Mikey!"

**Michael:** "Fuck off, idiot."

**Gabriel:** "Shhh! He's trying to say something important for once!"

**Dean:** "We should-"

**Lucifer:** "Nothing he says is important."

**Gabriel:** "Well, he's trying now!"

**Dean:** "I was saying-"

**Lucifer:** "You don't say anything irrelevant either!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** "Oooh, big word, Lucy! Read the dictionary for once? Or didja pray to Dad for help?"

**Lucifer:** "Well, he listens to ME, then. He never answered when you prayed for tallness."

**Gabriel:** "Or when you-"

**Sam:** "Quit it, Gabe."

**Gabriel:** "Why is it always me! What about Lucy!"

**Lucifer:** "Because no one loves you."

**Crowley:** "I think you got that wrong."

**Lucifer:** "No one asked you, Tweety Bird!"

**Crowley:** "It's CROWley, jackass."

**Balthazar:** "Or Big Bird."

**Crowley:** "Who you callin' Big Bird, weird-name-boy?"

**Balthazar:** "What kind of name is Crowley, huh!"

**Dean:** ". . . .It's okay. Just keep ignoring me."

**Cas:** "I'm listening."

**Dean:** "Thanks."

**Cas:** "Just kidding. I was trying to understand the 'Big Bird' reference."

**Dean:** "Bitch."

**Cas:** ". . . .I will not say 'jerk'. I am not Sam."

**Sam:** "Huh?"

**Cas:** "I did not call you."

**Sam:** "Yes you did. You said my name."

**Cas:** "I did not."

**Sam:** "Yes you did!"

**Dean:** "Great. . . .Oh hey. Forgot about you two."

**Chuck:** "Yeah, that happens a lot."

**Bobby:** "I'm not dead."

**Lucifer:** "At your age, you will be soon."

**Gabriel:** "Aww, Lucy! I didn't think you could count that high!"

**Dean:** "I swear, sometimes it's like big brother means nothing!"

**Michael:** "I know the feeling. Oy, Lucifer and Gabriel SHUT UP!"

**Lucifer:** "Screw you, dude."

**Gabriel:** "You shut it, muttonhead!"

**Michael:** "See?"

**Dean:** "Well. . . .Sammy!"

**Sam:** "In the middle of something, Dean!"

**Dean:** "Sam-"

**Sam:** "Middle of something, Dean! Just a sec!"

**Cas:** "Last time, I did not summon you."

**Sam:** "You said my name!"

**Dean:** ". . . .Point made."

**Chuck:** "I think we were forgotten again."

**Bobby:** "Beats getting yelled at. . . .Or killed."

**Hotel worker:** "Can I help you, sir?"

**Dean:** ". . . . .Dude, you have no idea how much help I need."

**Hotel worker:** "Uhhh-"

**Dean:** "This place have a therapy?"

**Hotel worker:** "We have aroma and massage therapy and-"

**Dean:** "What about Dr. Phil or Oprah shit?"

**Hotel Worker:** "Uhhh-"

**Lucifer:** "Devil trumps Pagans! Go back in your pokeball, Gaby!"

**Gabriel:** "I'm not a pokemon, assface!"

**Dean:** "Yeeaahh, I need like Jerry Springer kind."

**Hotel worker:** "Wellll-"

**Sam:** "You said 'S-A-M'!"

**Cas:** "I know how 'Sam' is spelt. Do not insult my intelligence. It is above yours."

**Sam:** ". . . .NOT THE POINT!"

**Dean:** "Or maybe uh, some, uh-"

**Hotel worker:** "Sir, this is a hotel, not an insane asylum."

**Dean:** "Yeah, okay. We'll take five rooms. Double beds!"

**Hotel worker:** "Here are your keys, sir. Please. . . .go now."

**Lucifer:** "Hey, you're not a pagan god, right?"

**Hotel worker:** ". . . .No."

**Lucifer:** "Hmph. . . . Don't piss me off, ugly. Then, I guess I can spare you, you puny human."

**Hotel worker:** ". . . .Thanks?"

. . . . . .

**Dean:** "Crowley, Balthazar here are your keys."

**Balthazar:** "Yay! Lesgo, roomie!"

**Crowley: **"Why do you automatically assume I wanna room with him, huh?"

**Dean:** "You came with him."

**Gabriel:** "That sounded so kinky!"

**Dean:** "Room with Balthazar."

**Crowley: **"But-"

**Dean:** "Do you really wanna room with anyone else?. . . .REALLY?"

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . .He's an abomination. . . .and too freakishly tall."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . .Too quiet and awkward."

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . .NO! Just-no!"

**Gabriel:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . .Too short and horny."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . .Too holy."

**Chuck:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . .He reeks of hoboness."

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . .We wouldn't sleep all night, if I slept—excuse me, ROOMED with him."

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Crowley:** ". . . .Too-"

**Dean:** ". . . .Don't even say it, sunshine. Just take the key and take Balthazar."

**Crowley:** "Fine. Sounds good. Let's go."

**Dean:** "Michael and-"

**Michael:** "Yeah, yeah. I know. C'mon, Lucifer."

**Lucifer:** "But I wanna hear who Dean says! What if it's me and I miss it cos of you!"

**Michael:** "Just c'mon, shithead."

**Lucifer:** "Weelll, okay. But just don't put me in a room next to Gaby! He and Sam are so noisy at night!"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Sam:** "What!"

**Gabriel:** "There's a reason for that, Lucy!"

**Dean:** "JUST GO TO YOUR ROOM, SAM!"

**Sam:** "Okay, okay! Sheesh, 'go to your room', what am I? Nine?"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, nine feet!"

**Dean:** "Chuck, you and Bobby."

**Chuck:** "Whatever. You know, you're super lucky to room with a prophet?"

**Bobby:** "Yeah. I'm a prophet, too. 'Life's short, so is your penis'."

**Chuck:** "What kind of crap prophecy is that?"

**Bobby:** "A true one, get your ass in the room already. I'm sick of hallway."

**Dean:** "Well, me and you, Cas."

**Cas: **". . . .I just don't understand. Who is 'Big Bird'?"

**Dean:** ". . . ."

**Cas:** "And what is a 'pokemon'?"

. . . . . .

**Lucifer:** "I like this bed!"

**Michael:** "Fine. Take it."

**Lucifer:** "No! I like yours!"

**Michael:** ". . . .Fine."

**Lucifer:** "Yay!. . . .I changed my mind!"

**Michael:** "FINE!"

**Lucifer: **"So comfy!. . . .I think I like the other one better, though."

**Michael:** ". . . .NO. . . .MORE SWITCHING."

**Lucifer:** "Why do you always get the best things, huh!"

**Michael:** "Because you always choose the crappier stuff."

**Lucifer:** "That's not true!"

**Michael:** "You chose 'Never Say Never' over 'I Am Number Four'."

**Lucifer:** ". . . .Shut up."

. . . . . .

**Balthazar:** "Falcon."

**Crowley:** "Falconley? Really?"

**Balthazar:** ". . . .Hummingbird? Woodpecker!"

**Crowley:** "No."

**Balthazar:** "Dove? Chicken? Oh! I know! Rooster!"

**Crowley:** "Rooseter?"

**Balthazar:** "Because I know you always wanted to be a COCK! Waahahahahaa!"

**Crowley:** ". . . .Don't be hatin on my sexy accent."

**Balthazar:** "I have one too. I'm gonna steal all your fangirls."

**Crowley:** "Like how Misha stole all of Jensen's and Jared's?"

**Balthazar:** "Yup!"

**Crowley:** ". . . .I still have the better accent."

**Balthazar:** "No, I do! Suck it, Cockley!"

. . . . . .

**Cas: **"So pokemon are small like Gabriel. And Big Bird is tall like Sam?"

**Dean:** "Yeah, sort of. Pokemon are asian. Sesame Street is. . . .American."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Pokemon fight each other. Big Bird and the other creepy puppets count."

**Cas: **"And they. . . .spell, right?"

**Dean:** "Yes! You get it now?"

**Cas:** ". . . .I understand now."

**Dean:** ". . . .Are you sure?"

**Cas:** ". . . .No. . . ."

**Dean:** "I knew it."

**Cas:** "Soooo. . . .what?"

**Dean:** "They have cable. Go watch Sesame Street. Never thought I'd say that to an Angel."

**Cas:** ". . . .I am so lost."

. . . . . .

**Gabriel:** "Why are there two beds?"

**Sam:** "Because Dean is being Dean."

**Gabriel:** "Can't we like, push them together?"

**Sam:** "This is a hotel. The beds are stuck in place."

**Gabriel:** "What? They think we're gonna jack the beds?"

**Sam:** "Dunno know."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .You're so far away!"

**Sam:** ". . . ."

**Gabriel:** ". . . .Hmph."

**Sam:** ". . . .Huh? What the hell—quit pushing, Gabe!"

**Gabriel:** "There we go!"

**Sam:** "We barely fit in the bed together."

**Gabriel:** "I fit fine."

**Sam:** "You pushed me off half the bed."

**Gabriel:** "But you're still half on the bed. Would you rather have me on top of you?"

**Sam:** "No."

**Gabriel:** "Killjoy."

. . . . . .

END OF CHAPTER 41

. . . . . .

**Chuck:** "I feel like we've been forgotten. . . ."

**Bobby:** "What are you talking about?"

**Chuck:** "I dunno. But it feels like it. . . .Whatever."


	42. Chapter 42

Note: I do not own the rights to Supernatural

I'm writing this in front of McDonald's waiting for damn freakin' bus to hurry up. . . .so. . . .yeah.

**Dean:** ". . . . "

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . . "

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . . "

**Cas:** ". . . ."

"AAAHAHAAHAHA! I GOT YOUR SHEEP!"

**Dean:** "What the fuck was that!"

**Cas:** "I didn't hear anything. . . go back to sleep. . . ."

**Dean:** ". . . .Hmph. . . . ."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

"GE T THE FUCK BACK, HEAR KERMIT! MISS PIGGY WANTS A HUG!"

**Cas:** ". . . .I heard that."

. . . . .

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Bobby! Wakey, wakey, breakfast is ready!"

**Bobby:** ". . . ."

**Chuck:** "Bobby! Bobby, wake up! BOBBY!"

**Bobby:** ". . . . "

**Chuck:** ". . . .Ahh! Demon!"

**Bobby:** "IMMUNA KILL YOU!"

**Chuck: **"Aaahh!"

**Bobby:** "Wha—what?. . . .Damnit, Chuck!"

**Chuck:** "It was the only way to wake you! Damn, you're a heavy sleeper!"

**Bobby:** "Damn idjit. . . .middle of the damn night-"

**Chuck:** "Bobby! This place is haunted! There are voices!"

**Bobby:** "What? You can hear dead people? Can you see dead people too? There is no damn-"

"MUAHAHAHAHA! I PUSHED HUMPTY DUMPTY OFF THE WALL, DAMN EGG! WHAT? WHERE'S LADY GAGA IN THE EGG?"

**Bobby:** ". . . .That's the wind."

**Chuck:** "No!"

. . . . .

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . ."

"WHAT THE FUCK'S A BIEBER? I NEED MORE BEER, QUCIKER MR. RONALD MCDONALD!"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

**Michael:** ". . . .Seriously?"

"WHERE'S MAH HITLER TOY IN MY HAPPY MEAL?"

**Lucifer:** ". . . ."

"BANANAS!"

**Michael:** "You're just gonna sleep through all that!"  
. . . .

**Sam:** "No way!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah! I bet caramel camels!"

**Sam:** "That's stupid! I say fluffy toads!"

**Gabriel:** "Fine!"

"JESUS WEARS A LOINCLOTH BUTTNAKED IN A SANDSTORM!"

**Gabriel:** "I win! Mine's was closer!"

**Sam: **"What!"

"SOMEONE DRANK ALL MY EGGNOG! NOT THE EGGNOG! WHERE'S THE EGGNOG!"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah, I'm totally closer Sammy!"

**Sam:** "You're way off!"

"CLOSE YOUR LEGS YOU STRIPPER OOMPA LOOMPA!"

**Sam:** "Now THAT was closer to you!"

**Gabriel:** "Hey!. . .And don't you forget it!"

**Sam:** "I bet. . . .orange polar bears."

**Gabriel:** "I say shrimp tacos!"

"WHO WANTS A JELLY BABY?"

**Sam:** "I gotta check on Dean."

. . . .

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "FLOWER POWER OF KELLY CLARKSON!"

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "TIGERBLOOD!"

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Balthazar:** "LLAMAS HAVE BALLS THE SIZE OF APPLES! BUTTUCKER!"

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Crowley!"

**Crowley:** ". . . ."

. . . .

**Dean:** "Cas, what is that?"

**Cas:** "I am not sure."

"WHERE IS MY UNICORN? I THINK MICKEY MOUSE STOLE MY UNICORN NAMED DRAGON!"

**Dean:** "It's fucking insane, dude!"

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "How am I supposed to sleep?"

"TURKEY'S ON FIRE! WE NEED WHIP CREAM!"

Sam: "Dean?"

**Dean:** "Sammy! The noise make it stop!"

**Sam:** "Me and Gabe find it quite funny!"

**Dean:** "I wanna shoot whatever it is!"

**Gabriel:** "Calm down, poop head, it's just Balthy."

"I'M THE KING OF TOILET PAPER!"

**Dean:** "Balthazar?"

**Gabriel:** "Yeah. Back home, he had a bad case of sleep talking."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Well, I'm gonna shut him up!"

**Sam:** "Dean-"

**Gabriel:** "Can't. He's hard to wake up. Worse than Lucy."

**Michael:** "Lucy's still sleeping like a baby."

**Gabriel:** "Michael!"

**Sam: **"Michael?"

**Michael:** "Gabriel."

**Cas:** ". . . ."

**Dean:** "Michael?"

**Michael:** "Dean. Cas. Sam."

**Sam:** "Michael."

**Gabriel:** "Gabriel!"

**Dean:** "Shut up."

**Gabriel:** "Well, no one was saying my name!"

**Dean:** "Because no one-"

**Sam: **"Not now. Hey where you going?"

**Dean:** "To shut up Balthazar."

. . . .

I know it's short but I thought this is gonna be my thank you page! Thanks for all nice reviews and love!

_zemyx1995_

_Em_

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Thanks again for the reviews, keep it up!

Find out how Dean will wake up Balthazar and what dumbassry Team Free Will get into next! The adventure continues! Next Chapter to be up soon!


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